Friday, April 01, 2005

Audio Book Review: Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz

What happened to Dean Koontz? Years ago, he wrote some great horror novels, like Darkfall, Phantoms and Twilight Eyes to name a few of my favorites. For a while there I would pick up a new Koontz book rather than the latest King. Then, I don't know if he found religion or what, but he has recently (over his last 5 or 6 novels) started waxing philosophic about the wonders and beauty of life. I don't mean adding a moral to his story, but totally over-saturating it with his thoughts and beliefs. It drives me insane because he can come up with some great plot lines, but his narratives make me want to kill myself. Also, he could cut the word length by two hundred words if he just cut out his favorite word of all..."nevertheless". That word shows up at least a million times in his last few books. Which brings us to his latest and ultimately his worst novel ever, Life Expectancy. The plot centers around Jimmy Tock, master pastry chef, and his 5 dates of horror as predicted by his grandfather on his deathbed. I listened to the audio version of the book and the John Bedford Lloyd did not help the state of this crappy book. His voices for the characters were laughable and they weren't supposed to be, especially when he does the head aerialist Vigilio. Everything turned for the worst when Koontz removed his middle initial "R" from his name on his books. So please, Dean, put the "R" back, start writing horror again, leave the" life's great" stuff to Chopra, forget the word "nevertheless" exists, remember that people don't crack jokes when they are in life risking situations and we'll be back on good terms. I give this book * out of *****, it really is the worst book I've read (listened to) in about five years.

No comments: