DVD Review: Carriers

The other day, I reviewed the end-of-the-world spectacle, 2012, in which I had mentioned that there was no emotional feeling in regards to the devastation that was occurring all around the characters. Here, in Carriers, we have another such film where only a few survivors are left after a terrible plague hits the planet. Let's see how this one pans out.

First, let me start off by saying, Carriers portrays a much more realistic vision of what can happen to people put in this situation (for the most part). Trust issues arise. Decisions have to be made between helping others or leaving them to fend for themselves. That said, the movie is still really lacking something. And for me, it all has to do with the characters.

My biggest complaint is with the character played by Chris Pine. This guy rubs me the wrong way, and if I were one of the last few left on the planet, I would probably eventually have to kill him off. I would say, "This here world is mighty big now that we're the only ones left. Even still, there's no room for assholes." KABLAMMO! Of course, when I utter my memorable line, I say it with Sam Elliott's voice so it's more authentic. The characters you care for the most, the dad with the little sick girl, should have been the focus of this movie instead of the four deuchebags we're left watching.

Besides the characters, the film's other downfall is that it leaves a ton of loose ends all throughout the movie, which I won't go into for spoiler reasons. But, it also doesn't explain much either. For example -- who is the second girl, where did they pick her up and why won't she tell them her last name? Why, after the one guy shoots a dog that was eating a corpse, does he not get infected after the blood gets all over him? How can a big gas-guzzling SUV drive across the desert on a single can of gas? How did the plague start? Why is Chris Pine's character still alive? Why, after cleaning a car's interior with liquid bleach, is no one's clothing faded? How can the guys in truck NOT see the protagonist's bonfire in the pitch black night of the desert? And who were the guys in the truck? There are just too many improbabilities here!

You know what, the more I think about it, the less I like this movie. It's better than 2012, not that that's saying much, but not by far. I give Carriers ** out of *****.

Movie Review: Dead Snow

The snow's just about all melted here in South Jersey and Spring is right around the bend, so I thought there's no better time than now to check out Dead Snow.

Dead Snow is a Norwegian zombie pic that has its tongue set firmly in cheek. The story follows a group of twenty-somethings as they head out into the mountains for a vacation of snow games, beer and sex. While waiting on the cabin's owner, Sara, to make her way across the mountain on foot, the rest of the group arrive at the cabin early and in the meantime have an encounter with an old grizzled local who proceeds to warm them about the "evil that lurks in these mountains."

He goes on to tell them the story of a group of Nazis who terrorized the town during World War II. Eventually, the locals had enough of the torture and revolted against the Germans. Most of the Nazis were killed, but a group escaped into the mountains, including their general, Herzog. Local legend has it that the Nazis are still up in those hills, killing and torturing any and all who they happen across. Of course, the kids think nothing of it and the old guy goes on his way. Why Sara's family never knew about the evil presence right outside their cabin door is unknown, but I digress.

Anyway, what we wind up having is a group of Norwegian kids taking on droves of Nazi zombies in a blood-filled homage to many a horror film, most notably, the Evil Dead.

Dead Snow is not perfect by any means, but its positives greatly outweigh its negatives. The film is beautifully shot, nicely acted and the gory effects are just fantastic. Overall, the movie was just plain fun to watch.

Dead Snow gets **** out of *****.

DVD Review: 2012

I love end-of-the-world epics! And with 2012, we're expecting the be-all, end-all of Armageddon films, right? I mean, it's made by that dude who just loves to blow stuff up! No, not Michael Bay, that other guy, whatshisname, the guy who ruined Godzilla... Roland Emmerich, yeah that's him!

Well, I'm sad to say, he ruined the end of the world, too.

Here's the thing. This is the END OF THE WORLD (as we know it) we're talking about. This film has absolutely no emotion whatsoever. Plus, what's worse, it's filled with stupid WTF moments, like a guy who doesn't know how to fly a plane all of a sudden becoming a top gun pilot capable of avoiding falling buildings and flying through pinpricks of open space! Talk about being in the zone, WTF!?

This film is chock full of idiotic things like that. I can just imagine the screenplay for this film. It must read like this:

John Cusack falls into a crevice... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

John Cusack is underwater, unable to breathe... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

John Cusack is driving the 1972 Winebago 150 mph down a mountain, with a wall of fire nipping at his tailpipe... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

At the hour and a half point of the movie, I'm ready to turn this thing off... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, I... realize there's still over an hour of this drivel to go.

At the end of the day, here's hoping that when the end of the world does come, it's nowhere near as long or as torturous as watching this lump! 0 out of *****. Do you see that tagline at the top of the movie poster? Yeah, we WERE warned! We just didn't learn after The Thirteenth Floor, 10,000 BC, The Day After Tomorrow, etc., etc.