Book Review: The Devil Stood Up by Christine Dougherty

Hey guys, check out my review of the new book by Christine Dougherty, The Devil Stood Up, over at my book review site Words From The Vein. CLICK HERE!!

Book Review: Seed by Ania Ahlborn

Check out my review of SEED by Ania Ahlborn over at Words From the Vein, Dave's Horror's other site strictly for book reviews. Here's the link:

http://wordsfromthevein.blogspot.com/2011/10/book-review-seed-by-ania-ahlborn.html

Movie Review: Creature

ARGGGHHH!!! Will somebody tell me right now just how this movie made it into theaters?! After seeing the trailer for Creature, I thought, OK, might be a little cheesy but it could be fun. Holy hell, I couldn't have been more wrong!

Terror has teeth?! TERROR HAS TEETH?! ARGGGHHHH! It took so long to see these so-called teeth I stopped caring by the time I did! This movie is an hour and a half of pure crapola. The monster is THE worst thing I've ever seen and the characters just can't die quickly enough for my tastes. Man, everything about this movie sucked, with the exception of Sid Haig, of course. In fact, the three hillbillies, of which Haig is one, are the ONLY things about this move that are half-decent. The twenty-something soon-to-be victims are so cardboard it's ridiculous.

This movie should have been titled, "Creature... That Slowly Stands from a Squat." Because that's ALL this creature does! Every time they show him, he's slowly rising from a squat. Sometimes he has some kind of turtle shell or something on top of him and sometimes he doesn't. What, does he carry that thing around like a cape or something? And that's not even the worst of it. When the creature growls or makes one of its other imposing noises, it does so without moving its mouth! Instead of killing swamp people, this mo-fo could have had a great career as a ventriloquist.

Creature is so bad, it shouldn't even be considered for one of Syfy's Saturday Night movies! In fact, this thing makes some of Syfy's offerings look like freaking Lord of the Rings! It doesn't even fit in the "it's so bad it's good" category. I'm telling you, I haven't been this pissed off after seeing a movie in ages. What a terrible waste of time this movie is. If you have a hankering to see an old back-Bayou killer movie, try Hatchet, or even Venom, as they are far superior to this swampy turd (and that's saying something!).

I give Creature a big fat alligator egg, 0 out of *****.

Check out the trailer for Creature below.

Movie Review: Chawz

If there's one thing I can't get enough of, it's monster movies, but more in particular, Asian monster movies. In recent years, Korean filmmakers have reintroduced us to the beauty of mutant monster movies, something that we here in the U.S. haven't produced successfully since the 50s and 60s. These movies are supposed to be light on scares and big on fun. Case in point, Chawz!

The story follows a young police officer from Seoul who gets transferred to a small rural community, much to his chagrin. After his arrival, the body parts start piling up and the previously peaceful village has now become a haven for death and dismemberment conducted by a renegade mutant boar with a voracious appetite -- for human flesh! Eventually a world-famous hunter is called in, and along with the crazy police force, they set out to kill the beast. The only bad thing is they're completely unprepared for the job.

Written and directed by Shin Jung-Won, Chawz knows not to take itself too seriously and that's a good thing. All throughout the movie, there are laugh-out-loud moments and Korean cinema's trademark crazy characters, like the bumbling police force, the boastful hunter and the wacky female villager, that balance out the film perfectly. And, as you can see in the pic below, the cannibalistic boar doesn't look too bad either.

Is Chawz perfect? No. But it is funny, exciting and a lot of fun to watch. And while it is a monster movie, the allure of Chawz has more to do with the human characters rather than the spectacle of the beast, which also kicks ass by the way. I give Chawz **** out of *****.

Movie Review: Bereavement

Being a lover of director Stevan Mena's Malevolence, I was excited to see his latest film, Bereavement. This film is actually a prequel to Malevolence, which came out back in 2004, which is quite a lengthy span between the films, hence the fact that very little is mentioned about the first film in this one's promotions. While Bereavement works as a stand alone slasher movie for those unfamiliar with Malevolence, having seen it does add to the world in which this one takes place and we get to see how the killer in Malevolence becomes so, well, malevolent.

Bereavement is a very slow burn of a movie and for me, it never really caught fire. It does have plenty of things going for it, however. For starters, the movie has stunning cinematography and aptly creepy music which adds to the thick, heavy atmosphere that permeates the movie. This is a serious horror movie in which the consequences are very real. There are no stupid jokes here to help lighten the mood, folks, this is old school torture horror. There's even violence to children in this film, it's so doggone dark. But, like I said, the consequences are real and the violence is no joke.

My biggest problem with Bereavement is that I just didn't care for any of the characters. Michael Biehn and his entire family just didn't do it for me. I don't know why, but that's the truth of it. So, when things turn from bad to worse, I didn't find myself caring much. I was thinking, "Man, this is a really long movie!"

So, that said, Bereavement is not a completely bad movie, just like it is not a really good movie. It has its good points and its bad. In fact, it's the most middle-of-the-road movie I've seen in a long time. In the end, I give Bereavement **1/2 out of *****.

Movie Review: Spiderhole

Let's start this review off by taking a look at the quote offered on Spiderhole's promo, "If you liked Hostel and Saw, you'll like Spiderhole." Oh those crazy editors, it's supposed to read, "If you like Hostel and Saw's grimy environments, then you MIGHT like Spiderhole."

Spiderhole is about four Brit thirty-something teenagers who are looking for a nice cozy and abandoned place to call home for a while. In other words, they're squatters. They happen upon this one place that seemingly looks perfect, but alas, is anything but. One by one, they're targeted and set upon by some behind-the-scenes madman.

So, these clowns, oh, I mean kids, start looking around the place that's going to be home. For some reason the greasy-haired leader doesn't want to search the place top to bottom, he says he scoped out the joint previously. Then, somebody opens a cabinet and blood-covered clothes and shoes fall out. Queue the "everybody freakout, we gotta get outta here, the leader convinces everybody to chill out and go to sleep" scene. Yeah, I mean, what's so bad about some blood covered clothing, right? Goodnight, see you in the morning. From this point on, Spiderhole starts slipping down the spiderhole.

As they wake up, they discover that somebody barred the door and now, they're trapped inside the building. Nevermind that when the one kid hits a window filled up with bricks that the bricks totally MOVE; he gives up and kicks the wall. Nevermind one girl gets a massive cut on her leg and you have no idea how or when she got it except when she tells the others she got it when looking in some other room she somehow explored while she never left our sight. Then, there's a horrible sequence that looks like segments of film got put together in the wrong sequence during editing. You're literally left asking, "is the killer in front of her or not? No, wait, now she's in a chair, no, now she's removing balusters, wait, wasn't the killer right in front of her a minute ago?"

Spiderhole is a film that had tremendous promise if it was done right, but sadly, it falls flat on its face. The trailer for this thing makes it look awesome, but sadly, it sucks big time. I hope this thing puts the final nail in the sadistic surgeon coffin bit, because it's starting to reek.


Spiderhole only gets * out of *****. Check out the preview below, but don't get caught in its web, this movie is pretty, pretty bad.

Short Film Review: The Water's Edge

If you please, I'm going to ask you to take out a piece of paper and a pencil or some other writing instrument. Now I want you to write down this name - Chris Thomas. Why am I asking you to do this? Because his short film, The Water's Edge, is so frickin' fantastic I have no doubt in the world that you're going to be seeing this kid's name on the big screen very, very soon. In fact, everybody that worked on this thing will have a very successful future in film if I have anything to say about it.

Chris contacted me the other day and asked if I would watch his film and give him a review and man, am I glad he did. The Water's Edge is stark, rife with tension and mesmerizing. The fact that he's just out of film school and this is what he came up with blows me away. Everything about this movie is on target, from the sparse but ever-so-effective sound design to the main character's emotional performance to the cinematography to the editing, everything works beautifully.

According to Chris, The Water's Edge is "set in an alternate vision of the future. Robert Stenuit struggles to survive alone in a dark barren environment while seeking human contact. However, he must avoid the threats that surround him. A visual interpretation of German literary romanticism, with elements of melancholy and the sublime. Influenced by the early sci-fi and horror films."

I can't begin to express just how powerful this short film is. It's a tale of one man's lonesome journey through a land of isolation and hopeful wanting. You see it on Robert's face, you feel it in the slate rock that covers the barren landscape where the only sounds he hears are the blowing wind and the crunching of the slate under his tattered shoes and you know it by sight because it's a feeling we've all felt at one time or another in our lives. 

The Water's Edge is currently playing in select film festivals so if you see it listed, GO SEE IT!! I give The Water's Edge an enthusiastic ***** out of *****. I just can't say how much I loved this film and if there's any justice in the world, we'll see a feature length version of this thing in the near future. Check out the trailer below.





The Water's Edge. Teaser Trailer (2011) from Chris Thomas (CT) on Vimeo.

A Lot of Catching Up to Do

I know I have a lot of catching up to do in terms of recent reviews, so to help save time for the time being, here's a quick run down of a few books and movies that I have recently read or seen, in no particular order:

Books

First, I'm completely hooked on Shana Hammaker's short story series, Twelve Terrifying Tales for 2011. There's not a month that goes by that I'm not waiting patiently for her next tale. Here's where we're at thus far with Shana's work:

Charlie - *****
Border Crossing - *****
North of Forks - *****
Metamorphosis - *****
Souls, Inc. - *****
Teeth: A Fable - *****

Next, here are a few other novels I've recently read:

Dark Fiction by David Kempf - ** - Kempf has a really good premise in this book but the sheer number of seven word sentences tends to make this a laborious read that make sit feel like he's dictating the story rather than letting it flow smoothly.

Ancient Awakening and Ancient Enemies (Volume 2) by Matthew Bryan Laube - ***1/2 and ***1/2 - I love Laube's Ancient series. His stories are fast paced, fun and exciting. They each could have easily gotten four stars if they had been edited a little better. Even still, I can't wait for the next chapter in this exciting tale.

Dead Sea by Brian Keene - **** - What more can I say about Brian Keene? He's awesome and Dead Sea doesn't disappoint on its promise of nasty zombie action.

Abominable by William Meikle - **1/2 - I loved the thought behind Meikle's short story, Abominable, but I really didn't like the narrator of this yarn.

Mister Slaughter by Robert McCammon - ***** - Another brilliant book from Mr. McCammon! In my opinion, one of the best writers working today.

Serial by Jack Kilborn and Jake Crouch - ****1/2 - What a fun, nasty little tale this one is!

Monster by A. Lee Martinez - ***1/2 - This was one of the funniest books I've read since Good Omens. The ending left me a little wanting but it was one heck of a fun ride getting there.

Star Wars: Death Troopers by Joe Schreiber - **** - Zombies in outer space, in the Star Wars universe... what else could an 80s-era teen ask for?

Movies

True Grit (2010) - ****
Paranormal Entity - **
House of Fears - ***
8213: Gacy House - **
Night of the Demons - ***
Suspect Zero - ***
Deadfall Trail - *
Blood Creek - *
Crimson Rivers - ****
Drive Angry - ****
Black Death - ****
Skyline - ***
Prowl - **
Monsters - ****
Pandorum - ***

CD Review: Sins of the Past by The Young Werewolves

First, I want to apologize to The Young Werewolves because they sent me this CD for review a while ago but due to some issues in my life I wasn't able to get the review up until now. Sins of the Past is the third album by the Philadelphia trio and like their previous effort, Cheat the Devil, they have churned out another excellent disc filled with rock-n-rollicking tunes.

To put it simply, Sins of the Past is fast, fun and the ideal CD for any horror-themed party. With songs like Zombie Prom, Twelve Steps to Rock N Roll, Midnight Monster Hop and their own rendition of Rock Lobster, there's no way to stop yourself from hitting the dance floor. They also stay true to their 50's rock inspiration on this album, especially in tunes like In the Shadows, The Dreamtime, Damned if You Dare and Hot Rod Burnin'. But without a doubt, their song Generation Breakdown is the star of this disc.


Sins of the Past sees The Young Werewolves musically maturing and evolving naturally into their prime. The disc is expertly produced, the songs are well written and brilliantly performed. Wolfman Nick Falcon, Jonny Wolf and the lovely Shewolf Dana Kain have produced one fine sounding CD and one of the best rockabilly records in the past year and a half. Great job guys!

Sins of the Past gets the full complement -- ***** out of *****. I just love this record! Pick up a copy and start dancing to the ghoulishly groovy sounds of THE YOUNG WEREWOLVES! AAAROOOOOOOOO!