Tuesday, March 09, 2010

DVD Review: 2012

I love end-of-the-world epics! And with 2012, we're expecting the be-all, end-all of Armageddon films, right? I mean, it's made by that dude who just loves to blow stuff up! No, not Michael Bay, that other guy, whatshisname, the guy who ruined Godzilla... Roland Emmerich, yeah that's him!

Well, I'm sad to say, he ruined the end of the world, too.

Here's the thing. This is the END OF THE WORLD (as we know it) we're talking about. This film has absolutely no emotion whatsoever. Plus, what's worse, it's filled with stupid WTF moments, like a guy who doesn't know how to fly a plane all of a sudden becoming a top gun pilot capable of avoiding falling buildings and flying through pinpricks of open space! Talk about being in the zone, WTF!?

This film is chock full of idiotic things like that. I can just imagine the screenplay for this film. It must read like this:

John Cusack falls into a crevice... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

John Cusack is underwater, unable to breathe... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

John Cusack is driving the 1972 Winebago 150 mph down a mountain, with a wall of fire nipping at his tailpipe... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

At the hour and a half point of the movie, I'm ready to turn this thing off... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, I... realize there's still over an hour of this drivel to go.

At the end of the day, here's hoping that when the end of the world does come, it's nowhere near as long or as torturous as watching this lump! 0 out of *****. Do you see that tagline at the top of the movie poster? Yeah, we WERE warned! We just didn't learn after The Thirteenth Floor, 10,000 BC, The Day After Tomorrow, etc., etc.

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