Movie Review: Clash of the Titans

Growing up as a teenager in the late 70s/80s, there were basically two movies that mattered - Star Wars and Clash of the Titans. While I loved Star Wars, Clash of the Titans always held a special place in my heart as one of my favorites of that era. So, I was filled with anticipation when I heard they were remaking one of my all-time favorites. The possibilities were endless, with modern film making technology capable of incredible feats, this was one film that would be vastly improved over the original, right? I mean, this is a no-brainer. They can't possibly screw this up, right? Uh, right?

Well, to call this movie Clash of the Titans is near to blasphemy in my opinion. This film, with all of its pomp and circumstance takes a giant, Kraken-sized crap all over the original. Not only does it completely disregard the mythology, but it turns it into an unbelievably lousy story.

Rife with crappy acting the likes you have never seen, this version of the film often has the look of a Sci-Fi Channel Saturday night feature. The public settings with all of the people look terrible, cheap and poorly executed. The Gods look like a bunch of hair metal rejects, and what can possibly be frightening about Hades' receding hairline? I mean, this thing is almost a joke. In many ways, the original was not only better, but it had better effects! If you have ever seen the History Channel's Clash of the Gods program, you'll wonder how a show on the History Channel can get their Gods so right and yet this multi-million dollar epic can't.

This film has way too many bad things going for it to list here. So instead, I'll focus on the one good thing it has to offer -- the Kraken. It seemed like all of the film's effect budget went into making the Kraken, and it was quite an impressive sight for all of it's two minutes of screentime.

If you have any love or respect for mythology, or if you have fond feelings for the original film, don't go see this new version of Clash of the Titans. You'll leave the theater very pissed!

Clash of the Titans gets ** out of *****.