Movie Review: Sucker Punch

Has there been a movie with more anticipation than Zak Snyder's Sucker Punch? I mean this movie is going to be like every fanboy's wet dream, right? You've seen the eye catching stills, you've watched the incredible looking trailer dozens of times and now the movie finally arrives and... well, hmmm.

This review is going to be a little different than my usual because I really don't know what to think about this film. I want to like it, I really do, and sometimes I do, but there is so much wrong with the movie that I find myself leaning the other way as well.

For starters, I thought the special effects were a little less special than I was expecting. Zak Snyder is sorta known for his visual prowess and all that but there's nothing here we haven't seen before and to be honest, a lot of these effects look pretty poorly done. The dragon, for one thing, looks far, far worse than say the dragon in Reign of Fire which was made nine frickin' years ago! The three giant Japanese warriors in the film's first battle sequence were also terribly animated. On the other hand, the part with the German steam soldiers was absolutely fantastic.

In the end, this film suffers from too much animation done way too poorly for my tastes. Now don't get me wrong, I like animation to a degree but it should not leave you thinking, "That's lousy CGI," while you're watching it.

As far as the story goes, there's a good premise here but I felt no connection with characters whatsoever. Sure, they were nice to look at, but at the end of the day I wasn't emotionally involved in Sucker Punch at all. It felt like I was just sitting there watching it. I hate to say it, but that's pretty much what I was expecting anyway, after all, Zak Snyder movies are more style than substance and by now we should all know that going in. What I was excited about was that this was going to be an audio and visual assault on the senses and ultimately while it was a spectacle, it was a poorly executed one.

Sadly, Sucker Punch gets **1/2 out of *****.

Book Review: Frankenstein Lives Again! by Donald F. Glut

Every so often, you can come across something that takes you back to a time when you were young and full of hope. A time when you looked at certain things with wide-eyed wonder. I can remember times like this, sitting alongside the creek, fishing pole in hand, chewing a huge wad of gum and a comic book or some other book sticking out of the back pocket of my pants. Odds are whatever book it was, it was swollen and warped to no end from being exposed to rain and God knows what else, but you know what? That book was special. It was your own personal escape to another place, another time, another world.

My reason for bringing this up is because as we age, that sense of wonder and excitement slowly degrades. Suddenly, we're adults and we have so much to worry about, we lose all appreciation for those tiny treasures. Well, as I was reading Frankenstein Lives Again! by Donald F. Glut, I have to say, those feelings came rushing back! Of course, I was reading this one on my Kindle, so needless to say, I wasn't sitting along the creek with it hanging out of my back pocket.

Frankenstein Lives Again! is unabashedly a fun book an one that sweeps you away just like those pulp books of yesteryear. And that's exactly what this book is -- pulp! It comes to us from Pulp 2.0, the brilliant publishing house that's striving to keep classics like this available for those of us looking for an escape to lands of adventure filled with busty beauties, evil professors, mad monsters and high flying adventure.

This is the first in a series of reprints labeled The New Adventures of Frankenstein, so there are many more supposedly in the pipeline and I for one am pretty thrilled about that. This is a fast and easy read that doesn't skimp on fast moving adventure. But, let's be frank, this is not Shakespeare (nor Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley for that matter) we're dealing with here, as some of the dialogue is kind of silly, but that's part of this genre's charm, isn't it? If you loved watching Saturday afternoon monster movies on television, or if you got excited every time Abbott and Costello Meet the Wolfman was on Sunday morning or if you were a fan of pulp stories of old, then you're going to love what Pulp 2.0 is doing and you're going to love Frankenstein Lives Again!

Now, on a side note, the copy I was given to review was a Kindle version of the book and it had an extraordinary amount of formatting flaws, but I am confident that by the time this book becomes available to the public that Pulp 2.0 will have these issues fixed.

That said, I had a blast enjoying the new adventures of Frankenstein and truly look forward to his and Pulp 2.0's upcoming adventures. I give Frankenstein Lives Again! **** out of *****.

Oh, and in case you need another reason to buy this book -- it only cost 99 cents for the Kindle!

Movie Review: Chain Letter

Chain Letter starts out extremely promising, but when I find myself not wanting to spoil the OPENING, that's when I know something went terribly wrong along the way. This story takes the old chain letter urban legend and gives it a nasty twist. If you don't pass the email chain letter to five others, you'll die within 24 hours. If you delete the chain letter, you die almost instantly! To boot, you got killed by some guy with a burned face using CHAINS, get it? Chain letter? Ugh!

Now, there are some pretty cool kill scenes in this movie, but this is one of those times when there's a ton of promise that gets wasted. This could have been a really good slasher film. Instead, we get a convoluted story, a group of 35-year old "teens" (none of which you really wind up liking), a ton of techno-terrorism theories and way too little of Brad Douriff. I mean, you have Brad Douriff in your movie, man, USE HIM, he's awesome!! I wonder who's brilliant idea it was to have the computer say "You've got chain letter email!"? Like the computer knows the difference between chain letters and regular email!

On a more positive note, I really liked the way the film was shot. The camera work and cinematography were pretty impressive and the look and sound design of the movie are well represented on blu ray. It's one of the more sparse blu ray discs I've ever seen as all it contains is the movie and the trailer, no special features to be found anywhere.

Like I said, this movie started out with a bang. The opening scene was expertly shot and really set a stage for the movie that it ultimately failed to live up to. At the end of the day, not much was revealed, too many questions were left unanswered and it wasn't good enough for me to care about finding out the answers should Chain Letter 2: The Missing Link (made up title) be made.

Chain Letter gets *1/2 out of *****. The one and a half stars go to Brad Douriff because he's AWESOME!!

Check out the trailer for Chain Letter below

DVD Review: Bikini Bloodbath Christmas

We've seen Bikini Bloodbath, Bikini Bloodbath Carwash and now, Thomas Edward Seymour and Jonathan Gorman bring us Bikini Bloodbath Christmas! This film continues the tradition founded in the first two to bring copious amounts of blood and boobies, but unlike the first two, this film has my hero -- Lloyd Kaufman -- in a hilarious cameo. It also features one of my other favorites, Debbie Rochon (although in a much less visible role than the first two features), so needless to say I would have watched anyway.

But what I loved the most about this film was the tour de force acting of one Mr. Dick Boland. Boland is a hilarious actor and he not only shows it here, but in Seymour's previous film, London Betty, as well. Also putting in a brilliantly funny job is Phil Hall, who plays a smarmy character named Gina Davis. I honestly don't know how this film got made because with those two guys acting like they do, I find it hard not to laugh just listening to how they talk.

Like the first two in the series, Bikini Bloodbath Christmas is not for the faint of heart, nor the overly religious, as it has a certain religious figure doing something nobody would ever imagine him doing. But that's how the minds of these guys work, and I for one, wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, how can a movie featuring an up-close visual of explosive diarrhea be bad?

While I did miss Debbie Rochon's lesbian Miss Johnson character, Phil Hall and Dick Boland made this movie irrevocably memorable for me. I give Bikini Bloodbath Christmas **** out of *****.

Check out the trailer below!



Or buy the DVD!!

Book Review: 33 A.D. by David McAfee

What if vampires were around when Jesus roamed the Jerusalem countryside? That's the premise we find in David McAfee's brilliant novel, 33 A.D. Now, I have to be honest. I bought this book for my Amazon Kindle not because I previously read Mr. McAfee's work, but because it was so damn inexpensive, I couldn't pass it up. I think I got it on sale for like 99 cents or something, but let me tell you, it was the best dollar I ever spent! This book is an action-packed extravaganza of entertainment.

McAfee's story introduces us to a society of vampires living in the age of Jesus. When one of the vampires decides to start following the teachings of this mysterious new Rabbi, the vampire elders send an assassin to dispatch the traitor and take out the Nazarene. What develops is an elaborate plot full of twists and turns that ensures the crucifixion of Jesus in what the vampires hope will eradicate his new threat. Filled with superb characters and crackling violence, this story doesn't relent until the final page is turned and once done, it leaves you wanting more. Thankfully, a sequel is in the works!

33 A.D. is hands-down one of my favorite reads of 2011 thus far. For a genre that's been all but drained of its blood, McAfee has managed to breathe some new life into it by concocting a fresh and original vision. Thanks for this excellent escape from reality Mr. McAfee, and I wait anxiously for your next chapter in this tale. 33 A.D. gets ***** out of *****.

Buy 33 A.D. for your Kindle for just $2.99 by clicking below!

Short Film Review: Gitchy

He'll make you laugh... till you DIE!! Now, how can you go wrong with a tag line like that? As writer/director Thomas Norman show us, you can't! Gitchy is a short horror/comedy that introduces us to a new independent horror icon, Gitchy the Clown. To be honest, I don't know what's more disturbing, Gitchy's look or the way he talks. When combined, this clown can be downright disturbing.

The plot goes like this: Since the untimely death of their parents, David and Kimberly have had a rough time of it. David has been experiencing mental breakdowns and visions of a 400-pound killer clown. In fact, he believes that his parents were tickled to death by the clown. Kimberly does her best to help David and even gets him professional help, but nothing stops his disturbing dreams. Eventually, everyone connected to David finds out that Gitchy the Clown is all too real.



Gitchy is a very well-made short film. The cinematography is excellent, the sound design is impressive and the pacing is spot on, especially for such a low-budget film and one that clocks in at 32 minutes to boot. The actors do their best, but it's ultimately Gitchy, played by Greg Gale, who steals the show. I think what was most impressive was that Norman took a bare-bones approach to his film, keeping blood and guts to a minimum while upping the ew-factor in more creative ways, like Gitchy's use of whipped cream and the ensuing toe lick. That scene still makes me shudder when I think about it.

All in all, I really liked this short film. It made me laugh, it made me shutter and perhaps most surprisingly, it made me feel like I watched a full length movie. It will be interesting to see what Thomas Norman and his crew do once they expand to long-form film. Gitchy tickles **** out of *****.

Check out the Gitchy trailer:

Movie Review: The Crazies (2010)

The Crazies is a remake of the 1973 George Romero classic of the same name. Unfortunately, like so many modern remakes, it has very big shoes to fill and it was birthed with tiny baby feet. While not an absolutely terrible movie by a long shot, the 2010 model of The Crazies just feels lackluster, boring and predictable. Also like so many of the modern remakes, it's a slicker, shinier variation of a film that's better off a little grittier and dirtier.

In this version, the residents of the tiny town of Ogden Marsh, Iowa are besieged by an unseen and unknown catalyst that's turning normal, everyday Joes and Janes into bloodthirsty maniacs. The military quickly comes in to try and maintain control and only serves to make matters worse.

The Crazies stars Timothy Olyphant and Silent Hill's Radha Mitchell and they work well as a husband and wife team. Also putting in a nice performance is Joe Anderson as Deputy Clank. Good acting aside, the film suffers from way too many cliches and last second heroics. There's never any sense of real tension and there's only one death that sorta catches you by surprise. The film does have some nice choreography and visuals but that doesn't save this film from just being ho-hum.

Needless to say, I wasn't crazy about the 2010 remake of The Crazies. It gets ** out of *****.

Movie Review: Vindication

OK, let's talk about escalation. You know that escalating fear you get when you think something is going to happen? It's a feeling in the gut and a tension in the shoulders that tells you something bad is coming up? The tension builds and builds until you can practically no longer stand it. This is exactly the feeling one gets when watching Bart Mastronardi's directorial debut, Vindication.

I'm telling you, I have never felt a movie escalate quite like this one. It is INTENSE! And when it finally comes time for the cork to pop, boy does it!

Vindication is a brilliant portrayal of the darkness and guilt that resides in each one of us and how if damaged enough from the rigors of a terrible life, someone could be susceptible to horrifying actions.

After young Nicolas Bertram attempts suicide, he starts to experience severe guilt, hallucinations and nightmares. He's constantly being prodded by an eyeless, white-faced demon for him to act upon his guilt. Throughout the film, we see the constant struggle Nicolas endures until it gets to the point that he can no longer stand it.

Mastronardi paces the film marvelously, each scene building tension upon the one previous. The film starts with barely any music, and it too escalates as it progresses. I don't know if this was done intentionally or not, but man, it has an incredible impact when you're watching it. And speaking of the music, the score is absolutely fantastic. It completes and accentuates the film perfectly.

Now let's talk acting. Jerry Murdock, Alan Rowe Kelly, Zoe Daelman Chlanda are all excellent in their supporting roles, as are the rest of the cast. But, Keith Fraser's portrayal of Nicolas Bertram was something to see. His expressions and mannerisms screamed torture and his suicide attempt scene in the bathtub was unbelievably intense. It was an unbelievable performance to say the least.

As writer, director and producer of Vindication, Bart Mastronardi has proved himself an incredible talent. He's created a truly unique horror story that doesn't compromise intelligence for gore, although it does have plenty of the red stuff! An incredible debut, I highly recommend Vindication and can't wait to see what's next. Vindication stabs ****1/2 out of *****.

Check out the trailer for Vindication here!

Movie Review: The Human Centipede

In the last 10 to 15 years, with the success of the Saw and Hostel films, many horror movies have fallen under the moniker "torture porn," in which various people are violently and graphically manipulated through numerous inventive methods. But while these films explode on the screen with blood, guts and relative carnage, are they really scary? OK, the Hostel films do carry a certain "this could really happen" type of fright to them, but they're made more for the gore than psychological terror. So, where does The Human Centipede fall into the mix?

The Human Centipede is not gory. It's not even scary. But, it's one of the most effective horror films of the last 10 years. How can that be? Because this film sits with you long after you see it. The events that transpire are truly horrific. And it's bolstered by the fact that what happens is quite medically possible.

The film centers on two young American girls traveling through Germany. On their way to a party, their car gets a flat on an isolated, wooded road. Rather than stay in their car and wait for a helpful passerby who's not a pervert, they head off into the woods in the pouring rain. They come upon a nice looking house out in the middle of nowhere. It's here they meet Dr. Heiter (brilliantly played by Dieter Laser), a renowned surgeon who specializes in separating conjoined twins.

Herr Doctor isn't quite right in the head as he is planning on using his special talents for joining people these days rather than separating them. And just how does he join them? Ass to mouth! Oh, the humanity!

The Human Centipede is one of those movies that you have to see to believe. You will find yourself recommending it to everybody you know, but you probably won't want to watch it a second time. It's a brilliant example of a true horror movie. ***** out of *****. Check out the trailer below!

Movie Review: A Far Cry From Home

Holy moly! Where do I begin? A Far Cry From Home is the latest short film from the magnificent Allan Rowe Kelly and it's one of four films included in the Gallery of Fear horror anthology created by Kelly and Anthony G. Sumner. And what a film it is!

A Far Cry From Home centers on a young, gay couple (played by Kelly and Don Money) who stop at a creepy antiques store while taking a shortcut through the wooded backroads of New Jersey. Unbeknown to the couple, the place is inhabited by a family of uber-Christian hillbillies with a severe hatred for people of alternative lifestyles.

Expertly acted, brilliantly paced and incredibly brutal and thought-provoking, A Far Cry From Home is not only Kelly's best film yet, but one can only imagine the havoc he could wreck with a larger budget. This film, small budget aside, has some of the most amazing environments and blood-soaked effects of any independent film I've ever seen.

As usual, this film shares many of the traits of previous Kelly films, like The Blood Shed and I'll Bury You Tomorrow, including expert cinematography, a spine-tingling soundtrack and a stellar cast. In fact, Jerry Murdock puts so much into his character, I have to believe he went home physically and mentally exhausted at the end of each day of filming.

A Far Cry From Home is intense and definitely packs a punch. The film is a testament to what people of alternative lifestyles have to deal with from close-minded people (who happen to make up the vast majority these days). While over-the-top and wrapped in a horror movie setting, it's definitely a statement of the times. Bravo, Alan for having the guts to make this film... and for making it so damn good!

A Far Cry From Home gets ***** out of *****. Check out the trailer below!

DVD Review: Banshee!!!

I love monster movies, so when I saw the trailer the other day for Banshee!!! (that's right, with three exclamation points), I put it right at the top of my Netflix queue. It arrived yesterday and I had a chance to watch it last night. It was just as I had expected.

Banshee!!! is a fun monster movie that never takes itself too seriously while providing some really decent kill effects that you wouldn't expect from this low-budget of a film. The acting's not that bad either, with Kevin Shea putting in a very credible job. Sure, the rank and file actors aren't the greatest at their craft but that doesn't matter here.

The film follows a group of old-looking college students who go the cheap route and choose to take their spring break out in the woods. Well, it doesn't take long before they're being shredded one by one by a creature that has the ability to shape-change and alter their perception. The computer-generated banshee creature is decent, when it's not the focal point of the scene that is. Shown up up close and personal, it's kind of lame (as the cover proves), but when it's in the background or just off to the side, it's definitely more effective.

The film isn't without its absurdities, like one of the guys having to stop and take a piss with the banshee hot on their tails, or when the aptly-named Rocker kicks the banshee's ass with rock and roll during a music video-like action sequence (which I thought was AWESOME!).

All in all, Banshee!!! delivered exactly what it was selling, and I like it when a film does that. I'm sure other reviewers will pan this movie, but I give it **** out of *****.

Movie Review: The Reeds

The Reeds is a British horror movie that was featured as part of this year's AfterDark Horrorfest. I finally got around to watching it and well, it's one of those rare films that require two days to really watch it. Why two days, you ask?

Because I fell asleep midway through the first viewing.

Yes, The Reeds really is that boring of a movie. It also features characters that you really don't care about and at times, you find yourself wondering "what the hell's going on?"

The Reeds is about a group of 20-something Brits who plan to spend the day cruising through the reeds of the Norfolk Broads. Eventually, their day of smoking and cavorting turns into a nightmare after they get lost among the reeds and their boat runs aground. The group is terrorized by a gang of young punks (or are they?) as well as being hunted by the killer fisherman (sans hook) from the I Know What You Did Last Summer films. It all comes to a head in an ending that felt like it was just thrown together. It was like the filmmaker's opened the Big Book of Movie Cliches and said, "Yeah, let's go with that one! It's only been used 88,958 times so far!"

The Reeds is a crappy movie and for the life of me I don't know why it was included in the AfterDark Horrorfest as it wasn't the least bit scary. Not recommended (unless you're an insomniac, then it'll work wonders for you!). 0 out of *****.

Book Review: Plague of the Dead by Z. A. Recht

Zombies are, and have been for some time now, all the rage in the horror genre. From books to movies, the undead are enjoying more success now than at any time in pop culture history. But, with so many variations on a theme, they can't all be good. And this brings us to Plague of the Dead by Z. A. Recht.

Plague of the Dead tells the tale of the zombie apocalypse, how it begins and the tough S.O.B.s that stand on the front lines of the war. Unfortunately, everything in this book is so cliched that at times, I wanted to hurl the book across the room. I'm telling you, there were times I had to close the book in mid-sentence, close my eyes and pray for patience. And this is coming from someone who loves over-the-top, B-grade horror! This book was the single hardest book for me to get through in years.

The story starts out promising enough, but once the Marines come into the picture, forget about it, it's all down hill from there. The dialogue was contrived and stereotypical. It was like all of these guys were withdrawing from steroids or something. And, why fill the book with so many characters whose names start with the letter D? Between the terrible "Marine dialogue" and trying to keep track of all of these similarly-named characters, it was just too much. Not to mention that there is not a single character who's appealing to the reader. When a character dies, who cares? Not me. It's a tough sell when you wish the zombies would take out the supposed good guys because the good guys are all such assholes.

Need another reason I didn't care for this tale of woe? The book is filled with WTF? moments. For instance, there's once scene where the Marines are trying to get into a gun shop because during a reconnaissance, they learned that there were some really old MREs and weapons available in the shop's basement. The leader of the group's like, "We have to get that food if we want to survive!" My first thought was - doesn't this town have a grocery store? I mean, with millions dead (and it all happened so quickly), the grocery aisles should be pretty clear and relatively well-stocked, don't you think?

But the biggest problem with Plague of the Dead is that it doesn't end here. This is the first in a series. If you really, really, really love zombie stories and you won't feel complete unless you see and read every last one of them, then by all means, pick up Plague of the Dead. But, as for me, this was the first book that caused me mental and physical anguish.

Plague of the Dead gets 0 out of *****.

Movie Review: Clash of the Titans

Growing up as a teenager in the late 70s/80s, there were basically two movies that mattered - Star Wars and Clash of the Titans. While I loved Star Wars, Clash of the Titans always held a special place in my heart as one of my favorites of that era. So, I was filled with anticipation when I heard they were remaking one of my all-time favorites. The possibilities were endless, with modern film making technology capable of incredible feats, this was one film that would be vastly improved over the original, right? I mean, this is a no-brainer. They can't possibly screw this up, right? Uh, right?

Well, to call this movie Clash of the Titans is near to blasphemy in my opinion. This film, with all of its pomp and circumstance takes a giant, Kraken-sized crap all over the original. Not only does it completely disregard the mythology, but it turns it into an unbelievably lousy story.

Rife with crappy acting the likes you have never seen, this version of the film often has the look of a Sci-Fi Channel Saturday night feature. The public settings with all of the people look terrible, cheap and poorly executed. The Gods look like a bunch of hair metal rejects, and what can possibly be frightening about Hades' receding hairline? I mean, this thing is almost a joke. In many ways, the original was not only better, but it had better effects! If you have ever seen the History Channel's Clash of the Gods program, you'll wonder how a show on the History Channel can get their Gods so right and yet this multi-million dollar epic can't.

This film has way too many bad things going for it to list here. So instead, I'll focus on the one good thing it has to offer -- the Kraken. It seemed like all of the film's effect budget went into making the Kraken, and it was quite an impressive sight for all of it's two minutes of screentime.

If you have any love or respect for mythology, or if you have fond feelings for the original film, don't go see this new version of Clash of the Titans. You'll leave the theater very pissed!

Clash of the Titans gets ** out of *****.

Movie Review: Shutter Island

I'm going to start this review by saying that I've never been much of a Martin Scorsese fan. Or Leonardo DiCaprio for that matter and since they pretty much only work with each other, I haven't had the pleasure of seeing many of their collaborations, which is tallying upwards of around 40 or so, right? Well, Shutter Island, a film about psychopaths locked up on an island, I just couldn't ignore.

Shutter Island is shot extremely well. The style harkens back to the golden age of movies, when men smoked a lot of cigarettes and said things like, "What, are you a wiseguy? Keep it shut, she!" The design of the movie, the score, the screenplay -- it all adds up to a spectacular re-visting of detective noir movies from the 40s and 50s.

Having said that, the film suffers due to two major influences -- Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo. These two don't look comfortable at all working with each other and when they're on the screen together, it looks like two schmoes playing detective. Ruffalo looks bored just being involved and DiCaprio looks like he's trying to get an Oscar video bite out of each second with his ruffled brow and steely-eyed glare. The supporting cast is just great however. It's unfortunate that Scorsese couldn't look beyond his man-love for DiCaprio and get somebody a little better for this particular role. Case in point, John Carroll Lynch, the actor who portrays Deputy Warden McPherson, is miles better and more believable and entertaining in his miniscule role than both Ruffalo and DiCaprio are in theirs.

The film does have its share of twists and turns, it just takes an extremely long time getting there and by the time the end comes, you're just glad the marathon is over. At the end of the day, Shutter Island feels over-expanded and exhausting. I give Shutter Island **1/2 out of *****.

Movie Review: Lake Mungo

Lake Mungo is one of the films featured in 2010's Afterdark Horror Filmfest. But, don't think that this one is a scare-your-pants-off monster movie. Lake Mungo is barely a whisper of a horror film that relies on the pure emotional distress of losing a child. And that is where the heart of the "horror" lies in this film. Sure, there's a ghost story tied in here, but that was, to me, a sidetrack to the real horror displayed here.

Lake Mungo is an Australian faux-documentary on the accidental death of 16-year old Alice Palmer and how her death impacted her family. All of the actors here are incredibly believable and if one wasn't already aware that this is, in fact, fiction, it would be easy to believe that what we are seeing is real.

Not long after Alice's death, strange things begin occurring at her family's house. Her brother, Matthew, catches odd images in his pictures and videos that lead the family to believe that their daughter is either still alive or haunting their home.

As the movie progresses, the family discovers things about their daughter that they never knew. This is where the film took a turn for me as many of the "discoveries" were extremely convenient and in truth, didn't add anything to the film. If anything, it stole some of the fire from the family's plight.

Lake Mungo was a disturbing movie, no, maybe "unsettling" is a better word to describe this movie, especially if you have a teenager of your own. But, for those looking for a strong ghost story, look elsewhere. I give Lake Mungo *** out of *****.

DVD Review: The Good Sisters

The other day, I received a screener for the film The Good Sisters. The insert that was included with the disc, proudly proclaiming that what I held in my hands was the hot, psycho-sexual director's cut of the movie. Well, it had my attention, that's for sure! But while watching the film, I was sort of taken aback, but not in the way you might think.

The Good Sisters is the latest film by Jimmyo Burril and it stars his wife, April Monique Burril (of Chainsaw Sally fame) and iconic scream queen, Debbie Rochon. While I was prepared for film to be highly sexual, what I wasn't prepared for was for the film to be as good as it wound up being. In fact, for all the sexual proclamations, the particularly hot scene in question is near the end of the film and it fits perfectly within the context of the movie. This is not a movie filled with gratuitous nudity as one might imagine.

The Good Sisters is a film about two sisters, Breanne and Kindra, who are 10th generation descendants of a witch. With their kind being hunted and persecuted for hundreds of years, the girls live in a constant state of paranoia, which is heightened when they start to believe that one of their neighbors is a witch hunter. In fact, they start to question everyone who lives around them in their small apartment complex. The paranoia is fed when the sisters find messages like, "Suffer not a witch to live" and "We are watching you" written in chalk near their home. As one watches the film, you do start to question which one of these apartment dwellers are responsible for the psychological attacks. Without divulging too much, eventually, the suspicion gets the most of the sisters and they turn to their craft for help.

The first thing about this film you notice is how comfortable Debbie and April are working with each other, and this comfort is significant in lending their sisterhood a believable feel. Also realistic is the film's use of witchcraft. I was impressed with the authenticity of the spells (actual spells were used in the film), and it's portrayal of the modern day witch was spot on.

As I watched The Good Sisters, I was continually impressed with how Jimmo crafted this film. He must have put in many hours of research before he even wrote a single line of this script, and that level of dedication definitely comes through.

I'll tell you what, even the film's soundtrack is perfectly suited for it, as it constantly keeps one feeling a little on edge throughout the movie, much like the characters on screen. Funny how big budget Hollywood films about witchcraft are so overblown and unrealistic, yet this little gem made on a shoestring budget can be so authentic.

That's the big difference here, folks, and this is why independent films will forever be my favorite type of film to watch. From Jimmo and April to Debbie and rest of the gang, they worked hard to get it right, and in The Good Sisters, that work pays off!

The Good Sisters gets ****1/2 out of *****. The director's cut of The Good Sisters will be available on April 27, 2010, so go out and get a copy!

DVD Review: Carriers

The other day, I reviewed the end-of-the-world spectacle, 2012, in which I had mentioned that there was no emotional feeling in regards to the devastation that was occurring all around the characters. Here, in Carriers, we have another such film where only a few survivors are left after a terrible plague hits the planet. Let's see how this one pans out.

First, let me start off by saying, Carriers portrays a much more realistic vision of what can happen to people put in this situation (for the most part). Trust issues arise. Decisions have to be made between helping others or leaving them to fend for themselves. That said, the movie is still really lacking something. And for me, it all has to do with the characters.

My biggest complaint is with the character played by Chris Pine. This guy rubs me the wrong way, and if I were one of the last few left on the planet, I would probably eventually have to kill him off. I would say, "This here world is mighty big now that we're the only ones left. Even still, there's no room for assholes." KABLAMMO! Of course, when I utter my memorable line, I say it with Sam Elliott's voice so it's more authentic. The characters you care for the most, the dad with the little sick girl, should have been the focus of this movie instead of the four deuchebags we're left watching.

Besides the characters, the film's other downfall is that it leaves a ton of loose ends all throughout the movie, which I won't go into for spoiler reasons. But, it also doesn't explain much either. For example -- who is the second girl, where did they pick her up and why won't she tell them her last name? Why, after the one guy shoots a dog that was eating a corpse, does he not get infected after the blood gets all over him? How can a big gas-guzzling SUV drive across the desert on a single can of gas? How did the plague start? Why is Chris Pine's character still alive? Why, after cleaning a car's interior with liquid bleach, is no one's clothing faded? How can the guys in truck NOT see the protagonist's bonfire in the pitch black night of the desert? And who were the guys in the truck? There are just too many improbabilities here!

You know what, the more I think about it, the less I like this movie. It's better than 2012, not that that's saying much, but not by far. I give Carriers ** out of *****.

Movie Review: Dead Snow

The snow's just about all melted here in South Jersey and Spring is right around the bend, so I thought there's no better time than now to check out Dead Snow.

Dead Snow is a Norwegian zombie pic that has its tongue set firmly in cheek. The story follows a group of twenty-somethings as they head out into the mountains for a vacation of snow games, beer and sex. While waiting on the cabin's owner, Sara, to make her way across the mountain on foot, the rest of the group arrive at the cabin early and in the meantime have an encounter with an old grizzled local who proceeds to warm them about the "evil that lurks in these mountains."

He goes on to tell them the story of a group of Nazis who terrorized the town during World War II. Eventually, the locals had enough of the torture and revolted against the Germans. Most of the Nazis were killed, but a group escaped into the mountains, including their general, Herzog. Local legend has it that the Nazis are still up in those hills, killing and torturing any and all who they happen across. Of course, the kids think nothing of it and the old guy goes on his way. Why Sara's family never knew about the evil presence right outside their cabin door is unknown, but I digress.

Anyway, what we wind up having is a group of Norwegian kids taking on droves of Nazi zombies in a blood-filled homage to many a horror film, most notably, the Evil Dead.

Dead Snow is not perfect by any means, but its positives greatly outweigh its negatives. The film is beautifully shot, nicely acted and the gory effects are just fantastic. Overall, the movie was just plain fun to watch.

Dead Snow gets **** out of *****.

DVD Review: 2012

I love end-of-the-world epics! And with 2012, we're expecting the be-all, end-all of Armageddon films, right? I mean, it's made by that dude who just loves to blow stuff up! No, not Michael Bay, that other guy, whatshisname, the guy who ruined Godzilla... Roland Emmerich, yeah that's him!

Well, I'm sad to say, he ruined the end of the world, too.

Here's the thing. This is the END OF THE WORLD (as we know it) we're talking about. This film has absolutely no emotion whatsoever. Plus, what's worse, it's filled with stupid WTF moments, like a guy who doesn't know how to fly a plane all of a sudden becoming a top gun pilot capable of avoiding falling buildings and flying through pinpricks of open space! Talk about being in the zone, WTF!?

This film is chock full of idiotic things like that. I can just imagine the screenplay for this film. It must read like this:

John Cusack falls into a crevice... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

John Cusack is underwater, unable to breathe... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

John Cusack is driving the 1972 Winebago 150 mph down a mountain, with a wall of fire nipping at his tailpipe... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

At the hour and a half point of the movie, I'm ready to turn this thing off... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, I... realize there's still over an hour of this drivel to go.

At the end of the day, here's hoping that when the end of the world does come, it's nowhere near as long or as torturous as watching this lump! 0 out of *****. Do you see that tagline at the top of the movie poster? Yeah, we WERE warned! We just didn't learn after The Thirteenth Floor, 10,000 BC, The Day After Tomorrow, etc., etc.