DVD Review: Fear of Clowns

Fear of Clowns is a worthwile horror film. While it's not great, there were some very good aspects to it. It was directed really well, acted decent enough, and it had a really sinister looking clown. The black eyes really did it. I can't go on and say that it was "terrifying" or "frightening", but it was an entertaining horror movie. I mean, come on, I haven't seen a truly "terrifying" horror film since I was eight! Those reviewers that say those things have been watching too many Jennifer Aniston movies. There's already a sequel in the works and for that I'm glad, they deserve it. The story is about a woman who paints clowns and is divorcing her husband. Let's just say it's not the most peaceful breakup. Oh yeah, and there's a sinister clown with black eyes! There's also a very good "making of" segment on the disc that really takes you into the problems that some of these independent filmmakers have to go through. I give it **** out of *****.

DVD Review: Joshua

The cover screams "I'll swallow your soul! I'll swallow your soul!". Uh, different movie. This is the latest offering from Fangoria's Gorezone line of films and it's not bad. The director thinks he's Hitchcock with all the queer angles and closeup camera work, but it does add to the quirkiness of the film. The film is about a group of friends that did a terrible thing while growing up and when one comes home for his father's funeral, it sets off a chain of events, none of them good. The ending was a surprise, I'll give it that. This was another one that tended to drag in places, but it was engaging enough to see it through to the bitter end. I give Joshua ***1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Pulse

What the hell is this?! Supposed to be the scariest film of the year?! This was the worst Japanese horror film I've ever seen! It's boring, it's too dark in spots, the sound is muffled and the picture is grainy and that's only a few things that are wrong with this picture. There's an American remake coming out this year and all I can say is "Why?!". The face on the front is never in the movie, not unless it is one of the extremely dark scenes and that means you'll never see it anyway. The movie is about death, and how lonely we are and...oh who cares! It feels like it's four hours long! It just plods and plods and plods. Stay away. 0 out of *****.

DVD Review: 3 Extremes

It's been a long time between reviews, but I'm back! And I wish I had a better movie for you to watch. 3 Extremes, while not terrible, was a disappointing viewing experience. I've come to expect the unexpected while watching Japanese horror and frankly, this movie didn't cut it. It's actually three short movies on one disc, with the second disc holding a longer version of one of the shorts, titled "Dumplings". All three films were directed nicely, one each by Miike Takashi, Fruit Chan, and Park Chanwook. Surprisingly, Miike's film titled "The Box" was the worst of the lot. Chanwook's offering, "Cut", was probably the most entertaining and the full version of "Dumplings" by Fruit Chan was the best overall. Never scary, and worse yet, never extreme, these three are decent films that should have been packaged under a different anthology. There's a second helping of 3 Extremes being released next month, hopefully they are a little more extreme than these three. I give it **1/2 out of *****.