Congratulations Jonathan Maberry

Congrats to Jonathan Maberry for winning the Bram Stoker Award for his incredible debut novel Ghost Road Blues. The book certainly is deserving of its win in the Best First Novel category.

I absolutely loved the book and I'm so glad it won as it really was the best book I read last year. This year, we'll be picking the award-winning story back up as Dead Man's Song is released later this year. I, for one, can't wait!

You can find out more about this amazing new author by visiting his website Ghost Road Blues.

Book Review: The Shadow Killer by Matthew Scott Hansen

Anybody who knows me, knows that I love everything Bigfoot! I love watching documentaries, I constantly check bfro.net for sightings and reports, I dig watching Bigfoot movies (as you'll see with my upcoming review of Abominable) even if they're not too great. So you can imagine my eyes lighting up as I walked through my neighborhood Barnes and Noble Bookstore and I caught sight of this book. I have to admit, however, I was skeptical of the book because of the cover, but as the old adage goes, you can't judge. I literally flew through this book. There was a ton of action, suspense and good old fashioned gore! Matthew Scott Hansen has written a stellar debut that doesn't fail to deliver. Even with an ending you know is coming, you can't help but be swept into the action. The plot follows the drastic efforts of Ty Greenwood, a former software genius who is forever changed after his run-in with one of the legendary creatures. His life is in shambles and he is on the verge of losing his family and ending his life. It's not until people start disappearing that he begins to put two and two together. His life takes on a new frantic meaning as he sets out to prove the creature's existence. This is one fun rollercoaster ride of a novel! You can really get a sense of Hansen's love and appreciation of Bigfoot on every page. I will definitely be keeping an eye out for future novels written by this talented new writer. **** out of *****.

DVD Review: Murder-Set-Pieces

Unfortunately, I had the displeasure of watching the "R" rated version of Nick Palumbo's supposed modern horror classic. While I haven't seen the unrated version everyone is fussing about, I do know that it's only 2 minutes longer than this version. I'll tell you right now, it needs more than 2 minutes to fix this thing up. As for the plot, basically the film looks into the mind of a sadistic serial killer. The killer is a neo-nazi photographer prowling the streets of Las Vegas for unsuspecting young women to become his next victims. I'm truly at a loss. There is sooo much buzz about this movie, but I just don't see why. The acting is atrocious and the direction is sub-par to say the least. I have half a mind to check out the unrated version to make sure, but I really don't know if I can sit through this entire movie again just to catch the two minutes that were cut. If I do, I'll post a re-review of the unrated version, but for the R version you can forget it. It sucks. * out of *****.

DVD Review: Saw 3

So, first we see the return of Leatherface and now we have the return of Jigsaw. Saw 3 picks up right where Saw 2 left off, and boy, are we treated to some nice gore in this one! Plenty of blood, guts and body parts to go around. Whereas TCM: The Beginning lacked originality, the Saw series continues to bring a high level of quality to it's films. Well made and acted, Saw 3 is a very good film overall. Nobody can bring a film together at the end like these guys. I just love the way all the clues to the film are exposed during the final moments. In the latest (not the last) film in the series, we find Jigsaw on his deathbed, his cancer taking its toll. His protege Amanda is trying her hardest to keep the game going but can she really match Jigsaw's purity in his work? This chapter starts out fast and keeps the blood dripping up until the very end. Another successful trip into Jigsaw's game. ****1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Platinum Dunes. Love them or hate them? True: They are one of the most prolific purveyors of horror in today's cinema houses. True: They bring classic favorites and update them for today's audience. True: These movies tend to suck! TCM The Beginning starts off well enough as we find out how the Hewitt clan came to be the loving, caring cannibals that we all adore. We see the birth of Leatherface, literally and figuratively. That's all well and good, but at the end of the day, this movie had nothing new to bring to the operating table. It seems the director had a fetish for bloody hands because that's really all the gore we get to see. It doesn't hold up to the TCM standards that the original set down. Even the original's remake was a better film than this one. While not totally terrible, I just feel that the franchise deserved better. I also didn't care for how the updated version of Leatherface has the body of a bodybuilder, that's not realistic to me. I would be more frightened by a big burly round guy that's seriously demented than an adonis in a face wrap. Oh yeah, and the ending is traditional Platinum Dunes absurdity. How in the world does a guy that size get in a small car without making a sound or making the car move? Thanks Platinum Dunes. Thanks for nothing. ** out of *****.

DVD Review: Live Feed

Cover looks pretty cool, huh? Too bad the movie doesn't live up to the cover. Oh, it's not all bad, as a matter of fact, there were a few scenes that were constructed really well, but as a result of extremely poor acting and lame characters, this film suffers. Live Feed follows a group of young Americans, vacationing in the Orient, who happen to make enemies with the local bad guy. A man so bad, that his acting looks inspired by the Chairman on Iron Chef, the Japanese version. It wouldn't have surprised me to see him whip out a yellow bell pepper and take a bite! Anyway, after being saved from certain death by a young oriental man, the group heads off to the local sex shop. Unwittingly, they fall into the hands of the Chairman from Iron Chef, the Japanese version, as the sex shop is his own personal entertainment spot. By entertainment, I mean kill zone. What we ultimately have here is a poor man's Hostel. While it's not terrible, it shouldn't be too hard to find something better at your local video store. Live Feed gets ** out of *****.

Book Review: 30 Days of Night-Rumours of the Undead by Steve Niles & Jeff Mariotte

The latest chapter of Steve Niles' wildly popular 30 Days of Night series comes in the form of this new paperback book. In this part, we find an FBI partnership gone sour when one of the duo gets turned into a vampire. As Andy Gray tries to determine what happened to his partner, he slips into a deep sea of despair, wallowing in liquor, cigarettes and his ex-partner's old lady. As you can imagine, that doesn't go over too well with his toothy pal. Believe me when I say payback's a bitch! Agent Gray heads back to where it all began--Barrow, Alaska--to try to figure things out and gather information needed to uncover the vampire society. The residents there are fully prepared for another vampire attack, but is Andy Gray prepared for the revelations that he will uncover? Niles and Mariotte have crafted a fine vampire tale with it's own share of terribly wonderful visualizations. While it's a little short on vampire action for my taste, it's still a quick read with a nice character driven story and let's face it, Niles has come up with the best vampire series since Stephen King wrote a little story about Jerulsalem's Lot. I give Rumours of the Undead **** out of *****.

DVD Review: See No Evil

See No Evil brings yet another WWE wrestler into the horror genre with The Big Red Machine, also known as Kane, starring in this slasher flick. I have to say, he's a perfect fit for this role. As Jacob Goodnight, Kane turns out as ruthless and violent a villain as I've seen in recent years. The way he smacks the one girl into the door frame as he's carrying her out of the room made my heart leap with joy. Finally a killer to be taken seriously! Kane's nearly wordless performance was spot on, even if everyone else in the film was annoying. The story follows a group of juveniles that have to clean up and repair an old hotel as part of their punishment. Unbenknownst to them, somebody is living in the dilapidated hotel. Oh yeah, it turns out the man in charge of the juveniles is none other than the old cop who lost his hand to Goodnight years prior. Yeah, it does sound silly, but believe me, it's fun to watch and you forget about the little annoyances when Kane's a-killin. A nice little slasher flick to warm up to on a chilly night with Kane more than making up for Triple H's disastrous role in Blade 3! I give See No Evil **** out of *****.

The Report of My Demise Has Been Greatly Exagerrated

Yes, faithful readers, I still live. (Some may weep joyous tears, while others I'm afraid to say may be raising their fists in the air while muttering "Curses!") I haven't been able to post any reviews in quite a stretch of time due to various job situations, but never fear, the reviews will be back starting tomorrow. A few that I have on tap are:

See No Evil

30 Days of Night: Rumours of the Undead by Steve Niles

Live Feed

Fears in the Water by The Vincent Black Shadow

and many more.

Stay tuned fiends, it's gonna be a bloody ride!

--D

DVD Review: Slither

Slither marks the directorial debut of James Gunn, the writer of the first Scooby Doo Movie as well as various Troma films and I must say, I really dug it! It's cleverly written, well acted and you just can't help but sit back and smile as the legion of slimy little creatures run amok, turning people into zombie-style abominations. This film is what every throwback to the old campy sci-fi films should be. The story starts with a meteorite landing in the woods outside a small town. A local guy happens to find the egg that was on board and he gets "infected". He, in turn, spreads the wealth while undergoing some physical changes. It's up to the newly elected police chief to stop the madness. The film stars Nathan Fillion (Firefly, Serenity) and he does a smack up job! The bonuses on the disc are great and numerous. If I could watch a film like Slither every Saturday night, boy wouldn't it be great! Thanks Mr. Gunn. ***** out of *****.

Book Review: Into The Fire by Richard Laymon

Richard Laymon writes the kind of fiction that would be sold at a fast food joint. You know it's not good for you but damn if it's not tasty! A guilty pleasure if there ever was one, Laymon's stories are filled with gratuitous sex and overflowing violence. Into the Fire continues the tradition. Laymon is the master at taking two totally seperate stories, each great in their own right, and forcing them upon each other into a climax of momentous proportions. In this novel, we have the story of a woman who gets abducted by a former high school stalker. She gets taken into the desert to become his plaything, but something happens along the way. In the other story, good boy Nathan gets unexpectedly teamed up with a crazy duo, turns to feral desires and a life of crime. As the two stories careen toward each other, much is learned about the players and their lives. Sex, blood and violence. Hey, it's all good! It's all Laymon. **** out of *****.

DVD Review: Masters of Horror--Pick Me Up

I have a lot of catching up to do as far as these Masters of Horror episodes go, so here's another. Unfortunately, it's another foray into "horror's could have been". Coming from Larry Cohen, I was expecting a decent film. It was choppy at best. It's bad when you care more for the killer than the unassuming victim. The victim in this case is the ever crabby Fairuza Balk. Boy, does she ever not play a crabby bitch? Talk about getting pigeonholed! She has the terrible luck of becoming the prize in a duel between two serial killers. Michael Moriarty does a great job, in my opinion, of at least making his character somewhat memorable. You know you should never pick up a hitchhiker, and that goes for Pick Me Up too. * out of *****.

DVD Review: Masters of Horror--Imprint

Anyone who knows me knows that I truly admire Takashi Miike's work. I think he has an incredible vision and for the most part, has been one of our better directors in recent years. However, he does have a habit of falling prey to the WTF bug every once in a while. Imprint is unfortunately, one of those times. Originally banned from American broadcast, even on a pay-channel like Showtime, it finally makes it onto DVD. I was curious as to what could be so bad about it that it got banned. After watching it, I concluded that there's no way the American public would stand for this. It was atrocious! It was horrific! No, I'm not talking about the dead fetuses, I'm talking about Billy Drago's acting goddammit! Holy smokes, if you've never seen overacting before then you need to check this one out. The story is about Drago's character returning to the Orient to find the love of his life, who happens to work in a brothel. Too bad for Drago, she was realistically tortured and killed a while ago. As he learns the story from a disfigured concubine he reacts in very dramatic fashion. And then, the disfigured girl has a talking hand with buck-teeth come out of her head! I wish I was making it up, but I'm not. What started out as atmospheric and melodromatic quickly turns into a ridiculous foray into the surreal as lies are uncovered and the truth is revealed. I wouldn't have banned it because it was edgy, I would have banned it because it sucked. Imprint get * out of *****.

DVD Review: Dark Reality

The creators of Dark Reality not only made a movie, but they tapped into a medical phenomenon. They discovered the cure for insomnia! This is possibly the most boring film I've ever had the displeasure of watching. There is no plot, there is no story, the guy on the box cover isn't even in the film! If you've never listened to my reviews in the past, do so now! This is a major crapper. The film is about a few women who get abducted, tortured and held captive by an unknown man. That's it. There's no mystery as to who the guy is, why these particular girls, no cop on the trail, no nothing. The only mystery I can find is...why am I watching this crap?! The film quality is terrible. It's grainier than a bag of whole-wheat bread! Plus, all the close-ups and over-the-cheek shots are enough to send you over the edge. The Reality of this situation certainly is Dark! 0 out of *****. I would give it negative points if I could!

DVD Review: Feast

The Project Greenlight horrorfest finally makes it to the masses, and the verdict is....um, not too bad. The writing was creative and I really liked the way the movie kicked off. It was original and I really dug it. The acting was over-the-top good, especially from Henry Rollins, who plays a self-motivating guru. The creature makeup was good when they finally shed their stupid looking costumes, I wish they would have left the furs and stuff off them the entire time, they looked goofy in them. The monster fighting scenes were filmed in that now-familiar shaking mode that's supposed to lend an air of frantic desperation. Unfortunately, I don't remember ever hearing anything about who or what these creatures are or where they came from. Maybe it'll be uncovered in the sure-to-be-sequel. Basically the movie's about a group of people in a dusty old desert bar, who get attacked by blood and sex-starved monsters. There's tons of blood and guts and all that good stuff. Overall, Feast is a fun ride, not to be taken seriously, but with a few minor slips. It get *** out of *****.

DVD Review: Halloween Night

OOOOOOOOO...Scaaaaarrrryyyyy. It's Halloween and when better to check out Halloween Night written by Fangoria's very own Michael Gingold. Gee, I wonder how they'll review this one, because let's face it, it's not too good. It says it's based on a true story. If it is, then real life really is stranger than fiction because there is a lot of people getting killed in this movie. It's actually one of the better things about it, all the killing. The problem is, is that the killing is lackluster and not much creativity went into the scenes. There was no buildup of tension, the acting was herky-jerky and it was just bland. It's like getting an ice cream cone filled with colorful scoops of ice cream and finding out it's all vanilla. Some of the characters were downright annoying and the guy that played the cop should never act again! Ok, so apparently. back in 1982, a guy escaped from a mental institution and killed a bunch of people in his former house, sound familiar? Unfortunately, Halloween Night couldn't be scary even after eating half a bag of candy from tonight's activities. What's next, The Afternoon of Friday the 13th? Sheesh! * out of *****.

DVD Review: Rest Stop

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! I so wanted this to be what it looked like! The previews looked so good! Alas, another drape of wool over my eyes. This was a weak, boring and non-sensible entry into the serial killer genre. If there was less blood, language and skin (not that there was much of any to begin with), it could be a Lifetime movie of the week. Where did the girl in the skirt on the cover come from? The girl in the movie had jeans on! It's stupid little things like that, all through the movie, that you notice. Oh yeah, and if it wasn't bad enough, it had Joey Lawrence in it. I kept waiting for him to say "Woah" as he proved why he hasn't worked in years. The main actress was annoying and the way her character acted was insipid. The plot goes like this--A girl and her boyfriend leave Texas for the bright lights of Hollywood. Along the way, they are tormented by a guy in a yellow truck. They stop at a rest stop and end up at the wrong end of this guy's furor. There are goofy "imagination" sequences, stupid dialogue and lousy acting by everyone included. The ending can be seen coming a mile away. The multiple endings included on the disc show that the lousy, overly-used ending was actually the best one of the crappy lot! Lucky us. Pass this Rest Stop, keep driving, run out of gas if you have to! * out of *****.

DVD Review: The Pumpkin Karver

It's that time of year again. When a rash of Halloween themed movies head straight to DVD to try to make some quick cash. Which one will be this year's Satan's Little Helper? It won't be The Pumpkin Karver, but don't let that stop you from checking it out. This film has potential, but it just didn't make the most out of the premise. First off is the young man who is the central character. Is he mentally challenged or not? Why does his sister have to stay with him on Halloween night when they're both like 20 years old? I was just wondering, in a movie like this, some detail would be nice. That being said, it wasn't a terrible slasher film, maybe a little tame for my standards since all the carving was done off screen, but the old man's performance is worth watching. His gritty performance as a crazy old coot is simply great. The two stoner dudes I just couldn't take though. Their comic relief was neither comical nor a relief. I also had a problem with the fact that with all those kids at the Halloween party, only a few get killed and you never see what happens to all the rest of them. Do they continue to party on? Do they go home? I'm a sucker for Halloween themed slashers but there are too many questions left unanswered with this one. A slasher movie doesn't need to be this stupid. They can be well thought out at times. Call this "the little slasher that almost did". It carves a ** out of *****. Oh, yeah, that face on the box cover, that's not the Pumpkin Karver, I don't know who that is, he's not in the movie, but he's creepier looking than the killer and should have been in it!

DVD Review: Hillside Cannibals

Was the Hills Have Eyes remake so popular that it needs this many low budget rip offs? Hillside Cannibals is actually more in the vein of Jack Ketchum's novel Off Season, but without everything that made that novel so great. This is a rather boring foray into the cannibalistic hill dwellers genre. A "family" of cannibals reside in the hills of a desert out in the middle of nowhere and they feast on anyone who gets too close to their lair. With more grunting and hooting than what's heard at the local zoo, for some reason the actors were told to act like monkeys. Monkeys aren't cannibals. Maybe it was their take on a caveman. Cavemen weren't cannibals either. I don't know, but it made for an irritating movie experience. Don't head into these hills. * out of *****.

Book Review: Ghost Road Blues by Jonathan Maberry

Damn you Maberry, damn you I say! If I were to write a novel, this is exactly the type of story I'd tell! Thank you Maberry, thank you I say because you actually wrote it and it kicks serious ass!! This is the best book I've read this year, hands and goat hooves down! This story has it all. Evil murderers, blues-playing ghosts, tow-truck drivers trying to run down kids, and a creepy feeling town to boot! I want to move to Pine Deep, even though my life would be on the line, that's my kind of town. This book is poetic, a beautiful story woven from delicate strands of gristle and fiber. The first in a trilogy, Maberry has started something that I hope he can keep up with. The book is flawless, from the opening page to the last. Buy and read this book NOW! It's the perfect time with Halloween right around the corner and autumn coming on strong. I'm not even going to try to explain the plot, it's too delicious and I don't want to do it a disfavor. You're a good man Mr. Maberry, keep up the great work! ***** out of *****. You've gotta let me know when Dead Man's Song comes out bro! I'll be the first in line.