CD of the Month (December): 1968 by American Werewolves

This CD rocks! Thirteen ghoulish grooves from the 'wolves. This is a great album to crank up and piss the neighbors off with. Trevor Moment's howling vocals grabs you by the throat and squeezes, while the rest of the band cranks out some rocking tunes. My favorites include "Nothing in the Dark" and "For Your Blood". Creative lyrics inspired by B-movie mayhem coupled with Do-Wop styled hard rock is always a Frankenstein I'll dig and not many do it better than the American Werewolves. 1968 gets ****1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Based on a true story, this Hollywood version of this supposed real-life exorcism is as far away from the real story, it's ridiculous. The "real" Emily Rose was actually a german girl named Anneliese Michel. I guess rather than tell a "true" account of the case, Hollywood has to dumb it up for the American public. It's a shame, because the movie is actually not bad, and Jennifer Carpenter, who plays Emily Rose, deserves a best actress nod in my opinion. The story follows the trial of a priest who is being tried for homicide by neglect. Even the trial is as far from the real events as you can get. In reality, the parents were also indicted for the homicide, and the sentence in the movie is different as well. Well, like I said, it's a good movie, take it for what it is but if you want the true story of Anneliese Michel, google her. There's a reported other movie being made on her called Requiem by german director Hans-Christian Schmid that's supposed to stay truer to the real life events. I give it ***1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Bloodline

Bloodline was a bit of a surprise for me. I was expecting a lame story and bad acting but the plot was pretty well conceived and the acting wasn't bad at all. It's the tale of two brothers, one seemingly normal and one an introverted mute. The story follows the two roads that their lives take. After watching the film, what we find out at the end leaves us putting all the pieces of the story back together into context. I really don't want to give too much of the film away. If I go into too much detail, there's no reason to see it. Check it out, you could do alot worse. ***1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Creep

We've all heard the stories, of people that live in the underground subway and sewer systems. Peolpe who haven't seen the light of day in decades, living in filth and squallor. That's the premise of this film, although it's just one man, not a colony. An unassuming young lady falls asleep while waiting for her subway and when she awakens, she finds that she's locked in the subway system for the night. Little does she know that she's not alone down there. It quickly turns into a cat-and-mouse game. While not as bad as some I've seen lately, Creep does have a bad habit of not explaining who this guy is and why he's down there. There's a photograph of him as a young boy with his doctor father, but that's about it. And then there's a doctor's office type of room in the subway system, it just didn't make any sense why. There were some good scenes in the movie and there were some tense moments, but the creep was seen way too much to be effectively scary. Oh yeah, can someone explain to me why, in scary movies, people stand in front of broken out windows with their back to the window? Or why when the bad guy gets knocked down, the heroine throws her weapon down and then runs away unarmed? Some things just drive you insane when you watch these things. Whether it's the writer's or the director's fault, I don't know, but it's enough to make me throw the remote! Creep get *** out of *****.

DVD Review: Cry_Wolf

I thought they were all wrong, all the other reviewers that skewered this movie. It couldn't be as bad as they say, could it? The trailer looked really good, I was excited to see for myself. Oh damn it! If this isn't THE worst film I've seen all year, it's at least in the top three. All the more so because this thing was a theatrical release with a ton of promotion behind it. It's films like this that cause the horror genre to slip off the theater release radar. Instead of being unrated it should have been rated "unwatchable". Boring, with characters you don't give a crap about, this is a stupid, pointless and unbearably bad piece of filmmaking. Not even the thespian stylings of one of this generations greatest actors (Jon Bon Jovi) could save it. Ha Ha, but really, the only way you'll not know what's going on is if you fall asleep during it, which is very plausible. A group of bratty college kids decide to play a prank on the rest of the school. A fake email is sent out describing a campus killer, what he's dressed in, when he'll strike, blah blah blah. Then it seems as if the email is true as the events start to happen. The filmmakers here are trying to make another Scream--without all the wit, killing, guesswork and scares that that classic had. Stay away from this movie! 0 out of *****!!!

DVD Review: Santa's Slay

Just in time for the holidays, a new Christmas classic comes down the chimney. Starring ex-wrestler Bill Goldberg as the evil Santa, this movie never fails to entertain. The story goes, Satan once had a child, who he named Santa, and he was a demon of demons. Then, a thousand years ago, an angel took the form of a man and challenged Santa to a contest. The angel won and Santa was forced to be good and bring boys and girls toys for 1,000 years. Well, time is up and Santa's ready to make up for lost time! He creatively kills anyone that gets in his way all in tune to your favorite carols. It's up to a young man and his girlfriend to put an end to Santa's rampage. Can they do it? Do yourself a favor and see. There's also a little stop-motion piece ala Rudolph, that details the contest between Santa and the angel that's great. Not to mention the cameos, there's some surprisingly familiar faces in the opening scene. As if all that's not enough, the disc is filled to the brim with extras, you'd think this was a theatrical release, but it's not, it's better, it's Direct-to-DVD! I've got a new holiday film tradition. It gets ****1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Scarred

There were things I loved about this movie and there were things I hated about this movie. There were exciting parts where I was captivated and there were boring parts were I was falling asleep. Those are too many things to deal with in a horror movie! The movie is about a young girl who gets her face cut off by her drunken father and ends up being the local urban legend of the monster girl who takes pretty girls faces. A family of campers (who, trust me, you'll want to end up dead!) find out the truth when they come face to ugly face with the mean-ass girl. I haven't heard so much roaring from a woman since Ice Queen, sheesh! It's easy to see where the actress that plays the monster girl got her inspiration-with her rolling eyes and flailing arms she totally brings to life the Bumble from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, but she don't bounce! Anyway, this is a middle of the road flick, something to watch when everything else is rented. I give it **1/2 out of *****.

Don't Stray...

More reviews are on they're way! On deck is the subterranean chiller Creep, the legend-come-to-life thriller Scarred, the independent award winner Stillwater, and a host of others I have to check out.

The nominees for The Daveys will be posted soon. There are a couple of good films coming out that could slip in at the last minute.

The December CD of the Month will be up today or tomorrow so you can run out and grab it for your favorite someone if you haven't finished your Christmas shopping by now.

Until then--Stay Scared!

Book Review: Straken by Terry Brooks

This is the third and final installment of Terry Brooks' High Druid of Shannara series. I have to admit that it was better than the previous two. Now, I liked both Jarka Ruus and Tanequil, but this one was much more action packed and not as slow moving as the others. Albiet, it is the finale, so it should pack a punch. The story picks up where Tanequil left off, with Pen trying to find his way into The Forbidding to save his aunt, Grianne, who used to be the evil Ilse Witch but is now the Ard Rhys of the Druid Order. She was banished there by a group of evil Druids. The fate of the world is at stake because with her banishment to the Forbidding, a demon was released from the Forbidding with plans to tear down the veil that stands between us and them. I would like to see Brooks take on something different than the Shannara series. His last venture was The Word and The Void series and that one was fresh and exciting. His neverending Ohmsford family in the Shannara series is getting a little stale and I think it would benefit both the fans and himself to take a break from it. Other than that, the book was good, just a little tiresome because of the "been there done that" feel to this series. I give it *** out of *****.

DVD Review: Heebie Jeebies

If you're going to put the tagline "Scarier Than Hell" on your DVD cover art, then you'd better try to make it so. If Hell is as scary as Heebie Jeebies, then it's no big whup. The film deals with a young woman who has prophetic dreams about her friends dying. Since she has a habit of her dreams coming true, she decides to have them all come out to a dilpidated old farmhouse so she can protect them from their imminent demise. Interspersed throughout the movie are little "dream" segments that are like little movies in themselves. They're each actually better than the movie as a whole. The film was a little grainy and the sound was a little low, but nothing to really complain about, I mean it is a B-movie. One thing I did like, I did like the twist at the end. It was creative at least. I think this film would have worked better as a Creepshow-type of anthology because like I said, the shorts weren't bad. This film suffered from a flow problem, it just wasn't smooth. Hopefully the directors, Doug Evans and Michael Hawkins-Burgos, used this as a learning experience and will only get better, because the shorts show their talent. Also has a funny blooper reel on the DVD. I'll give it *** out of *****. Same score as Star Wars, for 150 million dollars less!

DVD Review: Star Wars-Episode 3-Revenge of The Sith

Well, I may be the only one out there, but I'm kinda glad this series is over with for now. This latest from George Lucas' money making machine is beautiful to look at, but is as hollow as a gourd. The acting is unbearably bad, by some of the best in Hollywood don't forget, and the story isn't much better. But there's never been a better looking or sounding DVD. This thing rings true through the surround sound and the visuals are amazing. If only Lucas could take the whole human element out of his films and just use his Lucasarts team to make CG movies, then they'd be great. This is the part of the series that ties the new trilogy in with the old, the creation of Darth Vader. The fact that we already know who lives, because of the original Star Wars, takes so much away from this movie. We know Anakin doesn't kill Kenobi, we know Padma has twins and dies in childbirth, this movie doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. I don't know, I wasn't impressed, other than by the sound and the effects. I'll give it *** out of *****, just for technical mastery if anything else. And it's a great film to show off your surround system.

DVD Review: One Missed Call

From Takashi Miike, another masterfully chilling film. This guy knows his way around a camera! The plot is about a group of young people, who one by one start to recieve a call on their cell phone. The phone rings in a tone that's not their's, and it's a spooky tone let me tell you, and when they don't answer it, they find out there's a message left. The message is from themselves, days in the future, at the time of their death. The tone of this movie is absolutely great! You don't know what's going to happen next and everything is slowly revealed. The acting is top notch and the atmosphere extremely creepy. This just may be my favorite Miike film yet. Of course, there's always the troublesome ending with Miike, but I think I figured out his meaning on this one. ****1/2 out of *****. Why are those long haired Japanese women so scary!?

DVD Review: Werewolf Hunter

This one is certainly not your run-of-the-mill werewolf movie. It takes place in the 1800's and is about Europe's first serial killer, Romasanta, who's defense was that he was a werewolf. As the cover says, it's based on a true story. The location shooting is fantastic and really lends an atmosphere of old world charm to the picture. The film stars Julian Sands (Warlock), and the acting is actually very good with the direction and choreography top notch. But, as in many a bad advertising methods, the creature on the cover does not make an appearance in the movie. And we all know how that steams me. For such a well directed movie to have such a stupid cover on it just to garnish some sales is a shame because the film is much more than a werewolf movie. I'll give it **** out of *****. It lost half a star because of the cover lie.

DVD Review: Audition

Takashi Miike's scary look into the world of dating will make you think twice before asking that pretty young thing out! This film makes Fatal Attraction look like a cartoon. The story goes like this-a man in his forties loses his wife to illness. With the help of his friend, he decides to hold an audition for a role in a movie they are trying to produce at the same time checking out the girls to find his next love. He can't get one girl out of his head and so he decides to go for it. Everything is hunky-dorey until, well, you have to watch it. It's a very character driven movie with great atmosphere and there's always the sense of something beneath the surface. The acting is stellar and the direction is usual Miike, which is to say, very good. It is a little slow at times, don't pick it up expecting Ichi the Killer, it's not, but it's just as effective. **** out of *****.

DVD Review: Doll Graveyard

I told you I was a Full Moon fan. Another in a seemingly endless number of "doll" movies from Charles Band, but this was at least more in the vein of a Full Moon movie. Band's movies just don't have the creativity, or the gore for that matter, that they had in days gone by. This was unrated, but could have easily been PG-13. The plot is of course-demonic dolls return to find vengeance. The direction was good and the sound was good, even the story was decent for a Full Moon feature but the execution of the final product lacked oomph. Doll Graveyard doesn't come close to the Puppetmaster series or Demonic Toys. Oh, how I yearn for the Full Moon of old, the makers of Subspecies, Netherworld, hell, even Doctor Mordrid was better than anything they put out recently. I give it ** out of *****.

DVD Review: Ice Queen

Ugh, I don't know, this one sucked. The premise was good, the effects for a b-grade movie were decent, but something about this movie just didn't do it for me. Maybe it was the constant roaring of the Ice Queen, who never shut up or maybe it was the idiotic love triangle or the fact that there's a killer monster on the loose and nobody really seems to care. A scientific discovery is hijacked and stolen (the discovery being the Ice Queen) and after some technological breakdowns, she awakens in the airplane and causes it to crash at a ski resort, causing an avalanche that isolates the resort. The owner is a former drunk, so when he calls 911, nobody listens to him. The Ice Queen then runs around the resort yelling and killing the few people that are there. This one should have never left the freezer. *1/2 out of *****.

CD of the Month (November): Werewolf Order by Shadow Reichenstein

Got his little black beauty in my mailbox the other day and haven't stopped listening to it since. An unbelievable piece of horror-rock if there ever was one. The songs are crisp and perfectly produced. Shadow does an incredible job of summoning Bela Lugosi. It's about time Halloween got its own music and It's Halloween is the perfect tune for it. The lyrics are ghoulishly fun with the music a little harder here than on their last cd. My only beef is that they included an updated version of a song (Be My Victim) from their debut. A minor snag in an otherwise perfect coffin lining. ****1/2 out of *****.

Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Despite all of the things left out from the book, this is still the best one of the lot. Plenty of action, intrigue and eye-candy for any movie fan. Harry's getting older and so are his freinds so there's plenty of hormonal problems going on here. Throw in the Tri-Wizard Tournament and the return of Voldemort and we've got ourselves a winner. Beautifully directed, wonderfully acted and perfectly scored, this movie keeps you going well past the two-hour mark. The absolute greatest thing about this franchise is the fact that they keep the same actors for the same roles, something that's rarely done. They are also able to snag some really great actors for the bit parts. Order of the Pheonix just can't get made quick enough! Highly recommended. ****1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: The Gingerdead Man

That's it! Call the coroner and toe-tag me, I'm dead! Full Moon Studios have put out some bad films over the years, but this one takes the cookie. From a studio that can make masterpieces (Subspecies, Castle Freak) when they want to, this is just a bad, bad movie. Not even Gary Busey's thespian masterwork can save it. Didn't he get nominated for an Oscar once? Oh how low we fall, first Celebrity Fit Club and now The Gingerdead Man! Busey plays a killer who goes to the electric chair and happens to return from the dead as a killer cookie. That's all you need to know, the rest of the story doesn't mean a thing. If Charles Band wants to save his company, he'd better hire Ted Nicolau back and put out some higher quality stuff. 0 out of *****. And I'm a die-hard Full Moon fan!

DVD Review: Jack O'Lantern

What did I do to deserve this? I watched this crapper over Halloween weekend and it took me this long to write a review about it. You see, I've been in the toilet throwing my guts up and gouging my eyes out since then! Never before have I seen someone die by being run off the road, and hitting ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The front end is smashed up and there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in front of the damn thing. Anyway, the result of the ghost wreck is the dad is killed and the son is left brain damaged. Then a mysterious pumpkin is left on the boy's porch and when he goes to carve it, there's blood in it and somehow he gets possessed by something and he turns into a big pumpkin man, or something like that. It's even more funny watching the making of because everyone is saying how great the movie is. They must have been high. Another one of these and I just may kill myself! 0 out of *****.