CD Review: Dirty Diamonds by Alice Cooper

As Alice Cooper nears 60 years old, he's showing no signs of slowing down. What he started with The Eyes of Alice Cooper, he continues here, going back to old school rock and roll. A few of the songs on this disc sound as if they were recorded back with Billion Dollar Babies or School's Out. Even as he ages, his voice is as good as ever. So many times watching bands like The Who or Pink Floyd recently at the "One" Concert, you ask yourselves "They still sound good, so why aren't they putting new music out?". Someone usually answers "They can't write stuff like that anymore.". Well Alice is proving them wrong again as this disc is very old style sounding (except " Stand"). If you liked Eyes, there's more where that came from here. It gets **** out of *****.

Movie Review: The Fantastic Four

The summer's second big superhero movie made a huge payday on opening weekend but sadly, wasn't as fantastic as everyone was saying. Not that it wasn't entertaining. It's just that in today's day and age, previews ruin movies. If you've seen the previews, you've seen the movie. There were very few action sequences that weren't in the trailer. Dr. Doom (as the hooded and masked Dr. Doom) is in the film only at the end. I know that this is the first of what should be many, but I felt a little cheated. The effects were good but my cineplex put the film in a theater with lousy sound so that didn't help matters. The acting was pretty good throughout the movie and the makeup on The Thing was really good, alot better than the CGI Hulk. Here's hoping the crew returns for the sequel and that it's a little more action packed. As for me, I liked Batman Begins better but I still give Fantastic Four ***1/2 out of *****.

Book Review: Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way by Bruce Campbell

The Chin's second foray into the publishing world is just as an entertaining read as his debut, If Chins Could Kill, Confessions of a B-Movie Actor. Long held in my heart as one of my favorite actors, Bruce puts on display his unending wit and humor as he describes his misadventures trying to become a part of a big league "A" list movie starring Richard Gere and Renee' Zellweger. As the movie unwinds around him and blame is cast upon the "B" movie actor, Bruce takes to some desperate measures to clear his name and save his reputation. Filled with laugh-out-loud pictures and action sequences as only The Chin could write, this is a must read for any genre fan or any fan of humorous stories. Even better than his first, this book gets ***** out of *****. Noboby can pile it on like Bruce Campbell.

CD of the Month (July): Once by Nightwish

Each new Nightwish release gets bigger and better than the last one. Once is their best so far. The sound is HUGE on this album and it's easily one of the best produced albums of the year. Seriously, every track hits it's mark. The musicianship is unbelievable and Tarja's vocals are as powerful as ever. "Dark Chest of Wonders" starts the CD off with a great guitar riff and the songs have an almost cinematic feel to them. There are eleven songs on the album and every one is fantastic, even if one is sung in Finnish (Kuolema Tekke Taiteilijan). I don't know, it must be something in the water over in Finland, Once is the second CD of the Month from a Finnish band so far this year. Viva' La Finland! The disc gets ***** out of *****. Perfect.

Movie Review: Batman Begins

This is the best Batman movie ever! Gone are all the colorful backdrops, stupid jokes, crappy big name actors and terrible scripts. This is how a Batman movie should look. Dark and dreary like the main character. Christopher Nolan directed a masterpiece here and Christian Bale really is the best Dark Knight yet. Also not to be forgotten is Michael Caine, as the butler Alfred. Everyone was casted wonderfully, even that goofy bastard's girlfriend wasn't bad. Even if you're not into superhero movies, I'd have to say you would like this movie. It's a very character driven drama. I give it ****1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Skinned Deep

Another offering from Fangoria's line of DVD's and for all intents and purposes, another stinker. The character on the box, called The Surgeon General is the only interesting character here. The plot has a family falling into the clutches of a sadistic family consisting of Mama, the Surgeon General, Plates (a plate flinging Warwick Davis), Brain, and The Creator. Brain actually has a gigantic brain sticking out the top of his head. Anyway, all the family members are killed except the teenage daughter, who Brain happens to fall in love with. The thing is, if you read the movie description, it's NOTHING that actually happens in the movie, I mean, you can bend it really out there to make it fit but come on! The only thing that can save this movie is watching it on the same night as Cold Grip! It gets * out of *****.

DVD Review: Black Cadillac

This is a flat out well made movie. The acting is top notch, with Randy Quaid turning in another memorable role. Based on a true story, the plot follows a Princeton football star, his little brother and his childhood friend as they trek across Minnesota heading home to Wisconsin after an all-nighter. After pissing off some locals at a roadhouse bar, the boys are harassed on their drive by a mysterious Black Cadillac. Even after picking up a stranded cop (Quaid), the terror continues. This is a much better movie than Joy Ride, Detour or Monster Man. I give it **** out of *****.

DVD Review: Cold Grip

Holy Mama, don't watch this crapper! It sucks. Plain and simple, it's not worth the film stock it was filmed on. A woman with HIV stalks her victims at the airport and after a night with them, she leaves them the bad news on their mirror. Well, one guy's just not going to let her get away with it! 0 out of *****. Yeah, it's so crappy, Skinned Deep was actually looking better and better the longer this movie ran!

DVD Review: Ghost Lake

When I saw this movie was being released, I had high hopes that it was going to be good. Well, it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't as good as it could have been. Too many times while watching this I was muttering "What the hell is going on?", and that's never a good thing when it comes to horror movies. The movie follows a young woman whose parents died while she was out getting it on with some guy and she tries to escape her guilt by going to her parent's cabin. Nothing or no-one is what it seems at the old lake. What follows is a cock-a-mamie plot massacre. The film said it runs 111 minutes on the box, but in reality it ran well over 130 minutes, and boy it felt like it! Unfortunately, the best part of the disc is the "making of" portion, it was actually entertaining. The movie gets ** out of *****.

Xombie is Back!

The long awaited sixth episode of the web's greatest comic is now online and can be viewed HERE.

DVD Review: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Finally got around to seeing this one. Now this is a good old-fashioned action yarn here. Pure escapism from the crappy world for a while. The visuals were pure heaven, the movie being one big piece of eye candy. Not since Raiders of the Lost Ark have I been swept into such a fun adventure. Made me feel like a kid again. This thing was filmed like it was made in the golden age of cinema, with many of the accents from 40's and 50's style sci-fi paranoia films. The acting was good, I liked how Gwynneth kept looking at her camera and trying to decide when to shoot her last 2 pictures. The sound was great also on this movie. I really enjoyed it and give it ****1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Ripper 2-Letter From Within

This one was a stinker. It really had nothing to do with Jack the Ripper at all. Molly Keller, Jack's direct descendant, returns (although another actress plays her here) and is being held at an insane asylum. She's such a whacked out case, that her doctors send her off to Prague to be part of a secret test that utilizes dreams as therapy. Somehow, the Ripper comes forth from her dream and starts killing off all the other bad apple kids at the testing facility. It's kinda funny how the Ripper looks just like a Ringwraith from the Lord of the Rings and everytime it's shown, it's moving in slow motion. It's a shame because the video quality was good, as well as the sound, it's just that the movie sucked. I'll give it * out of *****.

DVD Review: Shallow Ground

This is a film I've been waiting for to be released and it's finally out. Let me start by saying that it was better than your average direct-to-DVD release. The cinematography was excellent, the video quality was very good, the sound was 5.1 surround and was very good also. The acting was so-so, but overall it was a very good film. It ranks up there with Dead Birds as one of the great direct-to-DVD releases of the year so far. The plot follows a small town police force that's in the process of closing up shop, when a naked boy, covered in blood and garnishing a knife comes walking into the station. What follows is a tale of unsolved murders, vengeance and restitution. Talk about kharma! Do yourself a favor and check this one out. It's about time we get some decent horror. Way better than Saw and I liked it better than High Tension too. I give it **** out of *****.

Horror/SciFi DVD Releases for 6/28

American Gothic
Bizarre
Cyclone
Decadent Evil
Demon Sex
Extreme Horror: Two-fer
French Sex Murders
Shadow of the Wraith
Revelations
Shallow Ground
The Sisterhood
The Slaughterhouse Massacre
Troma Pack #1-7
Twilight Zone: Season 3 - The Definitive Edition

DVD Review: Dead Meat

It seems that zombie movies are all the rage right now and Ireland doesn't want to be left out. This take has a strange strain of mad cow disease spreading across the land turning people into zombies. I have to say, the makeup is some of the worst I've seen in a while. It looks like the zombie faces are made with oatmeal. The Irish countryside looks nice though. The three survivors have to fend the horde off in an old castle and unfortunately, the movie never really gets going. There are a few Evil Dead and Night of the Living Dead type moments. There are a few good kills in the movie, but really other than that, it's nothing you haven't seen. Still, if you love the zombie genre, you owe it to see it. I give it ** out of *****.

DVD Review: Man-Thing

This was a film that was originally heading to theaters and at the last minute went straight to the Sci-Fi Channel and then on DVD. It's based on a Marvel comics character. When a contractor starts tearing up the Black Water section of the swamp, it awakens the ancient guardian that protects it. The new sherriff in town has to try to solve the rash of unexplained murders in the area. I was expecting a terrible movie and what I got was a decent little monster movie. I thought it was shot well, plenty of gross stuff and the acting was pure B grade. The effects were better than I had expected. Still, it's good it didn't go to theaters, it wouldn't have had the mass market appeal of other comic franchises. It's good for a Saturday night monster movie. It gets ***1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Rock & Roll Frankenstein

Leave it to the people over at Shock-O-Rama Pictures to come up with this one. When Uncle Bernie loses his best musical act he resorts to an unethical way to create the next megastar. He employs the help of his scientist nephew and a group of stoner dudes to put together (literally) the superstar. The stoners raid the graves of some of the most popular dead musicians and piece by piece, a star is made. The head of Elvis, the hands of Hendrix, etc.. Things go wrong when the stoners are sent to get Jim Morrison's johnson and after an accident, they wind up grabbing Liberace's instead. The King shoots to stardom while his "member" keeps having unnatural urges. It's a war of wills. You can't help but laugh when the King's dong starts talking like Liberace and saying things like "Mmmm, I smell dingleberries!" This was a funny movie that could have been funnier, but the guy that played the King was great. This would make a great drinking game movie, down a shot everytime Uncle Bernie says "Fucka!" or "You cocksucka!" It gets **1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Dark Town

A slum owner comes across some vampiric squatters, gets bitten and returns home on his birthday to infect his family. Throw in the mix a group of gangmembers that run from a gunfight only to hide out in the lair. The movie looked suspiciously crappy in the beginning but actually turned into a decent little vampire flick. There's more than a fair amount of gore in the movie and the vampire makeup is better than alot of others out there. There's also a few comedic scenes interspersed throughout that add to the film. Not a great movie, but it was decent. I give it *** out of *****.

DVD Review: Cold and Dark

Remember the name Luke Goss. This dude is gonna hit the big time soon. He stars as a cop that dies and plays host to a creature called The Grail in this supernatural thriller that is much better than your average movie. It's well acted, directed, has great atmosphere and is all around a classy thriller. Goss' character, while dead and possessed, continues to be a cop, but shells out his own brand of vigilante justice. His cop partner knows of his friend's situation and faces the tough part of being loyal to him or turning him in for the rash of murders. Those in the know will recognize Goss from The Last Horror Movie, which was reviewed on this site a while ago. This is one B-Movie that raises itself above the pack and could have easily been a theater release. I give it ****1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Cursed

Could this movie possibly be as bad as all the reviews said it was? I had to find out for myself. And for once, everybody was right. It's hard to find a topic that everyone can agree on, but everyone can agree that this movie sucks. I even watched the unrated version and it was lousy. I don't know what they could have possibly cut out because there was absolutely nothing in this movie. Not for nothing, but Joshua Jackson should have stayed in Dawson's Creek, I don't care if they're not filming it anymore, he should go back. He's terrible in this movie. And to make matters worse, the werewolf is the gayest looking creature in the world, it looks like it was created by Sigfreid and Roy! I don't want to waste any more time on this one, so I give it 0 out of *****. For those keeping count, that's three crappers in a row.