Dave's Horror Reviews

Book Review: The Devil Stood Up by Christine Dougherty

2012-01-22T09:07:00.001-05:00

Hey guys, check out my review of the new book by Christine Dougherty, The Devil Stood Up, over at my book review site Words From The Vein. CLICK HERE!!

Book Review: Seed by Ania Ahlborn

2011-10-11T08:09:00.001-05:00

Check out my review of SEED by Ania Ahlborn over at Words From the Vein, Dave's Horror's other site strictly for book reviews. Here's the link:

http://wordsfromthevein.blogspot.com/2011/10/book-review-seed-by-ania-ahlborn.html

Movie Review: Creature

2011-09-11T08:45:00.003-05:00

ARGGGHHH!!! Will somebody tell me right now just how this movie made it into theaters?! After seeing the trailer for Creature, I thought, OK, might be a little cheesy but it could be fun. Holy hell, I couldn't have been more wrong!

Terror has teeth?! TERROR HAS TEETH?! ARGGGHHHH! It took so long to see these so-called teeth I stopped caring by the time I did! This movie is an hour and a half of pure crapola. The monster is THE worst thing I've ever seen and the characters just can't die quickly enough for my tastes. Man, everything about this movie sucked, with the exception of Sid Haig, of course. In fact, the three hillbillies, of which Haig is one, are the ONLY things about this move that are half-decent. The twenty-something soon-to-be victims are so cardboard it's ridiculous.

This movie should have been titled, "Creature... That Slowly Stands from a Squat." Because that's ALL this creature does! Every time they show him, he's slowly rising from a squat. Sometimes he has some kind of turtle shell or something on top of him and sometimes he doesn't. What, does he carry that thing around like a cape or something? And that's not even the worst of it. When the creature growls or makes one of its other imposing noises, it does so without moving its mouth! Instead of killing swamp people, this mo-fo could have had a great career as a ventriloquist.

Creature is so bad, it shouldn't even be considered for one of Syfy's Saturday Night movies! In fact, this thing makes some of Syfy's offerings look like freaking Lord of the Rings! It doesn't even fit in the "it's so bad it's good" category. I'm telling you, I haven't been this pissed off after seeing a movie in ages. What a terrible waste of time this movie is. If you have a hankering to see an old back-Bayou killer movie, try Hatchet, or even Venom, as they are far superior to this swampy turd (and that's saying something!).

I give Creature a big fat alligator egg, 0 out of *****.

Check out the trailer for Creature below.

Movie Review: Chawz

2011-09-01T19:27:00.000-05:00

If there's one thing I can't get enough of, it's monster movies, but more in particular, Asian monster movies. In recent years, Korean filmmakers have reintroduced us to the beauty of mutant monster movies, something that we here in the U.S. haven't produced successfully since the 50s and 60s. These movies are supposed to be light on scares and big on fun. Case in point, Chawz!

The story follows a young police officer from Seoul who gets transferred to a small rural community, much to his chagrin. After his arrival, the body parts start piling up and the previously peaceful village has now become a haven for death and dismemberment conducted by a renegade mutant boar with a voracious appetite -- for human flesh! Eventually a world-famous hunter is called in, and along with the crazy police force, they set out to kill the beast. The only bad thing is they're completely unprepared for the job.

Written and directed by Shin Jung-Won, Chawz knows not to take itself too seriously and that's a good thing. All throughout the movie, there are laugh-out-loud moments and Korean cinema's trademark crazy characters, like the bumbling police force, the boastful hunter and the wacky female villager, that balance out the film perfectly. And, as you can see in the pic below, the cannibalistic boar doesn't look too bad either.

Is Chawz perfect? No. But it is funny, exciting and a lot of fun to watch. And while it is a monster movie, the allure of Chawz has more to do with the human characters rather than the spectacle of the beast, which also kicks ass by the way. I give Chawz **** out of *****.

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Movie Review: Bereavement

2011-09-01T15:35:00.002-05:00

Being a lover of director Stevan Mena's Malevolence, I was excited to see his latest film, Bereavement. This film is actually a prequel to Malevolence, which came out back in 2004, which is quite a lengthy span between the films, hence the fact that very little is mentioned about the first film in this one's promotions. While Bereavement works as a stand alone slasher movie for those unfamiliar with Malevolence, having seen it does add to the world in which this one takes place and we get to see how the killer in Malevolence becomes so, well, malevolent.

Bereavement is a very slow burn of a movie and for me, it never really caught fire. It does have plenty of things going for it, however. For starters, the movie has stunning cinematography and aptly creepy music which adds to the thick, heavy atmosphere that permeates the movie. This is a serious horror movie in which the consequences are very real. There are no stupid jokes here to help lighten the mood, folks, this is old school torture horror. There's even violence to children in this film, it's so doggone dark. But, like I said, the consequences are real and the violence is no joke.

My biggest problem with Bereavement is that I just didn't care for any of the characters. Michael Biehn and his entire family just didn't do it for me. I don't know why, but that's the truth of it. So, when things turn from bad to worse, I didn't find myself caring much. I was thinking, "Man, this is a really long movie!"

So, that said, Bereavement is not a completely bad movie, just like it is not a really good movie. It has its good points and its bad. In fact, it's the most middle-of-the-road movie I've seen in a long time. In the end, I give Bereavement **1/2 out of *****.

Movie Review: Spiderhole

2011-08-29T08:20:00.000-05:00

Let's start this review off by taking a look at the quote offered on Spiderhole's promo, "If you liked Hostel and Saw, you'll like Spiderhole." Oh those crazy editors, it's supposed to read, "If you like Hostel and Saw's grimy environments, then you MIGHT like Spiderhole."

Spiderhole is about four Brit thirty-something teenagers who are looking for a nice cozy and abandoned place to call home for a while. In other words, they're squatters. They happen upon this one place that seemingly looks perfect, but alas, is anything but. One by one, they're targeted and set upon by some behind-the-scenes madman.

So, these clowns, oh, I mean kids, start looking around the place that's going to be home. For some reason the greasy-haired leader doesn't want to search the place top to bottom, he says he scoped out the joint previously. Then, somebody opens a cabinet and blood-covered clothes and shoes fall out. Queue the "everybody freakout, we gotta get outta here, the leader convinces everybody to chill out and go to sleep" scene. Yeah, I mean, what's so bad about some blood covered clothing, right? Goodnight, see you in the morning. From this point on, Spiderhole starts slipping down the spiderhole.

As they wake up, they discover that somebody barred the door and now, they're trapped inside the building. Nevermind that when the one kid hits a window filled up with bricks that the bricks totally MOVE; he gives up and kicks the wall. Nevermind one girl gets a massive cut on her leg and you have no idea how or when she got it except when she tells the others she got it when looking in some other room she somehow explored while she never left our sight. Then, there's a horrible sequence that looks like segments of film got put together in the wrong sequence during editing. You're literally left asking, "is the killer in front of her or not? No, wait, now she's in a chair, no, now she's removing balusters, wait, wasn't the killer right in front of her a minute ago?"

Spiderhole is a film that had tremendous promise if it was done right, but sadly, it falls flat on its face. The trailer for this thing makes it look awesome, but sadly, it sucks big time. I hope this thing puts the final nail in the sadistic surgeon coffin bit, because it's starting to reek.

Spiderhole only gets * out of *****. Check out the preview below, but don't get caught in its web, this movie is pretty, pretty bad.

Short Film Review: The Water's Edge

2011-06-30T17:45:00.004-05:00

If you please, I'm going to ask you to take out a piece of paper and a pencil or some other writing instrument. Now I want you to write down this name - Chris Thomas. Why am I asking you to do this? Because his short film, The Water's Edge, is so frickin' fantastic I have no doubt in the world that you're going to be seeing this kid's name on the big screen very, very soon. In fact, everybody that worked on this thing will have a very successful future in film if I have anything to say about it.

Chris contacted me the other day and asked if I would watch his film and give him a review and man, am I glad he did. The Water's Edge is stark, rife with tension and mesmerizing. The fact that he's just out of film school and this is what he came up with blows me away. Everything about this movie is on target, from the sparse but ever-so-effective sound design to the main character's emotional performance to the cinematography to the editing, everything works beautifully.

According to Chris, The Water's Edge is "set in an alternate vision of the future. Robert Stenuit struggles to survive alone in a dark barren environment while seeking human contact. However, he must avoid the threats that surround him. A visual interpretation of German literary romanticism, with elements of melancholy and the sublime. Influenced by the early sci-fi and horror films."

I can't begin to express just how powerful this short film is. It's a tale of one man's lonesome journey through a land of isolation and hopeful wanting. You see it on Robert's face, you feel it in the slate rock that covers the barren landscape where the only sounds he hears are the blowing wind and the crunching of the slate under his tattered shoes and you know it by sight because it's a feeling we've all felt at one time or another in our lives.

The Water's Edge is currently playing in select film festivals so if you see it listed, GO SEE IT!! I give The Water's Edge an enthusiastic ***** out of *****. I just can't say how much I loved this film and if there's any justice in the world, we'll see a feature length version of this thing in the near future. Check out the trailer below.

The Water's Edge. Teaser Trailer (2011) from Chris Thomas (CT) on Vimeo.

A Lot of Catching Up to Do

2011-06-10T08:34:00.007-05:00

I know I have a lot of catching up to do in terms of recent reviews, so to help save time for the time being, here's a quick run down of a few books and movies that I have recently read or seen, in no particular order:

Books

First, I'm completely hooked on Shana Hammaker's short story series, Twelve Terrifying Tales for 2011. There's not a month that goes by that I'm not waiting patiently for her next tale. Here's where we're at thus far with Shana's work:

Charlie - *****
Border Crossing - *****
North of Forks - *****
Metamorphosis - *****
Souls, Inc. - *****
Teeth: A Fable - *****

Next, here are a few other novels I've recently read:

Dark Fiction by David Kempf - ** - Kempf has a really good premise in this book but the sheer number of seven word sentences tends to make this a laborious read that make sit feel like he's dictating the story rather than letting it flow smoothly.

Ancient Awakening and Ancient Enemies (Volume 2) by Matthew Bryan Laube - ***1/2 and ***1/2 - I love Laube's Ancient series. His stories are fast paced, fun and exciting. They each could have easily gotten four stars if they had been edited a little better. Even still, I can't wait for the next chapter in this exciting tale.

Dead Sea by Brian Keene - **** - What more can I say about Brian Keene? He's awesome and Dead Sea doesn't disappoint on its promise of nasty zombie action.

Abominable by William Meikle - **1/2 - I loved the thought behind Meikle's short story, Abominable, but I really didn't like the narrator of this yarn.

Mister Slaughter by Robert McCammon - ***** - Another brilliant book from Mr. McCammon! In my opinion, one of the best writers working today.

Serial by Jack Kilborn and Jake Crouch - ****1/2 - What a fun, nasty little tale this one is!

Monster by A. Lee Martinez - ***1/2 - This was one of the funniest books I've read since Good Omens. The ending left me a little wanting but it was one heck of a fun ride getting there.

Star Wars: Death Troopers by Joe Schreiber - **** - Zombies in outer space, in the Star Wars universe... what else could an 80s-era teen ask for?

Movies

True Grit (2010) - ****
Paranormal Entity - **
House of Fears - ***
8213: Gacy House - **
Night of the Demons - ***
Suspect Zero - ***
Deadfall Trail - *
Blood Creek - *
Crimson Rivers - ****
Drive Angry - ****
Black Death - ****
Skyline - ***
Prowl - **
Monsters - ****
Pandorum - ***

CD Review: Sins of the Past by The Young Werewolves

2011-06-10T08:02:00.005-05:00

First, I want to apologize to The Young Werewolves because they sent me this CD for review a while ago but due to some issues in my life I wasn't able to get the review up until now. Sins of the Past is the third album by the Philadelphia trio and like their previous effort, Cheat the Devil, they have churned out another excellent disc filled with rock-n-rollicking tunes.

To put it simply, Sins of the Past is fast, fun and the ideal CD for any horror-themed party. With songs like Zombie Prom, Twelve Steps to Rock N Roll, Midnight Monster Hop and their own rendition of Rock Lobster, there's no way to stop yourself from hitting the dance floor. They also stay true to their 50's rock inspiration on this album, especially in tunes like In the Shadows, The Dreamtime, Damned if You Dare and Hot Rod Burnin'. But without a doubt, their song Generation Breakdown is the star of this disc.

Sins of the Past sees The Young Werewolves musically maturing and evolving naturally into their prime. The disc is expertly produced, the songs are well written and brilliantly performed. Wolfman Nick Falcon, Jonny Wolf and the lovely Shewolf Dana Kain have produced one fine sounding CD and one of the best rockabilly records in the past year and a half. Great job guys!

Sins of the Past gets the full complement -- ***** out of *****. I just love this record! Pick up a copy and start dancing to the ghoulishly groovy sounds of THE YOUNG WEREWOLVES! AAAROOOOOOOOO!

Book Review: Luminous and Ominous by Noah K. Mullette-Gillman

2011-04-10T18:03:00.002-05:00

When I originally read the synopsis of Luminous and Ominous by Noah K. Mullette-Gillman, I must admit I had my doubts. I mean, beautifully colored plants overtaking the planet and bringing on an extinction-level event? It doesn't exactly sound like it would work. But, for a number of reasons, it does!

Luminous and Ominous is a story about a group of friends and the decisions they have to make when it becomes evident that the world is ending. Who do they save when there's only a limited amount of time and space? What items do they take with them? What do they do when the people and the world around them change? Noah K. Mullette-Gillman brings us a very realistic look at these grim realities and that's what sets this story apart and what makes it so special. While the circumstances might be fantastic, the reactions are realistic and that's why this book works so well. You see, Noah never lies to us.

Noah fills his story with believable characters, strong and realistic dialogue (a little heavy on the exclamation points early on in the story, but that's me just picking) and a most interesting alien infestation. From his vivid descriptions of the plant-like invader to its strange and wonderful insects and animal-like hybrids, Luminous and Ominous is a fun read that plays in your mind just like a movie, sort of like a technicolor version of The Road, except this story made a better movie in my mind than film version of The Road actually was.

If you're a fan of horror survival fiction and you're looking for something new and different, you're going to want to read this book. It's unique, refreshing and pretty damn good. I give Luminous and Ominous **** out of *****.

And thanks Noah, here I thought I was the only one who has this sorta weird belief that the end of the world wouldn't be that bad of a thing. Maybe it comes from living in New Jersey. Pick up Luminous and Ominous for your Kindle and read it for yourself.

Short Story Review: Charlie by Shana Hammaker

2011-04-07T16:45:00.004-05:00

Charlie is the first short story in Shana Hammaker's short thriller series, Twelve Terrifying Tales for 2011 and let me tell you, you're going to be hearing a lot from Ms. Hammaker if I have anything to do with it because this is one fantastic read! You know, writing a short story is a specific art form all its own and not many writers can accomplish this feat successfully, but so far (and I've read three of Ms. Hammaker's stories thus far) I can tell you that she has it down pat.

First off, I want to thank Ms. Hammaker for writing such a well crafted and thrilling story, but perhaps even more importantly, this thing sparkled off the page with such clarity I was almost caught off guard. Allow me to explain. A few months ago, I bought my first Kindle, and to be honest, I'm addicted to the thing. However, there's one thing that drives me absolutely crazy about the e-book craze -- so many authors are rushing to get their stories out to the public that a little thing called editing is getting thrown to the wayside. Misspelled words, absent periods and terrible grammar have plagued many of the e-books I've read. That is, until I read Shana Hammaker. Shana's stories are professionally written and error-free which is truly refreshing to me. I just wanted to mention this because it tells me she really puts a lot into her work and I, for one, appreciate that.

Anyway, back to Charlie. Charlie focuses on a woman named Alex who finds a corpse in the basement of her newly purchased home. He wasn't there when she closed on the house, but the poor dead guy got there somehow. Now, as if finding the dead guy in your home isn't bad enough, it gets worse when "Charlie," as she eventually names him, starts popping up again and again. Who is Charlie and why does he keep coming back? The answer is going to surprise you.

Shana Hammaker fills her debut story with expertly-crafted characters, gorgeously realistic dialogue and a flurry of fine details other writers wish they were able to create. The fact that she does this in a short story is all the more impressive.

Take my advice and start reading Shana Hammaker's short stories. They're beautifully written, fun and fast, and yeah, a little disturbing, but that's the way I like it! I give Charlie ***** out of *****. Order it from Amazon today, it's under a buck for crying out loud!

Movie Review: Sucker Punch

2011-03-26T05:59:00.002-05:00

Has there been a movie with more anticipation than Zak Snyder's Sucker Punch? I mean this movie is going to be like every fanboy's wet dream, right? You've seen the eye catching stills, you've watched the incredible looking trailer dozens of times and now the movie finally arrives and... well, hmmm.

This review is going to be a little different than my usual because I really don't know what to think about this film. I want to like it, I really do, and sometimes I do, but there is so much wrong with the movie that I find myself leaning the other way as well.

For starters, I thought the special effects were a little less special than I was expecting. Zak Snyder is sorta known for his visual prowess and all that but there's nothing here we haven't seen before and to be honest, a lot of these effects look pretty poorly done. The dragon, for one thing, looks far, far worse than say the dragon in Reign of Fire which was made nine frickin' years ago! The three giant Japanese warriors in the film's first battle sequence were also terribly animated. On the other hand, the part with the German steam soldiers was absolutely fantastic.

In the end, this film suffers from too much animation done way too poorly for my tastes. Now don't get me wrong, I like animation to a degree but it should not leave you thinking, "That's lousy CGI," while you're watching it.

As far as the story goes, there's a good premise here but I felt no connection with characters whatsoever. Sure, they were nice to look at, but at the end of the day I wasn't emotionally involved in Sucker Punch at all. It felt like I was just sitting there watching it. I hate to say it, but that's pretty much what I was expecting anyway, after all, Zak Snyder movies are more style than substance and by now we should all know that going in. What I was excited about was that this was going to be an audio and visual assault on the senses and ultimately while it was a spectacle, it was a poorly executed one.

Sadly, Sucker Punch gets **1/2 out of *****.

Book Review: Frankenstein Lives Again! by Donald F. Glut

2011-03-19T11:50:00.004-05:00

Every so often, you can come across something that takes you back to a time when you were young and full of hope. A time when you looked at certain things with wide-eyed wonder. I can remember times like this, sitting alongside the creek, fishing pole in hand, chewing a huge wad of gum and a comic book or some other book sticking out of the back pocket of my pants. Odds are whatever book it was, it was swollen and warped to no end from being exposed to rain and God knows what else, but you know what? That book was special. It was your own personal escape to another place, another time, another world.

My reason for bringing this up is because as we age, that sense of wonder and excitement slowly degrades. Suddenly, we're adults and we have so much to worry about, we lose all appreciation for those tiny treasures. Well, as I was reading Frankenstein Lives Again! by Donald F. Glut, I have to say, those feelings came rushing back! Of course, I was reading this one on my Kindle, so needless to say, I wasn't sitting along the creek with it hanging out of my back pocket.

Frankenstein Lives Again! is unabashedly a fun book an one that sweeps you away just like those pulp books of yesteryear. And that's exactly what this book is -- pulp! It comes to us from Pulp 2.0, the brilliant publishing house that's striving to keep classics like this available for those of us looking for an escape to lands of adventure filled with busty beauties, evil professors, mad monsters and high flying adventure.

This is the first in a series of reprints labeled The New Adventures of Frankenstein, so there are many more supposedly in the pipeline and I for one am pretty thrilled about that. This is a fast and easy read that doesn't skimp on fast moving adventure. But, let's be frank, this is not Shakespeare (nor Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley for that matter) we're dealing with here, as some of the dialogue is kind of silly, but that's part of this genre's charm, isn't it? If you loved watching Saturday afternoon monster movies on television, or if you got excited every time Abbott and Costello Meet the Wolfman was on Sunday morning or if you were a fan of pulp stories of old, then you're going to love what Pulp 2.0 is doing and you're going to love Frankenstein Lives Again!

Now, on a side note, the copy I was given to review was a Kindle version of the book and it had an extraordinary amount of formatting flaws, but I am confident that by the time this book becomes available to the public that Pulp 2.0 will have these issues fixed.

That said, I had a blast enjoying the new adventures of Frankenstein and truly look forward to his and Pulp 2.0's upcoming adventures. I give Frankenstein Lives Again! **** out of *****.

Oh, and in case you need another reason to buy this book -- it only cost 99 cents for the Kindle!

Movie Review: Chain Letter

2011-03-05T08:18:00.005-05:00

Chain Letter starts out extremely promising, but when I find myself not wanting to spoil the OPENING, that's when I know something went terribly wrong along the way. This story takes the old chain letter urban legend and gives it a nasty twist. If you don't pass the email chain letter to five others, you'll die within 24 hours. If you delete the chain letter, you die almost instantly! To boot, you got killed by some guy with a burned face using CHAINS, get it? Chain letter? Ugh!

Now, there are some pretty cool kill scenes in this movie, but this is one of those times when there's a ton of promise that gets wasted. This could have been a really good slasher film. Instead, we get a convoluted story, a group of 35-year old "teens" (none of which you really wind up liking), a ton of techno-terrorism theories and way too little of Brad Douriff. I mean, you have Brad Douriff in your movie, man, USE HIM, he's awesome!! I wonder who's brilliant idea it was to have the computer say "You've got chain letter email!"? Like the computer knows the difference between chain letters and regular email!

On a more positive note, I really liked the way the film was shot. The camera work and cinematography were pretty impressive and the look and sound design of the movie are well represented on blu ray. It's one of the more sparse blu ray discs I've ever seen as all it contains is the movie and the trailer, no special features to be found anywhere.

Like I said, this movie started out with a bang. The opening scene was expertly shot and really set a stage for the movie that it ultimately failed to live up to. At the end of the day, not much was revealed, too many questions were left unanswered and it wasn't good enough for me to care about finding out the answers should Chain Letter 2: The Missing Link (made up title) be made.

Chain Letter gets *1/2 out of *****. The one and a half stars go to Brad Douriff because he's AWESOME!!

Check out the trailer for Chain Letter below

DVD Review: Bikini Bloodbath Christmas

2011-03-05T07:47:00.003-05:00

We've seen Bikini Bloodbath, Bikini Bloodbath Carwash and now, Thomas Edward Seymour and Jonathan Gorman bring us Bikini Bloodbath Christmas! This film continues the tradition founded in the first two to bring copious amounts of blood and boobies, but unlike the first two, this film has my hero -- Lloyd Kaufman -- in a hilarious cameo. It also features one of my other favorites, Debbie Rochon (although in a much less visible role than the first two features), so needless to say I would have watched anyway.

But what I loved the most about this film was the tour de force acting of one Mr. Dick Boland. Boland is a hilarious actor and he not only shows it here, but in Seymour's previous film, London Betty, as well. Also putting in a brilliantly funny job is Phil Hall, who plays a smarmy character named Gina Davis. I honestly don't know how this film got made because with those two guys acting like they do, I find it hard not to laugh just listening to how they talk.

Like the first two in the series, Bikini Bloodbath Christmas is not for the faint of heart, nor the overly religious, as it has a certain religious figure doing something nobody would ever imagine him doing. But that's how the minds of these guys work, and I for one, wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, how can a movie featuring an up-close visual of explosive diarrhea be bad?

While I did miss Debbie Rochon's lesbian Miss Johnson character, Phil Hall and Dick Boland made this movie irrevocably memorable for me. I give Bikini Bloodbath Christmas **** out of *****.

Check out the trailer below!

Or buy the DVD!!

Book Review: 33 A.D. by David McAfee

2011-02-26T07:34:00.003-05:00

What if vampires were around when Jesus roamed the Jerusalem countryside? That's the premise we find in David McAfee's brilliant novel, 33 A.D. Now, I have to be honest. I bought this book for my Amazon Kindle not because I previously read Mr. McAfee's work, but because it was so damn inexpensive, I couldn't pass it up. I think I got it on sale for like 99 cents or something, but let me tell you, it was the best dollar I ever spent! This book is an action-packed extravaganza of entertainment.

McAfee's story introduces us to a society of vampires living in the age of Jesus. When one of the vampires decides to start following the teachings of this mysterious new Rabbi, the vampire elders send an assassin to dispatch the traitor and take out the Nazarene. What develops is an elaborate plot full of twists and turns that ensures the crucifixion of Jesus in what the vampires hope will eradicate his new threat. Filled with superb characters and crackling violence, this story doesn't relent until the final page is turned and once done, it leaves you wanting more. Thankfully, a sequel is in the works!

33 A.D. is hands-down one of my favorite reads of 2011 thus far. For a genre that's been all but drained of its blood, McAfee has managed to breathe some new life into it by concocting a fresh and original vision. Thanks for this excellent escape from reality Mr. McAfee, and I wait anxiously for your next chapter in this tale. 33 A.D. gets ***** out of *****.

Buy 33 A.D. for your Kindle for just $2.99 by clicking below!

Short Film Review: Gitchy

2011-02-25T08:16:00.009-05:00

He'll make you laugh... till you DIE!! Now, how can you go wrong with a tag line like that? As writer/director Thomas Norman show us, you can't! Gitchy is a short horror/comedy that introduces us to a new independent horror icon, Gitchy the Clown. To be honest, I don't know what's more disturbing, Gitchy's look or the way he talks. When combined, this clown can be downright disturbing.

The plot goes like this: Since the untimely death of their parents, David and Kimberly have had a rough time of it. David has been experiencing mental breakdowns and visions of a 400-pound killer clown. In fact, he believes that his parents were tickled to death by the clown. Kimberly does her best to help David and even gets him professional help, but nothing stops his disturbing dreams. Eventually, everyone connected to David finds out that Gitchy the Clown is all too real.

Gitchy is a very well-made short film. The cinematography is excellent, the sound design is impressive and the pacing is spot on, especially for such a low-budget film and one that clocks in at 32 minutes to boot. The actors do their best, but it's ultimately Gitchy, played by Greg Gale, who steals the show. I think what was most impressive was that Norman took a bare-bones approach to his film, keeping blood and guts to a minimum while upping the ew-factor in more creative ways, like Gitchy's use of whipped cream and the ensuing toe lick. That scene still makes me shudder when I think about it.

All in all, I really liked this short film. It made me laugh, it made me shutter and perhaps most surprisingly, it made me feel like I watched a full length movie. It will be interesting to see what Thomas Norman and his crew do once they expand to long-form film. Gitchy tickles **** out of *****.

Check out the Gitchy trailer:

Movie Review: The Crazies (2010)

2010-06-20T07:30:00.005-05:00

The Crazies is a remake of the 1973 George Romero classic of the same name. Unfortunately, like so many modern remakes, it has very big shoes to fill and it was birthed with tiny baby feet. While not an absolutely terrible movie by a long shot, the 2010 model of The Crazies just feels lackluster, boring and predictable. Also like so many of the modern remakes, it's a slicker, shinier variation of a film that's better off a little grittier and dirtier.

In this version, the residents of the tiny town of Ogden Marsh, Iowa are besieged by an unseen and unknown catalyst that's turning normal, everyday Joes and Janes into bloodthirsty maniacs. The military quickly comes in to try and maintain control and only serves to make matters worse.

The Crazies stars Timothy Olyphant and Silent Hill's Radha Mitchell and they work well as a husband and wife team. Also putting in a nice performance is Joe Anderson as Deputy Clank. Good acting aside, the film suffers from way too many cliches and last second heroics. There's never any sense of real tension and there's only one death that sorta catches you by surprise. The film does have some nice choreography and visuals but that doesn't save this film from just being ho-hum.

Needless to say, I wasn't crazy about the 2010 remake of The Crazies. It gets ** out of *****.

Movie Review: Vindication

2010-06-19T08:07:00.004-05:00

OK, let's talk about escalation. You know that escalating fear you get when you think something is going to happen? It's a feeling in the gut and a tension in the shoulders that tells you something bad is coming up? The tension builds and builds until you can practically no longer stand it. This is exactly the feeling one gets when watching Bart Mastronardi's directorial debut, Vindication.

I'm telling you, I have never felt a movie escalate quite like this one. It is INTENSE! And when it finally comes time for the cork to pop, boy does it!

Vindication is a brilliant portrayal of the darkness and guilt that resides in each one of us and how if damaged enough from the rigors of a terrible life, someone could be susceptible to horrifying actions.

After young Nicolas Bertram attempts suicide, he starts to experience severe guilt, hallucinations and nightmares. He's constantly being prodded by an eyeless, white-faced demon for him to act upon his guilt. Throughout the film, we see the constant struggle Nicolas endures until it gets to the point that he can no longer stand it.

Mastronardi paces the film marvelously, each scene building tension upon the one previous. The film starts with barely any music, and it too escalates as it progresses. I don't know if this was done intentionally or not, but man, it has an incredible impact when you're watching it. And speaking of the music, the score is absolutely fantastic. It completes and accentuates the film perfectly.

Now let's talk acting. Jerry Murdock, Alan Rowe Kelly, Zoe Daelman Chlanda are all excellent in their supporting roles, as are the rest of the cast. But, Keith Fraser's portrayal of Nicolas Bertram was something to see. His expressions and mannerisms screamed torture and his suicide attempt scene in the bathtub was unbelievably intense. It was an unbelievable performance to say the least.

As writer, director and producer of Vindication, Bart Mastronardi has proved himself an incredible talent. He's created a truly unique horror story that doesn't compromise intelligence for gore, although it does have plenty of the red stuff! An incredible debut, I highly recommend Vindication and can't wait to see what's next. Vindication stabs ****1/2 out of *****.

Check out the trailer for Vindication here!

Movie Review: The Human Centipede

2010-06-06T07:16:00.006-05:00

In the last 10 to 15 years, with the success of the Saw and Hostel films, many horror movies have fallen under the moniker "torture porn," in which various people are violently and graphically manipulated through numerous inventive methods. But while these films explode on the screen with blood, guts and relative carnage, are they really scary? OK, the Hostel films do carry a certain "this could really happen" type of fright to them, but they're made more for the gore than psychological terror. So, where does The Human Centipede fall into the mix?

The Human Centipede is not gory. It's not even scary. But, it's one of the most effective horror films of the last 10 years. How can that be? Because this film sits with you long after you see it. The events that transpire are truly horrific. And it's bolstered by the fact that what happens is quite medically possible.

The film centers on two young American girls traveling through Germany. On their way to a party, their car gets a flat on an isolated, wooded road. Rather than stay in their car and wait for a helpful passerby who's not a pervert, they head off into the woods in the pouring rain. They come upon a nice looking house out in the middle of nowhere. It's here they meet Dr. Heiter (brilliantly played by Dieter Laser), a renowned surgeon who specializes in separating conjoined twins.

Herr Doctor isn't quite right in the head as he is planning on using his special talents for joining people these days rather than separating them. And just how does he join them? Ass to mouth! Oh, the humanity!

The Human Centipede is one of those movies that you have to see to believe. You will find yourself recommending it to everybody you know, but you probably won't want to watch it a second time. It's a brilliant example of a true horror movie. ***** out of *****. Check out the trailer below!

Movie Review: A Far Cry From Home

2010-06-05T06:56:00.006-05:00

Holy moly! Where do I begin? A Far Cry From Home is the latest short film from the magnificent Allan Rowe Kelly and it's one of four films included in the Gallery of Fear horror anthology created by Kelly and Anthony G. Sumner. And what a film it is!

A Far Cry From Home centers on a young, gay couple (played by Kelly and Don Money) who stop at a creepy antiques store while taking a shortcut through the wooded backroads of New Jersey. Unbeknown to the couple, the place is inhabited by a family of uber-Christian hillbillies with a severe hatred for people of alternative lifestyles.

Expertly acted, brilliantly paced and incredibly brutal and thought-provoking, A Far Cry From Home is not only Kelly's best film yet, but one can only imagine the havoc he could wreck with a larger budget. This film, small budget aside, has some of the most amazing environments and blood-soaked effects of any independent film I've ever seen.

As usual, this film shares many of the traits of previous Kelly films, like The Blood Shed and I'll Bury You Tomorrow, including expert cinematography, a spine-tingling soundtrack and a stellar cast. In fact, Jerry Murdock puts so much into his character, I have to believe he went home physically and mentally exhausted at the end of each day of filming.

A Far Cry From Home is intense and definitely packs a punch. The film is a testament to what people of alternative lifestyles have to deal with from close-minded people (who happen to make up the vast majority these days). While over-the-top and wrapped in a horror movie setting, it's definitely a statement of the times. Bravo, Alan for having the guts to make this film... and for making it so damn good!

A Far Cry From Home gets ***** out of *****. Check out the trailer below!

DVD Review: Banshee!!!

2010-05-07T07:40:00.003-05:00

I love monster movies, so when I saw the trailer the other day for Banshee!!! (that's right, with three exclamation points), I put it right at the top of my Netflix queue. It arrived yesterday and I had a chance to watch it last night. It was just as I had expected.

Banshee!!! is a fun monster movie that never takes itself too seriously while providing some really decent kill effects that you wouldn't expect from this low-budget of a film. The acting's not that bad either, with Kevin Shea putting in a very credible job. Sure, the rank and file actors aren't the greatest at their craft but that doesn't matter here.

The film follows a group of old-looking college students who go the cheap route and choose to take their spring break out in the woods. Well, it doesn't take long before they're being shredded one by one by a creature that has the ability to shape-change and alter their perception. The computer-generated banshee creature is decent, when it's not the focal point of the scene that is. Shown up up close and personal, it's kind of lame (as the cover proves), but when it's in the background or just off to the side, it's definitely more effective.

The film isn't without its absurdities, like one of the guys having to stop and take a piss with the banshee hot on their tails, or when the aptly-named Rocker kicks the banshee's ass with rock and roll during a music video-like action sequence (which I thought was AWESOME!).

All in all, Banshee!!! delivered exactly what it was selling, and I like it when a film does that. I'm sure other reviewers will pan this movie, but I give it **** out of *****.

Movie Review: The Reeds

2010-04-25T08:25:00.002-05:00

The Reeds is a British horror movie that was featured as part of this year's AfterDark Horrorfest. I finally got around to watching it and well, it's one of those rare films that require two days to really watch it. Why two days, you ask?

Because I fell asleep midway through the first viewing.

Yes, The Reeds really is that boring of a movie. It also features characters that you really don't care about and at times, you find yourself wondering "what the hell's going on?"

The Reeds is about a group of 20-something Brits who plan to spend the day cruising through the reeds of the Norfolk Broads. Eventually, their day of smoking and cavorting turns into a nightmare after they get lost among the reeds and their boat runs aground. The group is terrorized by a gang of young punks (or are they?) as well as being hunted by the killer fisherman (sans hook) from the I Know What You Did Last Summer films. It all comes to a head in an ending that felt like it was just thrown together. It was like the filmmaker's opened the Big Book of Movie Cliches and said, "Yeah, let's go with that one! It's only been used 88,958 times so far!"

The Reeds is a crappy movie and for the life of me I don't know why it was included in the AfterDark Horrorfest as it wasn't the least bit scary. Not recommended (unless you're an insomniac, then it'll work wonders for you!). 0 out of *****.

Book Review: Plague of the Dead by Z. A. Recht

2010-04-09T06:49:00.004-05:00

Zombies are, and have been for some time now, all the rage in the horror genre. From books to movies, the undead are enjoying more success now than at any time in pop culture history. But, with so many variations on a theme, they can't all be good. And this brings us to Plague of the Dead by Z. A. Recht.

Plague of the Dead tells the tale of the zombie apocalypse, how it begins and the tough S.O.B.s that stand on the front lines of the war. Unfortunately, everything in this book is so cliched that at times, I wanted to hurl the book across the room. I'm telling you, there were times I had to close the book in mid-sentence, close my eyes and pray for patience. And this is coming from someone who loves over-the-top, B-grade horror! This book was the single hardest book for me to get through in years.

The story starts out promising enough, but once the Marines come into the picture, forget about it, it's all down hill from there. The dialogue was contrived and stereotypical. It was like all of these guys were withdrawing from steroids or something. And, why fill the book with so many characters whose names start with the letter D? Between the terrible "Marine dialogue" and trying to keep track of all of these similarly-named characters, it was just too much. Not to mention that there is not a single character who's appealing to the reader. When a character dies, who cares? Not me. It's a tough sell when you wish the zombies would take out the supposed good guys because the good guys are all such assholes.

Need another reason I didn't care for this tale of woe? The book is filled with WTF? moments. For instance, there's once scene where the Marines are trying to get into a gun shop because during a reconnaissance, they learned that there were some really old MREs and weapons available in the shop's basement. The leader of the group's like, "We have to get that food if we want to survive!" My first thought was - doesn't this town have a grocery store? I mean, with millions dead (and it all happened so quickly), the grocery aisles should be pretty clear and relatively well-stocked, don't you think?

But the biggest problem with Plague of the Dead is that it doesn't end here. This is the first in a series. If you really, really, really love zombie stories and you won't feel complete unless you see and read every last one of them, then by all means, pick up Plague of the Dead. But, as for me, this was the first book that caused me mental and physical anguish.

Plague of the Dead gets 0 out of *****.

Movie Review: Clash of the Titans

2010-04-05T17:56:00.002-05:00

Growing up as a teenager in the late 70s/80s, there were basically two movies that mattered - Star Wars and Clash of the Titans. While I loved Star Wars, Clash of the Titans always held a special place in my heart as one of my favorites of that era. So, I was filled with anticipation when I heard they were remaking one of my all-time favorites. The possibilities were endless, with modern film making technology capable of incredible feats, this was one film that would be vastly improved over the original, right? I mean, this is a no-brainer. They can't possibly screw this up, right? Uh, right?

Well, to call this movie Clash of the Titans is near to blasphemy in my opinion. This film, with all of its pomp and circumstance takes a giant, Kraken-sized crap all over the original. Not only does it completely disregard the mythology, but it turns it into an unbelievably lousy story.

Rife with crappy acting the likes you have never seen, this version of the film often has the look of a Sci-Fi Channel Saturday night feature. The public settings with all of the people look terrible, cheap and poorly executed. The Gods look like a bunch of hair metal rejects, and what can possibly be frightening about Hades' receding hairline? I mean, this thing is almost a joke. In many ways, the original was not only better, but it had better effects! If you have ever seen the History Channel's Clash of the Gods program, you'll wonder how a show on the History Channel can get their Gods so right and yet this multi-million dollar epic can't.

This film has way too many bad things going for it to list here. So instead, I'll focus on the one good thing it has to offer -- the Kraken. It seemed like all of the film's effect budget went into making the Kraken, and it was quite an impressive sight for all of it's two minutes of screentime.

If you have any love or respect for mythology, or if you have fond feelings for the original film, don't go see this new version of Clash of the Titans. You'll leave the theater very pissed!

Clash of the Titans gets ** out of *****.

Movie Review: Shutter Island

2010-04-05T14:10:00.004-05:00

I'm going to start this review by saying that I've never been much of a Martin Scorsese fan. Or Leonardo DiCaprio for that matter and since they pretty much only work with each other, I haven't had the pleasure of seeing many of their collaborations, which is tallying upwards of around 40 or so, right? Well, Shutter Island, a film about psychopaths locked up on an island, I just couldn't ignore.

Shutter Island is shot extremely well. The style harkens back to the golden age of movies, when men smoked a lot of cigarettes and said things like, "What, are you a wiseguy? Keep it shut, she!" The design of the movie, the score, the screenplay -- it all adds up to a spectacular re-visting of detective noir movies from the 40s and 50s.

Having said that, the film suffers due to two major influences -- Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo. These two don't look comfortable at all working with each other and when they're on the screen together, it looks like two schmoes playing detective. Ruffalo looks bored just being involved and DiCaprio looks like he's trying to get an Oscar video bite out of each second with his ruffled brow and steely-eyed glare. The supporting cast is just great however. It's unfortunate that Scorsese couldn't look beyond his man-love for DiCaprio and get somebody a little better for this particular role. Case in point, John Carroll Lynch, the actor who portrays Deputy Warden McPherson, is miles better and more believable and entertaining in his miniscule role than both Ruffalo and DiCaprio are in theirs.

The film does have its share of twists and turns, it just takes an extremely long time getting there and by the time the end comes, you're just glad the marathon is over. At the end of the day, Shutter Island feels over-expanded and exhausting. I give Shutter Island **1/2 out of *****.

Movie Review: Lake Mungo

2010-04-05T12:40:00.003-05:00

Lake Mungo is one of the films featured in 2010's Afterdark Horror Filmfest. But, don't think that this one is a scare-your-pants-off monster movie. Lake Mungo is barely a whisper of a horror film that relies on the pure emotional distress of losing a child. And that is where the heart of the "horror" lies in this film. Sure, there's a ghost story tied in here, but that was, to me, a sidetrack to the real horror displayed here.

Lake Mungo is an Australian faux-documentary on the accidental death of 16-year old Alice Palmer and how her death impacted her family. All of the actors here are incredibly believable and if one wasn't already aware that this is, in fact, fiction, it would be easy to believe that what we are seeing is real.

Not long after Alice's death, strange things begin occurring at her family's house. Her brother, Matthew, catches odd images in his pictures and videos that lead the family to believe that their daughter is either still alive or haunting their home.

As the movie progresses, the family discovers things about their daughter that they never knew. This is where the film took a turn for me as many of the "discoveries" were extremely convenient and in truth, didn't add anything to the film. If anything, it stole some of the fire from the family's plight.

Lake Mungo was a disturbing movie, no, maybe "unsettling" is a better word to describe this movie, especially if you have a teenager of your own. But, for those looking for a strong ghost story, look elsewhere. I give Lake Mungo *** out of *****.

DVD Review: The Good Sisters

2010-03-18T07:04:00.004-05:00

The other day, I received a screener for the film The Good Sisters. The insert that was included with the disc, proudly proclaiming that what I held in my hands was the hot, psycho-sexual director's cut of the movie. Well, it had my attention, that's for sure! But while watching the film, I was sort of taken aback, but not in the way you might think.

The Good Sisters is the latest film by Jimmyo Burril and it stars his wife, April Monique Burril (of Chainsaw Sally fame) and iconic scream queen, Debbie Rochon. While I was prepared for film to be highly sexual, what I wasn't prepared for was for the film to be as good as it wound up being. In fact, for all the sexual proclamations, the particularly hot scene in question is near the end of the film and it fits perfectly within the context of the movie. This is not a movie filled with gratuitous nudity as one might imagine.

The Good Sisters is a film about two sisters, Breanne and Kindra, who are 10th generation descendants of a witch. With their kind being hunted and persecuted for hundreds of years, the girls live in a constant state of paranoia, which is heightened when they start to believe that one of their neighbors is a witch hunter. In fact, they start to question everyone who lives around them in their small apartment complex. The paranoia is fed when the sisters find messages like, "Suffer not a witch to live" and "We are watching you" written in chalk near their home. As one watches the film, you do start to question which one of these apartment dwellers are responsible for the psychological attacks. Without divulging too much, eventually, the suspicion gets the most of the sisters and they turn to their craft for help.

The first thing about this film you notice is how comfortable Debbie and April are working with each other, and this comfort is significant in lending their sisterhood a believable feel. Also realistic is the film's use of witchcraft. I was impressed with the authenticity of the spells (actual spells were used in the film), and it's portrayal of the modern day witch was spot on.

As I watched The Good Sisters, I was continually impressed with how Jimmo crafted this film. He must have put in many hours of research before he even wrote a single line of this script, and that level of dedication definitely comes through.

I'll tell you what, even the film's soundtrack is perfectly suited for it, as it constantly keeps one feeling a little on edge throughout the movie, much like the characters on screen. Funny how big budget Hollywood films about witchcraft are so overblown and unrealistic, yet this little gem made on a shoestring budget can be so authentic.

That's the big difference here, folks, and this is why independent films will forever be my favorite type of film to watch. From Jimmo and April to Debbie and rest of the gang, they worked hard to get it right, and in The Good Sisters, that work pays off!

The Good Sisters gets ****1/2 out of *****. The director's cut of The Good Sisters will be available on April 27, 2010, so go out and get a copy!

DVD Review: Carriers

2010-03-12T06:22:00.003-05:00

The other day, I reviewed the end-of-the-world spectacle, 2012, in which I had mentioned that there was no emotional feeling in regards to the devastation that was occurring all around the characters. Here, in Carriers, we have another such film where only a few survivors are left after a terrible plague hits the planet. Let's see how this one pans out.

First, let me start off by saying, Carriers portrays a much more realistic vision of what can happen to people put in this situation (for the most part). Trust issues arise. Decisions have to be made between helping others or leaving them to fend for themselves. That said, the movie is still really lacking something. And for me, it all has to do with the characters.

My biggest complaint is with the character played by Chris Pine. This guy rubs me the wrong way, and if I were one of the last few left on the planet, I would probably eventually have to kill him off. I would say, "This here world is mighty big now that we're the only ones left. Even still, there's no room for assholes." KABLAMMO! Of course, when I utter my memorable line, I say it with Sam Elliott's voice so it's more authentic. The characters you care for the most, the dad with the little sick girl, should have been the focus of this movie instead of the four deuchebags we're left watching.

Besides the characters, the film's other downfall is that it leaves a ton of loose ends all throughout the movie, which I won't go into for spoiler reasons. But, it also doesn't explain much either. For example -- who is the second girl, where did they pick her up and why won't she tell them her last name? Why, after the one guy shoots a dog that was eating a corpse, does he not get infected after the blood gets all over him? How can a big gas-guzzling SUV drive across the desert on a single can of gas? How did the plague start? Why is Chris Pine's character still alive? Why, after cleaning a car's interior with liquid bleach, is no one's clothing faded? How can the guys in truck NOT see the protagonist's bonfire in the pitch black night of the desert? And who were the guys in the truck? There are just too many improbabilities here!

You know what, the more I think about it, the less I like this movie. It's better than 2012, not that that's saying much, but not by far. I give Carriers ** out of *****.

Movie Review: Dead Snow

2010-03-10T06:56:00.002-05:00

The snow's just about all melted here in South Jersey and Spring is right around the bend, so I thought there's no better time than now to check out Dead Snow.

Dead Snow is a Norwegian zombie pic that has its tongue set firmly in cheek. The story follows a group of twenty-somethings as they head out into the mountains for a vacation of snow games, beer and sex. While waiting on the cabin's owner, Sara, to make her way across the mountain on foot, the rest of the group arrive at the cabin early and in the meantime have an encounter with an old grizzled local who proceeds to warm them about the "evil that lurks in these mountains."

He goes on to tell them the story of a group of Nazis who terrorized the town during World War II. Eventually, the locals had enough of the torture and revolted against the Germans. Most of the Nazis were killed, but a group escaped into the mountains, including their general, Herzog. Local legend has it that the Nazis are still up in those hills, killing and torturing any and all who they happen across. Of course, the kids think nothing of it and the old guy goes on his way. Why Sara's family never knew about the evil presence right outside their cabin door is unknown, but I digress.

Anyway, what we wind up having is a group of Norwegian kids taking on droves of Nazi zombies in a blood-filled homage to many a horror film, most notably, the Evil Dead.

Dead Snow is not perfect by any means, but its positives greatly outweigh its negatives. The film is beautifully shot, nicely acted and the gory effects are just fantastic. Overall, the movie was just plain fun to watch.

Dead Snow gets **** out of *****.

DVD Review: 2012

2010-03-09T08:02:00.003-05:00

I love end-of-the-world epics! And with 2012, we're expecting the be-all, end-all of Armageddon films, right? I mean, it's made by that dude who just loves to blow stuff up! No, not Michael Bay, that other guy, whatshisname, the guy who ruined Godzilla... Roland Emmerich, yeah that's him!

Well, I'm sad to say, he ruined the end of the world, too.

Here's the thing. This is the END OF THE WORLD (as we know it) we're talking about. This film has absolutely no emotion whatsoever. Plus, what's worse, it's filled with stupid WTF moments, like a guy who doesn't know how to fly a plane all of a sudden becoming a top gun pilot capable of avoiding falling buildings and flying through pinpricks of open space! Talk about being in the zone, WTF!?

This film is chock full of idiotic things like that. I can just imagine the screenplay for this film. It must read like this:

John Cusack falls into a crevice... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

John Cusack is underwater, unable to breathe... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

John Cusack is driving the 1972 Winebago 150 mph down a mountain, with a wall of fire nipping at his tailpipe... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE...

At the hour and a half point of the movie, I'm ready to turn this thing off... WHEN AT ALL OF A SUDDEN, I... realize there's still over an hour of this drivel to go.

At the end of the day, here's hoping that when the end of the world does come, it's nowhere near as long or as torturous as watching this lump! 0 out of *****. Do you see that tagline at the top of the movie poster? Yeah, we WERE warned! We just didn't learn after The Thirteenth Floor, 10,000 BC, The Day After Tomorrow, etc., etc.

Movie Review: The Graves

2010-02-28T13:32:00.004-05:00

Let me start off by saying I was really excited to see The Graves. After all, it stars Bill Moseley, Tony Todd and features a cameo by one of my favorite bands, Calabrese, so how bad can it be, right? Well, let's count the ways...

For starters, The Graves is way too long. It would have been great as a half-hour short story, but as an hour and a half film, it feels like director Brian Pulido just stretched it out like a friggin' Stretch Armstrong doll.

Next, the acting is really tough to watch here, with the exception of Shane Stevens (Jonah) and Tony Todd (Reverend Abraham). They were at least fun to watch. The two primary players, the Graves girls, played by Jillian Murray and Clare Grant, may have been easy on the eyes, but their acting was tough to sit through. There's one scene where Grant's character, Megan, is trying to escape from Bill Moseley; she crawls halfway up the hill and slides back down...not once, but three times! That scene is a perfect example of what it's like watching The Graves.

And speaking of Bill, I don't know what Rob Zombie did to Moseley to get him to act the way he did in the Devil's Rejects, but nobody has been able to tap into that well of genius ever since.

On a positive note, the film's music was pretty good. I loved the song that played over the opening credits, and I even liked the little ditty that played over and over and over again at the entrance to the Skull City mine (where all this takes place).

For me, The Graves was all over the place like an armadillo on an Arizona highway in July. By the end, I was getting antsy, praying for the credits to roll already. And that's no way to feel when watching a horror movie. I give The Graves * out of *****.

CD Review: Hellbilly Deluxe 2 by Rob Zombie

2010-02-27T06:53:00.003-05:00

Rob Zombie, that multimedia master of horror, is back with his first brand new album since the disappointing effort that was 2006's Educated Horses. It's been four long years since we've heard new music from Rob and with the release of this album, fans longing for some down-n-dirty, groovin-n-movin tunes are hoping he gets back on track.

Here's the gristle -- Hellbilly Deluxe 2, the supposed sequel to 1998's fantastic Hellbilly Deluxe, is nowhere near up to par. I'm terribly sad to say this album sounds like these tunes were leftovers from the Educated Horses album.

The album's highlights, for me, are the songs What? and Werewolf Women of the SS, and I don't even particularly love either one of these either. The album starts off with Jesus Frankenstein, and to be honest, I was liking that tune until he got to the chorus. That shitty-ass chant totally throws the song off rhythm and turns it from a decent jam into a hard to listen to turd.

I don't know, ever since Zombie started doing films, his music has suffered. This is hard for me to write because I love Rob Zombie. I think he's a true original, but I just don't like this CD. And to boot, he caps the recording off with a nearly 10-minute song that features a drum solo through most of it. Now, who the hell puts a drum solo in a song that's NOT on a live album? And to make matters even worse, the drum solo totally sucks! There are eleven year old kids on YouTube that can pound the skins more impressively. The song, titled The Man Who Laughs, might just be about Rob himself, as he's pulled the wool over the eyes of those who thought this was going to be anything like Hellbilly Deluxe. Oh, what a cruel, cruel joke.

Hellbilly Deluxe 2, like most sequels (with the exception of Devil's Rejects, of course), is substandard. It gets ** out of *****.

Movie Review: The Collector

2010-02-26T06:03:00.002-05:00

When I sat down to watch The Collector, I was in a rare state of having no expectations about the film I was about to watch. This movie was out a while ago, and it basically came and went without much fanfare, so I really didn't have any idea of what I was in for. And I must say, man, was I glad I didn't know what I was in for!

The Collector took me surprise. This is as well-made a slasher story as I've seen in quite a while. But even more than that, The Collector is rife with tension, which is greatly accentuated by the heart pounding (literally) soundtrack and exceptional cinematography. Watching it, I realized that I haven't felt this level of tension in a film since I saw David Moreau's French masterpiece, Them.

The plot of the film follows ex-con Arkin as he attempts to settle his ex-wife's debt by robbing his new employer's home when they're supposed to be away on a vacation. But, once Arkin is inside the home, he realizes he's not alone. There's somebody far worse inside the house with him.

Now, as much as I loved The Collector, the film is not perfect. There are some things that make you say, "Now, how did he..." and "What the..." But overall, this is a truly enjoyable film that really deserves a larger following. Screenwriters Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan did some collecting of their own, as you can see certain aspects of some other great horror films at work here, not the least of which are the Saw movies, which they also happened to co-write (from part IV on).

As the horror genre has become slogged down with crappy remakes, re-imaging or whatever you want to call it, it's exciting to see fresh, new blood on the serial killer scene. The Collector is a fun ride, one filled with blood, guts and edge-of-your-seat tension. I give The Collector ****1/2 out of *****.

CD Review: Calabrese III: They Call Us Death by Calabrese

2010-02-22T14:57:00.003-05:00

A couple of years ago, I took a shot and ordered a CD called 13 Hallowe'ens from a then-unknown horror rock band called Calabrese. To say my socks were blown off is an understatement. These guys kicked serious ass!! In fact, they got my first-ever six-star review. Then, in 2008, I got their second release, The Traveling Vampire Show and it too garnered a six star rating. So now, here it is, 2010 and Calabrese is back with their third effort, Calabrese III: They Call Us Death. Will the guys from Arizona, voted the World's Best Horror Rock Band, continue their trend? Let's see, shall we?

The first thing I noticed about the new CD is that the packaging is simply incredible. The artwork on the digipak is better than ever, and dare I say it, way better than you find on an artist who's backed by a major label. This is just top quality stuff here. But all that's just window dressing. What about the tunes, man?

On Calabrese III, the Calabrese brothers come to kick you in the ass, forget taking names, they aren't interested in that - they're out for blood! And man, do they get it! The songs on this disc are harder, faster and grittier than anything they've put out thus far. Get one thing straight, this ain't fancy, howdy-do music here. It's in your face, punch you in the gut rock and roll, baby!

I've said it before that Calabrese is more than a horror rock band. They're an ass-kicking rock and roll band! That said, their songs are more sinister, evil and demented than ever so you've got to give them props on the horror-scale! Remember back when that panty-waste Axl said he wanted to see you bleed? Well, Calabrese is looking for bucket loads of the red stuff, and boy do they get what they came for. Might as well make it an even 6-6-6 -- ****** out of *****! Quite simply the best from the best!

Short Film Review: Contact

2010-02-20T09:22:00.002-05:00

Contact is a new short film directed by indie horror master, Jeremiah Kipp. To say that the film leaves an indelible mark is somewhat of an understatement. I mean, is there a director working today who can do more with 11 minutes of film? I dare say not!

Contact is an artistic and visually stunning display of workmanship, from the gritty black and white color of the film to the perfectly accentuated music, this is like high couture art house horror. The viewer is simply mesmerized and for the next 11 minutes, we're in Kipp's hands, the world around us, oblivion.

Perhaps what makes this film so remarkable is that it contains practically no dialogue. Facial expressions and music show us the core of this story, which in the end, the viewer is left to their own conclusions. The film stars Zoe Daelman Chlanda and Robb Leigh Davis as the two principal characters with brilliant turns by Allen Rowe Kelly, Katherine O'Sullivan, Tom Reid and Danny Lopes in supporting roles.

While watching this film, I was reminded of one of Kipp's earlier works, The Pod. Contact felt like a stripped-down, or un-plugged, version of that earlier movie. In Contact, the emotion of what's happening on screen are displayed in their rarest and rawest form.

In the end, after watching Contact, the viewer is left near breathless. Never before have I watched 11 minutes of film and felt as is if I had watched an entire movie. That's a truly remarkable experience and another reason why Jeremiah Kipp is one hell of a director.

I give Contact ***** out of *****. Want to see it for yourself, check it out HERE!

DVD Review: London Betty

2010-02-14T08:03:00.003-05:00

London Betty, the latest movie by independent filmmaker Thomas Edward Seymour, is one the films that I have been anticipating to see in 2010. It has done very well on the indie award circuit, having grabbed Best Connecticut Film at the Silk City Film Festival, Best Feature Film at the Accolade Film Competition as well as receiving the Underground Spirit Award at the New Haven Underground Film Festival. Not to mention the fact that these guys even got Clint Howard to do the narration on the film, Broadway starlet Nicole Lewis to star in it and Daniel Von Bargen to play a part as well. And with Seymour's past efforts being some of my favorite independent films (Land of College Prophets, Bikini Bloodbath, etc.), needless to say, I was stoked when I found it in my mailbox.

London Betty tells the tale of a girl (Betty) who comes to America from England in search of a job as a journalist for a reputable newspaper. Instead, she finds herself working for a recluse (Von Bargen), making friends with thieves, whores and a tranvestite ex-soldier, getting kidnapped, fighting for her life and more.

This film, like Seymour's past efforts, is filled with hilarious characters, each of which is wonderfully acted by the usual cast of actors, including Seymour himself, Russ Russo, Dick Boland, Phil Hall, Philip Guerette and Matt Ford. But what sets this film apart is that it shows a more mature directorial effort as the quality of the film is simply the best that Seymour has produced thus far. From his earlier efforts through London Betty, each film shows a progression in his experience as a filmmaker and this film has the awards to prove it.

Do yourself a favor and check out London Betty. This is a hilarious film that's definitely worth watching. I've been saying it for years that truly original movies are not coming out of Hollywood any more. They're being done by the independent filmmakers who unfortunately don't get the recognition they deserve. London Betty is a perfect example of my belief. With an excellent story, engaging characters and a few plot twists, London Betty is a fun movie to watch. And just wait until you get a load of Sgt. "Barbara" Stone!

Oh, and for fans of Land of College Prophets, keep your eyes peeled and you just might catch a glimpse of The Well That Ate Children. Nice touch!

London Betty gets ****1/2 out of *****. Mmmm...Tasty!

Book Review: Under the Dome by Stephen King

2010-02-10T07:00:00.003-05:00

What can you say about Stephen King? Like a fine wine, he gets better with age. And King's latest tome of a novel is one of his best. Under the Dome is a brilliant story that unfolds over a week or so in the tiny Maine town of Chester's Mill, where on a bright sunny day in October, a mysterious dome settles over the town, cutting off those within from the outside world.

The story brings us into the lives of those under the dome and we discover many secrets along the way. We share the fear, the heartache and the general pissed-offedness of Chester's Mill's residents. We follow Dale Barbara, the ex-lieutenant from the war in Iraq, Julia Shumway, the town's scrappy newspaper editor, James Rennie, Chester's Mill's Second Selectman (and one downright evil cotton-picking son of a buck) and a hundred or so others.

Yes, at over a thousand pages, the novel is large. But King writes this story like it's no big deal, and that's where the beauty lies. Start reading Under the Dome and you will become a townie. You will feel as if you are there. And that's the hardest trick of all for a writer to pull off, but this is why King is one of the greats.

In my opinion, Stephen King is the literary world's George Romero. Like Romero's zombie movies, King's tales have an underlying message relating to current-day, real-life issues. Sure, it may be covered by blood and guts, but the message is there. At its core, Under the Dome sheds a light on the all-too real horrors that are of growing concern in this country, such as the damage to the environment and power-hungry politicians with one hand on a gun and the other on a bible. King shows us how bad things can get, and how quickly, when the situation allows it. As entertaining as Under the Dome is, it is equally a sobering and contemplative piece of work. No, there are no monsters, but King shows us that sometimes, humans can be quite horrific if the situation is right, and in his work, Stephen King never lies, my friend, he never lies.

Read Under the Dome. It's a literary work of art that may change the way you view the world and those around you. Believe me, you'll never look at ants the same way again. Under the Dome gets ***** out of *****.

Movie Review: The Road

2010-02-09T07:11:00.004-05:00

What will the world be like when the end comes? When life as we know it ceases to exist and all we're left with is a barren wasteland and very few survivors? The Road gives us an extremely realistic vision of what's probably sure to be our future if Sarah Palin ever gets in the White House.

Based on Cormac McCarthy's bestselling novel, The Road follows the plight of a father and son as they make their way across the dead land to get to the sea. Every day is a struggle to stay alive. Cannibals roam the land, people have become even more self serving than normal and the physical toll on their bodies alone proves to be overwhelming. While the screen is filled with amazing images of destruction and isolation, at its heart, The Road is a love story. It tells the story of a father's love for his son and the lengths he will go to to protect him.

As for the film itself, I was amazed at the job accomplished by director John Hillcoat. This film looked like the end had come. The settings were just incredible. In fact, it's my opinion that the environment was the film's star. The barren woods, the ruined buildings, the rusted-out vehicles -- it was incredibly realistic, and to be quite honest, sobering. And Viggo Mortenson's portrayal of the father lends an unrelenting truth to the story being played out on screen. It was also nice to see Robert Duvall put in just an incredible performance as the old man, Eli. His time on screen was brief, but he was mesmerizing to watch.

The soundtrack for The Road was perfectly scored by Nick Cave and Warren Ellis, masters at creating moody, melancholy music that is truly a musical representation of what's happening on the screen. Their work, as usual, fits the emotion of the film perfectly and I don't think there are any other composers working today that could have done a better job with this material.

As you can probably tell, I liked The Road a lot. The only thing I really didn't care for, unfortunately, was the ending. I felt came a little too quickly and in regards to the story, I felt it didn't really fit.

The Road is not the feel good movie of the year, but it does represent a startlingly realistic vision of what lies ahead for us if we don't get our heads out of our asses. I give The Road **** out of *****.

Movie Review: The Lovely Bones

2010-02-06T09:09:00.003-05:00

I was mildly surprised when I heard Peter Jackson was going to be directing The Lovely Bones, but now that I've seen it, I have to go on record as saying that he is one of this generation's most gifted directors. Now, that was probably already evident because of what he did the The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but those were one type of picture; this is another type of film entirely.

Based on the novel by Alice Sebold (which I didn't read so I have no idea how loyal the film is), The Lovely Bones is a heartbreaking, realistic and frightening film that works on many different levels. As a parent, this is the most horrific type of film you can watch (even though Jackson left all of the gruesome happenings off-camera). Even still, it's like a punch to the gut.

For those who don't know the premise, it's the story of a teenage girl who gets abducted and killed by one of her neighbors. Her spirit resides in the In Between where she watches as her family tries to cope with her death and her father tries to find her killer. She's torn between her want for vengeance and wishing her family could heal.

The Lovely Bones is masterfully paced, brilliantly acted, especially by Stanley Tucci and Saoirse Ronan (who I think should have gotten an Oscar nom), and one of the best major movies of 2009 in my opinion. For the life of me, I can't see how Peter Jackson wasn't nominated for a Best Director Oscar for this remarkable film.

I give The Lovely Bones ***** out of *****. Why 5 stars? Because I'm a cold hearted bastard who rarely gets emotionally moved by movies, yet this one did just that.

Movie Review: Legion

2010-02-01T07:07:00.004-05:00

I must admit, I'm a fan of apocalyptic stories. And I also love tales of good versus evil. But, what about an apocalyptic story of good versus good? Well, that's kind of what we have in Legion. You see, God has given up on mankind because we pretty much suck (He's a little late to the party, but I digress). So, He has a temper tantrum and decides to send his angels down to Earth to open up a can of whoop-ass. There's one particular baby God has instructed his "legion" to kill. Unfortunately for Him, the Archangel Michael loves the humans so much that he gets here before God's army to help protect the unborn baby. So, it's a machine gun-totting Michael and a rag-tag group of ordinary folks stranded at a desert truck stop versus God's army.

"Professional" film critics pretty much panned Legion for its tired premise (which is similar in tone to the TV show Supernatural), lackluster acting and poor script, but I'm here to say, the hell with that! You know what? I liked Legion. I thought it was a fun escape on a Saturday afternoon and well, isn't that what a movie experience is supposed to be about? There's plenty of action, some chuckles here and there, yeah, some deadpan acting, but hey, this isn't supposed to be high-class theatre. If you're looking for high couture filmmaking, get a ticket to the thespian-filled When in Rome for Christ's sake. I mean, the poster alone, with the angel holding a knife in one hand and an uzi in the other should tell you this isn't Brokeback Mountain.

As much as I liked Legion, the film is not without its own share of problems. For starters; why is it that angels speak with British accents? Are all of God's top advisors from across the pond? And, if these are angels coming to kick ass and take names, why do they look like demons? And if they're angels, why do they curse and say terribly insulting things before trying to bite our throats out with pointy baby teeth? They're not exactly acting angelic!

Look, if you like films that provide a simplistic escape from everyday life for an hour and a half, then Legion is a fun-filled ride. If you're looking to come out of the theater with your life changed after witnessing a moving, well-acted masterpiece, then forget about it. I give Legion ***1/3 out of *****, exploding lesions and all.

Movie Review: Daybreakers

2010-01-30T07:13:00.004-05:00

Daybreakers is a futuristic take on the vampire genre, and while it certainly has some pitfalls along the way, it's ultimately not a bad movie. In a world where vampires have overrun the population, food is becoming scarce (food in this case being humans). There's just not a lot of us left. So, an enterprising company (sleazily played by Sam Neill) has started harvesting humans as blood donors (this is the contraption you see in the movie poster above). Meanwhile, the company has some top-of-the-line vampire scientists trying to come up with a suitable blood substitute (one that doesn't cause the user to violently explode, that is!).

And in this story, when the vampires don't get blood on a regular basis, they recede into hideous, demonic creatures that are forced to live in the subbterranean levels of the city. They're looked upon as an entirely separate class of people and despised by the good-looking vampires.

Heading up the blood substitute program is cigarette-fiend, Edward Dalton (played rather gloomy by Ethan Hawke). Edward is feeling down that the humans are all but being eradicated. Like Frank Castanza as he's fighting for the Christmas doll for George, he feels "There's gotta be a better way!"

Thankfully, Edward smokes so much inside his car with the windows up that he doesn't see an oncoming car filled with escaping humans. They crash, he helps them avoid the cops and eventually, they meet up a little later and he joins their coalition, led by Lionel "Elvis" Cormac (played by the seriously cool Willem Dafoe). It's the goal of this coalition to find a "true" cure for the vampiric condition, which of course, the bad vamps don't really want.

This film has its good and bad moments. For me, I wish they would have spent more time on the undercity dwellers as that was an interesting twist in an otherwise tired genre. I also didn't think there was as much action or gore as many other reviews of the film have touted. I don't know, when I read a review that says the film was a gore-fest, I kind of expect it to be. This was a well made vampire drama with some action scenes and a couple of scenes where the wetworks fly. And to tell you the truth, Edwards chain-smoking was kind of ridiculous to me, not that I care about him smoking, but it was almost as if Marlboro financed the damn thing. Even still, it was a decent film and one that really shows the growth of the Spierig Brothers as filmmakers.

I give Daybreakers *** out of *****.

Vote for London Betty!!

2009-04-30T07:47:00.003-05:00

Please take a minute of your time and visit http://www.nypost.com/spsections/hoboken/. Vote for Thomas Edward Seymour's latest film, London Betty. It looks hilarious! It only takes a second to vote, so come on, help out a true independent filmmaker.

DVD Review: Shuttle

2009-04-11T10:40:00.007-05:00

If we as moviegoers ever put much weight on the plot lines in many of today's horror films, we'd never go on vacation. The difference this time, however; is that the terror happens after the victims return home to American soil. As two girls arrive home from their weekend trip to Mexico, they unwittingly accept a shuttle ride home for half the price of another bus. They are joined on the ride by two dudes (who you can tell right away are just going to be used as meat). Also on the bus is a weird older guy and of course, the driver (who looks and sounds like Tobin Bell's younger brother).

The film starts out promising enough, but then, it takes a wrong turn. The characters begin doing stupid things they shouldn't be doing while not doing the things they really should be doing. After a while, it gets really absurd and quite boring. Clocking in at over an hour and forty minutes, this is an exhaustive ride (and not in a good way). Shave about twenty minutes off of this thing and maybe we got a movie, but as is, this film plods along like a bus with four flats. This thing is so long and slow, they should have called it "18-Wheeler" instead of Shuttle. This film, like most shuttles, shows up late, has no idea where it's going and costs way too much (as in my time!).

DVD Review: Isle of the Damned

2008-12-09T18:45:00.006-05:00

I don't care how you do it, you have to see Isle of the Damned! Simply put, I pissed myself laughing watching this movie. This is a true work of art.

Wigs, fake mustaches, seventies porn music, exaggerated dubbing, overblown violence and mutilation never looked so good as it does in this hilarious send up of classic Italian cannibal films. Written by Mark Leake and directed by Mark Colegrove, Isle of the Damned had me laughing from the opening credits all the way through the final scene. I can't say that of any other movie.

Two standout performances are that of Keith Tveit Langsdorf and Larry Gamber. Langsdorf's portrayal of Alexis Kincaid is truly memorable, especially the scene on the log when he reaches out to his fallen comrade and his hat flies off his head to reveal a huge, Don King-like wig. And when Gambler's Jack Steele tells young Billy, "We're gonna try, Billy. We're gonna try." you just can't help it but roll in laughter.

If you haven't guessed it by now, I loved Isle of the Damned, penis mutilations, torn up babies and all. This may just be my favorite film of the year. Look for it to be showing in some limited engagements in the early part of 2009. I give Isle of the Damned ***** out of *****!!

DVD Review: Bikini Bloodbath Carwash

2008-12-09T18:34:00.005-05:00

Hmmm...bikinis, carwashes and bloodbaths? YES! The gang over at Bloodbath Pictures once again set out to titilate their audience with a second helping of boobs, bad words and blood and I, for one, couldn't be happier for it! In BBB2, Chef Death is accidentally raised from the dead to once again wreak havoc on a group of rather old-looking teens. The makers of this film really took on their sequel with vigor -- twice as many boobs in the opening sequence, twice as much Debbie Rochon and twice as much dancing!

Let's be honest, the dancing could have been cut down a bit, but I have to admit that the image of a blond-wig-wearing Russ Russo doing a frenetic breakdancing routine is forever etched on my retinas. And the homage to Michael Jackson's "Beat it!" was simply genius!

With more references to classic horror films (Aliens, Jaws and more) than you can shake a cleaver at, Bikini Bloodbath Carwash is just plain fun to watch. And Debbie Rochon rocks! Gather up a few friends, grab a few kegs and enjoy this film. In the words of Ms. Rochon, "Get me a beer, bitch!" BBB2 carves up **** out of *****.

CD Review: Not Everybody Gets a Happy Ending by Die So Fluid

2008-10-22T17:53:00.002-05:00

When you first lay your eyes on Grog, the lead singer of Die So Fluid, you'll be mesmerized. Then, when you hear her voice, you'll have your ass handed to you bloody and beaten. How in the world a girl who looks like that can sound the way she does is beyond me but I'll tell you one thing -- I'm glad she does, because I've just found a favorite new band!

Hailing from London, England, this trio is as powerful a band as you'll ever hear. Every note is absolute perfection on this, their sophomore disc. Here, Grog and her bandmates, Mr. Drew and Al Fletcher, bring rock and roll to an entirely new level. I know I may be gushing, but it's not often one hears something utterly new and remarkable. From the crunching opening track, "Gang of One" to the final, title track, the listener is taken on an audio journey of pounding rythyms, driving guitars and awe-inspiring vocals. My personal faves are the epic "Vorvolaka" and the brilliant track, "The Kiss and Then The Kick." I can't say it enough, listen to this band, get this CD and welcome to the beginning of something special. What's even better? Die So Fluid is currently on tour in the U.S., so check them out live if you possibly can. I give Not Everybody Gets a Happy Ending ***** out of *****. If you need more pursuasion to check them out, their video for the single, "Existential Baby" is below.

Die So Fluid - Existential Baby
by drongodrew

DVD Review: Stalking Hand

2008-10-22T17:33:00.003-05:00

With its hokey special effects, overzealous acting and Scooby-Doo sound effects, Stalking Hand: A Scary Movie! is an independent gem of a horror comedy! I have to admit, when I first glanced the trailer online, I had my misgivings. But as I watched the film, I discovered that even though the budget had to have been less than what's in the change compartment in my van, director Lou Vocknell and his cronies (not to be confused with Obama's or McCain's) had to have put a tremendous amount of love and attention in this baby.

One of the things I was immediately impressed with was the quality of the audio on this disc. There's nothing I hate more than a bad sound recording, and it is one of the most common fatalities in low budget films, but the audio track on Stalking Hand is quite clean, clear and crisp. The acting, as I said, is ham city, but with this type of film, it fits perfectly. All in all, I have to say that Stalking Hand was one of the better films I've watched as of late. Even though the film is filled with death, dismemberment and a rotting, disembodied hand, Stalking Hand is like a breath of fresh air. I give Stalking Hand ****1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Home Sick

2008-10-04T08:12:00.004-05:00

With Bill Moseley and Tom Towles, two Devil's Rejects veterans, how can Home Sick be bad, right? Ugh, if only it wasn't true! This film is the ultimate love/hate relationship. There were certain things I loved and a ton of things I hated, and oddly enough, sometimes they were the same things!

Home Sick follows a group of druggie slackers who happen to have an unexpected visitor crash their party(?). This group is supposed to be friends, but with friends like these... Anyway, Mr. Suitcase, as he's called, asks everybody at the party to name someone they hate. After they mention the name, he takes a razor blade and cuts his forearm. The last guy he asks says, "I don't know...everybody in this room, man!" Gee, thanks pal! Needless to say, everyone who was mentioned starts getting killed off in some wonderfully gruesome ways (these parts were impressive). Sadly, this is the only scene with Bill Moseley. The film never goes into why he does what he does. Now, it's up to the slackers, who include a group of comatose poop heads and a girl who smokes two cigarettes at once (does she know how much they cost?) to figure out how to stop the demon on their trail.

The highlight of this film is definitely Tom Towles' performance and the scene at his kitchen table, which was hilarious. Other than that, this film was dismal, with a weird cast of characters who at times were fun to watch and other times, excruciating to watch. Home Sick vomits ** out of *****.

DVD Review: Side Sho

2008-09-23T17:18:00.004-05:00

Oh, those damn carnies! Can't they ever catch a break? Why is it that roadside attractions are always the setting for murder, mayhem and monstrosities in the movies? No wonder they no longer decorate the landscape any more. We've been hoodwinked and hornswaggled into believing we'll die if we visit one!

Anyway, here we have the latest side show horror film called creatively enough, Side Sho. For a minute there, I thought this was another one of Full Moon's "urban horror movies." But nothing of the like! I admit that as the film started, I had my doubts. But after about a half an hour, I was glad that I stuck around for the ride. Side Sho actually wound up being a decent little film. Not perfect and not great by no stretch of the imagination, but more than entertaining enough. The story follows a family, led by a photobug father who just has to take pictures of every roadside attraction he can find. Unfortunately, when he stops by this side show, he gets more than he bargained for, including a forest full of inbred ex-cons, a dog-boy and a handful of freaks. Oh yeah, and I did chuckle at the Evil Dead homage. Darn tootin', this here Side Sho wasn't half bad! I give it *** out of *****, fo sho!

DVD Review: The Lodge

2008-09-23T17:03:00.002-05:00

Now, I don't know about you, but when I rent a gorgeous lodge for the weekend in a remote area, the last thing I feel comfortable with is having the lodge's owner hanging around the entire time. And I certainly wouldn't share a smoke with him and tell him how I just got some "afternoon delight" from my hottie girlfriend a mere 25 minutes after meeting him. Not only that, but the duchebag in question here also goes on to tell the creepy caretaker how his girl is an animal in bed. Hmmm, do you see anything wrong with that picture?

Despite the ridiculous dialogue and contrived attempts at creating an atmosphere of dread, The Lodge is not ALL that bad. Hell, I at least finished it! Although that may have more to do with the gorgeous scenery that was interspersed throughout the movie than with actually being interested in the plot. You know it's a tough sell when you turn to your wife and say, "Look at that beautiful brook," in the middle of a horror movie. As a matter of fact, regardless of how bad things got for the two main characters in the film, I kept saying to myself, "I would love to live there!" I guess that goes to show just how scary The Lodge is. The Lodge opens its doors to ** out of *****.

10 Questions for...Stolis Hadjicharalambous

2008-08-12T17:43:00.007-05:00

Don't even try to pronounce it! Really, you don't have to worry about his last name, just call him Stolis. While his last name may be challenging, what isn't a challenge is seeing just how much talent this young guy has. Barely into his twenties, Stolis has numerous film credits to his name, including the brilliant editing job he did on Alan Rowe Kelly's The Blood Shed! And now, with his directorial debut for the feature film Crossed upcoming, it's my supreme pleasure to get a chance to ask 10 Questions for… Stolis Hadjicharalambous!

1.) Dave: Did you have one of those famous "a-ha" moments where you realized that you wanted to be a filmmaker?

Stolis: I don’t think there was one “a-ha” moment in my life that made me realize that I wanted to be a filmmaker, but it was a series of moments that kept leading me down that path. It started from when I was a child obsessed with movies and that passion never changed. As I kid I never really played sports or studied cars, but I was extremely fascinated with movies. I would watch movies like Robocop, Ghostbusters and Jaws on replay, over an over again. I never got tired of watching films. I would always escape into films. In school I would always try to con my teachers to letting me make short films or plays for the class instead of writing reports. Most of the time they let me make them. They too saw how I was hooked on films.

I can say that the time period where I deeply considered and decided to make it a career was when I was in high school. I had joined a film club that my English teacher ran, who now is coincidentally my cinematographer, Bart Mastronardi. It was here that I learned to examine films not just for entertainment, but also as piece of art and storytelling. I learned screenwriting by studying the opening to Friday the 13th: Jason Lives (laughs). In fact because Bart is such a fan of horror films he made us appreciate the cinematic value that horror films hold.

We started off as six guys and a VCR and as the years went on we started expanding and getting equipment. I discovered my love for directing and editing in the club, and soon I was doing research on how one would make a living with filmmaking and discovered that it was possible. So I think all the moments that I have had in film club all lead up to me deciding to pursue a career in filmmaking.

2.) Dave: How did your family react when you announced you were going to be a filmmaker?

Stolis: Great question! I consider myself extremely lucky and proud to have such a supportive family. When I told them that I wanted to make films they weren’t so shocked about it because growing up they saw how obsessed I was about movies. My parents were completely responsible for raising me on film. They would always take me to the movies to see the big blockbusters and rent movies all the time from Ultra Video down the street from my house. And when I made my short films in high school they were my number one fans. They encouraged me to express myself through film. My mother cried the first time I showed her my first short film, she was so proud of me. Unfortunately she passed away during the filming of Crossed, but I knew how much she loved that I found my passion and that I was working so hard on accomplishing my goals as a filmmaker. So I honored her by going out and making the best film I could with Crossed.

It’s funny, I consider her my assistant director now because when I find myself in jam on set I always take a moment out of the day and ask her to help me out and somehow it always works out. She gives me a bit of peace of mind on set. My father, Harry, helped me invest in camera equipment and an editing studio. He felt it was just as important to invest in the equipment, as it was to invest in college. Some kids beg the parents for a new car, I begged them for a Final Cut Pro studios and a Mac computer. Whenever I needed a hand in anything with making films he has never said no.

I learned so much from him about being a director from working weekends in his deli. He showed me how to deal with deadlines, reliable and unreliable people and how to run your own business. I took the name of my production company Hilltop Studios to honor him and his first deli Hilltop Deli. I think I got my entrepreneurial gene from my father. My dad went off to successfully start his own business, and I as an independent filmmaker, which essentially I’m going off to make my own career path. My father always brags to his friends that I am the next big thing and is always busting my chops about when the money is coming in. I always laugh because I call him the studio head, always asking about the money. But he has been super supportive. My brother Christo, got me my first directing chair, I got choked up over it because it was the nicest thing anyone has gotten me. He basically showed me that he was behind me on my career choice and I love him for that. So I am very blessed to have the support from my family and friends. Their support pushed me to go further with my career and to be as successful in my field.

3.) Dave: Your upcoming film, Crossed, is highly anticipated by those of us who love independent movies. How did the idea for Crossed come to fruition?

Stolis: The idea of Crossed was originally conceived as a short black and white movie that I was going to shoot on super 16 mm film to cut my teeth with working with film. But it spawned into an intense action thriller. My co-creator and writer/actor Christopher Otis was a fellow film student with me in high school. And we became good friends and bonded over our love of action films. After high school we wanted to make an action film that was a throwback to the grittier, intense action flicks that we grew up with. We were sick of these watered down action films that were coming out. So we developed this idea of a young assassin on one of his first hits. But as we started to develop the film we couldn’t stop the flood of ideas from coming in. So eventually we decided that we could expand the idea and take it to many different and exciting levels. Crossed is the story of a young hit man named Frank Archer (Christopher J. Otis), who is on this quest to find out who murdered his father (The Blood Shed’s Jerry Murdock). Archer searches for the truth about his haunted past, eventually crossing him with a sadistic assassin known only as ‘The Ripper’ (Javier Rodriguez). Archer is also trying to find his place in the world but the only way to move on with his future he must learn about his past.

Once we had a solid grasp on the material, I began to pitch the film to Bart Mastronardi, the DP of Crossed and all my short films. He was my film teacher at the time, and he loved the idea and he too was trying to expand his way into the film world, so we both said if we want filmmaking to be our career then we need to step it up and go full force. I then decided to take the leap and develop Crossed into my first feature. Bart agreed that he would invest in the Panasonic DVX 100A camera, the best Mini DV camera at the time. And I agreed to invest into Final Cut Pro and become the editor. Now we had a studio in the palm of our hands. We had the best equipment at our disposal. But most of all we had a great concept and different story to tell. So we had all the ingredients to make a spectacular film expect of course the money! Finally another one of my former classmates and actor Javier Rodriguez loved the script. Otis and I created the character “The Ripper” for him.

After hearing our goals and plans for the film and the potential it had he decided to become the producer of the film. He saw how everyone was investing themselves into the project and he felt he should invest as well into it. Crossed then began to evolve into a massive monster with a talented and dedicated cast and crew. Besides Christopher Otis and Javier Rodriguez, I was able to work with talented actor Henry Borriello, who is a force to be reckoned with; Keith Frasier (Vindication) steals the show as Wilhelm; I got to work with the talented Miguel Lopez; Talia Morreno and Ashley Bernardes, Jessie May Lauhman are the female beauties of Crossed; and most recently we signed Andrew Roth (FrightWorld) to play a pivotal role in the film, he was a blast to work with. Also after working with director Alan Rowe Kelly (who stars as Ed) on The Blood Shed, my first feature film that I edited, I was able to meet some amazing talented actors. Alan Rowe Kelly lent us his amazing talents as well as Jerry Murdock, who plays Frank’s father, Murdock is going to be the next action hero, just wait and see. Both of these guys I admire and respect so much. They always give 120 percent every time. I always pinch myself because I still can’t believe how far CROSSED has come from just a little idea. It was an idea, a seed, which blossomed into something I hope audiences will enjoy.

4.) Dave: You co-wrote Crossed with Christopher Otis. What was your writing routine like and what was the process of writing Crossed?

Stolis: Crossed was born from Chris and me and our love of action films. I loved films like El Mariachi, Escape from New York, and Robocop where the story centers on one main character who interacts with other colorful characters. So Otis and I came up with a cool character that was a hit man who would become our strong anti-hero. We would watch the films that inspired us and shared similar themes. We studied what made these characters like Snake Plisskin or Indiana Jones interesting. We studied the characters and made sure that our characters were not flat but had the depth and life that our favorite characters had.

Otis & I developed the story for two years. We would have long conversations about where we wanted to take the characters and ho w the plot should evolve. I become the idea man, coming up with the ideas, concepts, character ideas and Otis was the man who put the dialogue on the paper. So he did most of the main writing. My influences came into play when creating The Ripper character because he was the most fun to create for me. He was the strong silent type. He was brutal and nasty. He is a mix of Snake Plisskin from Escape from New York and Mr. Blonde from Reservoir Dogs. Otis loved writing for Borriello and Wilhelm. So he took over those scenes. But the character I most identified with was Frank Archer. He is this young kid not sure what path to take in life and dealing with the grief over losing his father. In my case I was going through the same thing with my mother’s passing. So I would try and take my experiences and my personal feelings and put them into Archer’s world. For me as a filmmaker, I needed to feel as if I putting myself on the screen. If I can see my personal values or qualities within the story and character then I feel more invested in the story. Archer was my canvas that I projected my thoughts onto, but at the same time Otis put himself in there too. It’s a mix of all these creative forces at once that make great stories.

The best trait that I admire about Otis as a writer is his attention to detail. He is always trying to close up any holes in the plot and keep the story consistent and in control. He is a writer that is always thinking of what could happen down the road for a character. One change in the scene could ripple through to the rest of film and affect the other characters. I love that he was always aware of that. Otis is a very hands on and collaborative writer. We would meet up and have lengthy conversations and sometimes argue for hours about the scenes or the edits to make sure we were on the same page. And since I was the editor I was able to make certain calls in cutting down the script before filming.

The best thing about working closely to a writer is that I am not limiting the story to one point of view, but by collaborating with someone who will help make a better film. Working with Otis has been a dream because we both knew what kind of film to make. We loved and respected the genre, we loved the characters and we always tried to make the film better. We pushed ourselves back and forth to get the best ideas possible.

5.) Dave: Many aspiring independent filmmakers out there get deadlocked when it comes to finding financing for their movies. What was your strategy for financing Crossed and was there ever a time when you felt like it wasn't going to happen?

Stolis: I don’t think I had a moment where I felt the film would never happen because of money issues because going into production, my producer Javier Rodriguez and I decided that we would do this on the lowest possibly budget. We felt the more money we spent the harder it would be to make our money back and turn a profit. We would just save our pennies every week and then when we had enough money to shoot, we would shoot.

Since Crossed was a learning experience as well we wanted to limit the risk of losing money as much as we could. Also I am a firm believer in utilizing every single resource you have available to you. We never wrote something into the script that we either couldn’t afford or we didn’t have free and immediate access to. All the locations in the film were location that we had instant access to. Either a close family relative or friend, if they had an interesting location or prop, we simply ask them and about 95% of the time they would say yes. We shot a huge torture scene in the basement of my father's deli that I worked in over the summer. The basement looked like a mini crypt so we wrote a scene knowing what we could do in the space provided. Also since my father owns his own deli (Hilltop Delicatessen – Shameless plug!!) I would be able to save tons of money on feeding the cast and crew because my father would donate all the food. Javier works in his family run Spanish restaurant, so we get free delicious food for his restaurant, and his basement was used as the hide out for his character, The Ripper. The cast and crew loved it. Since we couldn’t pay them anything, we made sure we feed them as well as we could. A fed crew is a happy crew. Also most of my cast and crew take on double jobs on set to cut down on the number of people involved, because sometimes the more people the more headaches arise on set. So a lot of them are pulling double duty.

I learned a lot from reading Robert Rodriguez book Rebel Without a Crew that book has become my filmmaking bible. The book described Robert Rodriguez’ journey in making his first low budget action feature El Mariachi. I modeled a lot of CROSSED shooting and financial methods around his strategies of not spending a lot of money but using your creativity to make the film. The limits that low budget films have are great catalyst for your most creative moments. As a filmmaker you have to be open mined and see the possibilities all around you and utilize them to the fullest.

6.) Dave: What is the most difficult job you have ever had while working in film and how did you manage to get through it?

Stolis: That’s a tough question because I don’t really find any job working in film difficult because I have so much fun trying to do all of the different types of jobs. I direct, edit, write, sometimes grip, help light the set, and even work the catering table. I find all those jobs so satisfying and enjoyable. It’s hard to say that film is difficult; I find it more challenging and engaging then anything. I would say the most difficult aspect of working in film is to always making sure that your pushing yourself to better every single day.

I think the idea of growing and expanding and never becoming stale is a tough thing. It’s easy to feel comfortable in a story or genre. It’s hard to push the envelope because you feel you need to reach to everyone. I feel we took a lot of chances with some of the action and violence in CROSSED. There is some stuff in this film that I feel I have never seen done before. And it excites me that I am able to do those things and not feel restricted. I like challenging myself and not knowing everything. I like taking risks and doing things the most people wont do or find taboo or too intense. I like to think that after a day of shooting I feel I have grown from the experience and the next day of filming I have become better and stronger storyteller.

I love the directing process and working with different actors because every actor is a different challenge. To get into there mindset and figure out there process. What makes them react and give the best performance? How they interrupt their characters. If there was one thing I can say I don’t like doing on a film is to be in front of the camera (laughs) I am so uncomfortable as an actor. I love doing theatre acting but I can’t do film acting. I give actors a lot of credit and respect because film acting is very intimidating. The camera is right in front of your face and captures everything. As long as I don’t say anything and stand in the back I am fine (laughs). It’s a good thing I work with top-notch actors. Some say casting is 80% of the job, I agree.

7.) Dave: What sparks your creativity?

Stolis: I have so many tools I use to get the creative juices flowing. I love going for walks with my headphones blasting music. Music is a big motivator for me. I love movie scores the most. John Williams, Michael Giacchino Hans Zimmer & John Powell’s scores are amazing. Since I am an editor I like to use music to create certain rhythms and beats in my mind when I sit to edit a scene. Editing is not much different then conduction an orchestra. You have to be aware of creating rhythms and moments. And to be able to give your film's story its peaks and valleys. So music helps to stimulate those ideas. Watching great films is always a good motivator. Movies by Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino, Kevin Smith, and Martin Scorsese are great motivators because they remind me of why I fell in love with movies and that movies can stand the test of time. Jaws is probably the most perfect film ever made. It has everything you want in a great film. Also watching bad films can really motivate me because it shows that other people out there are doing the same thing your trying to do and they are bad but somehow are in theaters and DVD and people are watching them. It shows you there is no such thing as failure. Someone out there will dig your film. Plus it helps you to not make the same mistakes they did. I also love to walk. Walking helps to clear my head and to give myself some alone time to my thoughts. If I get stuck on an idea, I’ll usually take a walk because it keeps my minds racing and allows me to absorb the world. Subway rides help me write. There is something about the movement and the energy that subways have which helps me to focus. I’ll take a notebook on the train and start writing it’s very weird, but I find so many story possibilities just riding the subway. If you ever get stuck on an idea, go on the subway look around and spot someone on the train. Absorb what he or she is wearing and what they are doing try to guess what their story is. You will be surprised how far you imagination will take you.

Funny, but I also do a lot of writing when bored in class (laughs). I hate when boredom sets in so the only way to keep my mind going is to keep thinking and using my imagination. So I get bored the majority in class and I would start doodling and those doodles some how emerge into something creative. Sometimes going out with friends and having dinner inspires me. Just listing to their stories or certain things they say or do will spark an idea. I have one diner that I go there religiously called Mark Twain dinner, ill grab a cup of coffee and a notebook and I do my notes. I’ll go there with my friends after a shoot or just to kill time and we discuss everything and anything. Most of my friends are actors so by hanging out with them all the time I am able to craft my stories and characters to their strengths and qualities. It helps them to put themselves into the work.

Whenever making movies becomes stressful, I usually try and take a day off and head into the city. There I just walk for hours, grab some food and try to get in a double feature at the multiplex. It just relaxes me. A trip to New York City is my jumpstart after a rough few days.
I also find myself more creative at night. I will get my ideas while I am lying restlessly in bed then ill bolt up and jot them down. And since I have more creative flow at night, I started switching my schedule to nighttime. I edit my films at night. No one calls to bother you. Its really quiet and I can focus on the film. I get into a safe zone when I work at night. So for the last few weeks CROSSED and I have shared several sunrises after long editing sessions. But I am a firm believer that life experience will help you expand as an artist. Some film school kids get so caught up with studying movies and spend all their time watching films that they forget to go out and experience the world. That’s where the stories are. Go out and live life, have adventures. Do something your were always afraid of doing and then document it then come home and write what you know. I guess filmmakers need to find what inspires them and when they feel the need a creative boost they need to embrace that.

8.) Dave: You have a solid working relationship with fellow independent icons Alan Rowe Kelly, Bart Mastronardi and others. How has working with them benefited your filmmaking capabilities?

Stolis: I find that people become successful when they surround themselves with great company and others who strive to be the best they can be. Both Alan Rowe Kelly and my mentor from day one Bart Mastronardi, are some of the best company anybody can ask for. Alan gave me my first big editing job on his film THE BLOOD SHED. He took a huge risk trusting me with his baby in the editing room. I was 18 at the time and I hadn’t edited a feature before. But I had edited countless shorts, commercials and music videos and Bart recommended me to Alan and showed him a bunch of my work and the next day Alan emailed me with the offer and its been non-stop from there.

Alan helped open my eyes to what its like to run a set on a big independent film like THE BLOOD SHED. It was my first experience in film where I was working with people outside my circle. So I got to meet professional actors and crewmembers like Jerry Murdock, Zoe Dahlmen Chalanda, Tom Burns, Don Money and Andrew Roth just so many nice people. Alan helped open a lot of doors for me in this business, I was extremely proud and honored to meet Fangoria editor Michael Gingold who then let us grace the pages of FANGORIA MAGAZINE. That was a trip. I never thought I be a part of Fangoria and share it with people I respect and admire like Alan and Bart. Alan has given me a lot of crucial advice and knowledge and despite my age he treated me like a professional. Bart has actually been my best friend since high school, like I said he was my English teacher then he ran the film club and soon because we both love movies so much we became good friends.

I still can’t believe that I am working side by side my English teacher from high school to make films. We started working on each other’s short films. He would shoot mine and I’ll end up editing his films. We are like the Tarantino and Rodriguez of our group. He is an artist behind the camera as a cinematographer. He approaches each scene with a unique look and paints it with wild colors. The best quality I find in Bart is that he doesn’t overcomplicate anything. He lights sets with very minimal lighting that make things more simple and efficient. Instead of lugging around heavy lights he simply uses Home Depot flood light and creates amazing shots with those. He doesn’t need big massive lights to achieve his style. He really has created some of his best work as a cinematographer on CROSSED. Much like myself he always pushes himself further each day on set. He always trying to out do his own work. That is a rare quality I find in many people these days. We are both making features at the same time, Bart’s is a horror film called Vindication, which I am editing.

There is a metaphor Bart and I say, CROSSED and Vindication are our children, like brothers. Because we are good friends we know what each of us enjoy in making a film and we are more comfortable to share our ideas and thoughts about a project. I think that being comfortable is priceless when making these films. Bart has been a mentor to me, teaching me what he knows about film and storytelling. He took me under his wing for a bit and when it was time to finally make my first feature he has been the most supportive person I know. He still guides me today. We have so much fun together editing his feature Vindication. He gives me all of freedom to go wild with my editing and that means a lot to me. It shows how much he trusts me in the editing room handling his baby. And I like to think I educate him as well since he comes from the school of film and I am as a child of digital, so I like to think I keep him young (laughs). But there is no other person whom I have shared such a profound and meaningful friendship then with Bart. And if it wasn’t for Bart running his film club in high school I seriously don’t know where I would be right now. So I thank the world that I was able to meet Bart and that we both had the opportunity to inspire each other in going for our dreams

9.) Dave: When you were in school, you won consecutive Filmmaker of the Year awards. In your opinion, what did you think your films offered that the other entries lacked?

Stolis: I don’t think it came down to the other projects lacking anything because some of the other projects were truly amazing. But I think it was a combination of energy and creativity that earned me the title of Filmmaker of the Year. My very first short film was a horror film called Schools Out, I was a junior in high school, my father at this point knew I had been bit by the film bug and on Christmas bought me my first DV camera, so I started playing around with the camera, filming my dog Nugget around the house, annoying my mother while cooking, but I was searching for a story to tell. Soon I became eager to actually make a film with a story, I made it not for a completion but just because at that moment I wanted to make a film, I wanted to uncover the veil of what it was to actually make a film, to discover what a close up was, how o cover a scene for an edit, how to talk to actors.

Before I made Schools Out, I had read book and articles, watched the making of documentary on the DVDs for the movies I loved to see how they did it, I sometime argue that DVDs have become the new film school, you can listen to an commentary from filmmakers like Scorsese or Coppola and find out how they do it, so your learning from the best. So I learned a lot just from DVDs, but once I started filming, I just kept at it. I never stopped. I would stay late at night in school editing alone in a classroom. My teachers would call it the tower, because the Mac computer was in classroom all the way up on the third floor. No one would bother me up there. Whenever someone was looking for me they just respond, “Stolis is in the tower”. At one point I got locked in well after school was done. Instead of freaking out I saw it as more time to edit. But I think because when ever I go out to make a film; no matter if it’s a short or feature, I always carry the philosophy of making a film that I as an audience member would personally want to see. And the movies I want to see are pack with style and action and have strong stories. I let my imagination go wild. So I think my short films in school really translated to the audience because I set out to make a great movie filled with those things and people saw that.

I studied what made good movies good. I applied those aspects to my shorts, and I had such great guidance from Bart Mastronardi who never let me go astray. For me making the shorts in school was a learning ground because the best way to learn how to make a film is to GO OUT AND MAKE ONE! Grab the camera and shoot till your blue in the face. Don’t stop. Make as many mistakes as you can because you will learn more from them then your successes. And till this day I still will make mistakes. Mistakes don't have to be mistakes, everything is subjective - a mistake to one person is actually a piece of art to someone else. Hide behind that, tell everyone its art, you can get away with a lot. Your mistakes, your shortcomings suddenly become artistic expression. I always try and remember that because that thinking eliminates the fear. And once you lose the fear of failure then you're unstoppable.

10.) Dave: When is Crossed set to be released, what projects are you currently working on and what can we expect from you in the upcoming months?

Stolis: Right now we are in the last stages of Post-Production. I am currently tweaking the scenes for pacing now and doing last minute trims. After that, I am going to be working closely with my good friend and talented musician, William Archiello, who has been composing all my work since day one and has been doing great work on CROSSED. During the editing process William has been creating the themes and music cues, which gives me ideas and inspires me in the editing room and in many cases before I shoot certain scenes. I always have a blast working with William on music. Also I’ll be working on the sound design with Javier Rodriguez who will divide his time with promoting the film as well as producer. When just hired a very talented PR person Gloria Borriello who will help get the word out there for us.

Once the film is done, it’s off to festivals and to show the public our little baby we have been raising. Hopefully the public will enjoy our little action flick and have a wild ride with it. Besides CROSSED, I’ll be wrapping up my editing services on Bart Mastronardi feature film debut. VINDICATION, which is one of the most disturbing and imaginative films I have been a part of. Bart has such a creative and unique vision, and I hope the fans get a kick out of it. Vindication will be a breath of fresh air in the horror world. After all this, I have been developing a great comedy idea that I will use for my thesis film at my last year as a student at School of Visual Arts. After all the blood and gore, I wanted to shift gears from the heavy horrors/drama I have been apart of. I had so much fun making a short comedy DING DONG DATE last year that I have been craving to do another one for a while now. And the idea I have for it will be so much fun to do. So stay tuned for that. And who knows what is in store for the future. I just living it day by day and enjoying every moment of this wild ride. But the ultimate goal is to always be working in this industry for the rest of my life. To always be behind the camera directing. To be working with the best cast and crew nonstop. And to tell amazing fresh stories that I want to be told and will stand the test of time. And hopefully my films will inspire someone like me growing up, a little fat movie geek from Queens, New York, to discover his dream and become a filmmaker as well.

I want to thank Stolis Hadjicharalambous for allowing me a glimpse into the mind of a talented, up and coming filmmaker. A true student of the art, Stolis has already far exceeded the norm in his short time working in film. Be sure to keep an eye out for Crossed when it is released! For more information on this filmmaking whiz, visit his Myspace page at http://www.myspace.com/hilltopstudiosproductions and for more info on Crossed, visit http://www.myspace.com/crossedmovie.

DVD Review: Funny Games (2007)

2008-07-06T07:44:00.003-05:00

This 2007 remake of the 1998 thriller directed by Michael Haneke is a no-holds-barred view at modern society's fascination with violence. Just as the original, this version, also directed by Haneke, keeps you on edge throughout...as long as you haven't already seen the original, that is. As it turns out, this version is a near shot-for-shot redeux ala that crappy Psycho remake with Vince Vaughn a few years ago. But what stands out here are the performances, particularly those of Naomi Watts and the two menacing teenagers, Michael Pitt and Brady Corbet. I mean, Julia Roberts commands how much money per picture? And she would never have been able to pull this performance off! Tim Roth is OK in the film, unless his character was supposed to be wimpy and flat, which in that case, he excelled.

The plot follows a well-to-do married couple and their young son heading off for a nice summer vacation at their vacation home on the lake. The lake community is rather remote, yet filled with tea-toddlers. As the couple opens up their summer abode, a fresh-faced young duo come a-calling. Always polite and seemingly wanting to help, the young duo kill with kindness...literally! As the family is taken hostage, the games begin, and no, they're not fun games. As the movie is a reflection of our love for violence, brilliantly, all of the violence happens off screen. Sound and the facial expressions of the actors tell you exactly what's going on and for the meek of heart, that's probably a good thing.

I thought Funny Games to be a good movie, although I admit, I didn't see the original, so I can't say that I would have liked it as much if I did. So, if you didn't see the original, then you should like the remake of Funny Games, but, you just may not like how the movie ends. I give Funny Games ***1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: The Mist

2008-05-17T07:48:00.002-05:00

It's not a usual occurance that a Stephen King story is well represented on the screen. I mean, come on, Maximum Overdrive anyone? But, then again, some turn out pretty good, like Storm of the Century and The Shining. But perhaps none have been as eagerly anticipated as The Mist. I remember having a 3-D dramatization of the novella on audio cassette when I was younger and I was utterly enthralled with it, so I was excited to finally get to watch the film version, especially when it was directed by Frank Darabont, a King disciple to say the least.

I was pretty happy with how this film was made. The mist itself was ominous, the beasties were nasty and I really liked how the massive monsters were kept just out of sight in the dense mist. Once again, King allows us to realize just how fragile the human psyche is and how religious fervor can quickly get out of control in a tense situation. I thought the acting was pretty good, the cinematography well done and the effects effective. The scene with the small group making their way to the pharmacy was great!

While a horror movie at heart, the morale of The Mist makes it much larger in scope. The ending, as the cover says, is shocking and will probably leave many people upset, but hey, that's life. I give The Mist a clear **** out of *****.

DVD Review: Cruel World

2008-05-11T13:29:00.003-05:00

Well, if nothing else, they got the title right! Oh, what a cruel world it is that we have to have movies like Cruel World somehow make it onto DVD. Remember way back when Terminator 2 came out, how everyone was touting Edward Furlong as the next big thing in acting? Oh how the mighty have fallen! Eddie now hams it up on the direct-to-DVD circuit and let's face it, he makes Corbin Bernsen look like a top-notch thespian. Cruel World is based on an emotionally messed-up reject from a dating reality show ala The Bachelor. He in turn starts his own reality-based television show, where contestants start to drop like flies, including a cameo by Jaime Pressly. Does she really need this gig? Anyway, the movie sucks. The only thing I wish is that this do-or-die premise would be adapted in today's reality shows. Imagine two women battling to the death to win Flavor Flav's heart. YEAH BOIIIIII!!!!! Otherwise, Cruel World plays more like a cruel joke...on the viewer! 0 out of *****.

DVD Review: Borderland

2008-04-19T07:12:00.002-05:00

Inspired by true events, Borderland plays much like Hostel in Mexico. Having served in San Diego many moons ago, I can attest that warnings about about traveling into Mexico are unceasing. I even had a friend end up in jail there for three days, with a broken neck! So when I watched Borderland, I could truly believe that this was based on reality.

The film is about three Texas friends, about to go off to college, who venture across the border into Mexico for a night of munching shrooms and general rabble-rousing. Problems arise when one falls for a hooker, the other falls for a bar maid and the last one thinks he's invincible. Needless to say, these guys get caught up in some serious shitake!! You see, there's a cartel doing business that also happens to dabble in some Mexican voodoo, and it seems that they use the screams of terrified Americans to feed their god. So, when one of the friends stupidly accepts a ride from the most dangerous dudes in town, it's up to the other two, the bar maid and an ex-cop, who already had one run-in with the baddies, to try and save the kid.

For all intent and purposes Borderland was a good movie. It kept me interested and a little creeped out that this stuff really does happen in this goofy world. The Hollywood artistic freedom however, always seems to ruin it though. SPOILER ALERT -- In a compound of about fifty cultists, how come only about four or five come out to take on the three good guys? Does that make sense? Plus, the biggest baddie in the movie (the bald dude) gets taken out in a really weak way, nothing like the revenge you would have loved to see. But other than that, Borderland is pretty decent, at least better than a lot of the other After Dark Horrorfest films out there. It gets *** out of ***** chalupas.

DVD Review: The Rage

2008-04-15T18:59:00.002-05:00

From the mind of Robert Kurtzman comes The Rage. Oh man, where do I begin? This movie pretty much has it all - tons of gore, man-eating vultures, cannabalized children, a mutant gimp, Erin Brown (Misty Mundae) and even Reggie Bannister as...Uncle Ben! The plot follows the disaster that ensues after Dr. Viktor Vasilienko's (Andrew Divoff) secret experiments go awry. He has his own reasons for wanting to exact his revenge on the world, and I really don't blame him, but when the vultures got involved, this tale turned directly into Sci-Fi Channel Saturday night. However, this is one that will probably become an instant cult classic, or at least a great drinking game movie! Oh yeah, and how can a movie that features music from Midnight Syndicate be all that bad? The Rage gets ** out of *****.

DVD Review: April Fool's Day

2008-04-15T18:38:00.002-05:00

The original 1986 version of April Fool's Day holds a special place in my heart. I don't know why, maybe because I was a year away from graduating high school and it resonated with me on some level, but I'll watch it whenever I happen to come across it on cable even still. That being said, when I saw that there was a remake in the works, I was at least a little interested...and concerned. This modern incarnation of April Fool's Day follows another group of young, sexy guys and gals except this time, they're rich debutantes instead of college co-eds. The story revolves around socialite Desiree Cartier and her habit of playing particularly nasty pranks on her friends(?). Unfortunately, during a posh party thrown for one of the Cartier's friends(?) a former friend(?) falls over a balcony and dies. A year passes and then, one by one, the core group of friends(again, ?) begin to get knocked off.

While I still have no idea why this group of people were friends in the first place, I have to say that I kind of liked this movie. Although it was a direct-to-DVD release, it was much better than the remakes that have recently disgraced the box office. While not exceptional, it was well made and well acted. Even though the movie wasn't scary in the least, or thrilling for that matter, I still wanted to see how the thing would play out, even though you sort of have an idea if you already saw the original. One of the best things about the movie, in fact, was the ending. I didn't see it coming, ha ha they got me! April Fool's Day pranks ***1/2 out of *****.

10 Questions for... Bart Mastronardi

2008-03-31T19:14:00.006-05:00

When he's not teaching, the inimitable Bart Mastronardi can usually be found behind the camera on some of the most recognized independent horror films currently hitting the scene. From Alan Rowe Kelly's The Blood Shed to his upcoming masterpiece, Vindication, Bart's talent is evident in every scene. I was recently granted an interview with this up-and-coming multi-talent so without further ado, here is 10 Questions for…Bart Mastronardi!

1.) Dave: You have quite an impressive cinematographer's resume with numerous credits working on independent horror films to the Bravo TV Network. How did you get your start behind the camera?

Bart: Thank you Dave for giving me this opportunity. I really appreciate it.

To start, my dad always brought my brother and me to the movies when he was off from work: the Elmwood movie theater on Queens blvd. in Queens, NY was my favorite movie theater unfortunately, it is now some bingo hall/religious church. However, I grew up loving the movies: Jaws, Star Wars, Friday the 13th – The Final Chapter and James Whales’ Frankenstein are the major movies that influenced me. I grew up reading Fangoria magazine, more than I read my school books, I still collect Fangoria. I always did small theater shows with my friends and re-enacted scenes with my Star Wars figures, too as a kid. As I got older I worked and acted for the Spotlight Players Community Theater in Ozone Park as I was studying for my B.A. in Film Studies at Hunter College in NYC, but college was so boring to me I would always cut to go see a movie or explore the city (laughs). I then worked for an eye glass magazine; after I had enough of the cubicle farm job for a year, I put my head back on straight and became a teacher.

Teaching changed my life because it pointed me in all the right directions, plus I give share with students what I have learned. I teach English, film, photography and drama for HS students and I also teach at New York Film Academy. Along the way I taught a great bunch of students who wanted to be a part of this business too, so they worked hard and they are in their twenties now. They have gone on to become a part of the film business with me, which helps ease the nerves at times. We all work along side each other on different projects while working with other professionals. I studied with Horacio Marquinez a great DP and mentor. However, the best thing I did was I attended a whole summer at the Maine Film/Photographic Institute in Rockport, Maine where I studied with some of the best cinematographers in Hollywood: Michael Goi, ASC; Mark Raker; and Jaskus Laskus, ASC to name a few. Rockport was a far better education than my uneventful college years.

I also met director Alan Rowe Kelly who gave me my first break as a cinematographer on his movies The Blood Shed and Far Cry From Home. I have worked with Bravo TV for Shear Genius (NYC Casting), I shot a documentary for Vidal Sasson and Behind the Chair.com to help raise money for Hurricane Katrina victims and the list is endless. Now I shoot lots of independent horror movies with the best team of crew guys assembled, I just wrapped up my own first feature horror movie, Vindication, shot Stolis Hadjicharalambous’ action thriller Crossed and numerous shorts for Stolis, and I have appeared in Fangoria magazine issue 267 (laughs). I still pinch myself. I am very fortunate for what I have and there is more to come now that editing Vindication will be complete by this summer. Knowing I can continue to work as a filmmaker while teaching is what keeps me going. We all have to start somewhere but how we keep going is up to us.

2.) Dave: For those readers who don't understand what the art of cinematography is, can you explain what it is you do?

Bart: Simply look at life through your eyes and then change it up. Every movie I film is very different from the last one, so I have to go into each movie with a different frame of mind. Basically, a cinematographer (A.K.A. Director of Photography or DP) writes or paints with lights through particular lenses to set a visual mood for the story. You must train your eye to see light and re-shape it to reflect the image you desire. Look at great paintings like Rembrandt, watch great movies with brilliant cinematography, like Taxi Driver, Blade Runner or Half Nelson, even Robert Rodriguez’ El Mariachi is brilliant. Watch how light is playing in the movie. Look how light comes through a window or how a small candle in a dark room makes a huge statement.

Cinematographers use light to create a space, which molds the world of the movie visually. We set the mood to the story through the lighting and choice of lenses selected and our film stocks then put that all together and we get to play all day. Not a bad gig (laughs). It’s the best job to have on set next to the director. You do have to work along side the director to capture their vision and tell the story as visually as possible. Knowing when to move a camera or just hold still. You have to read the script, make notes and ask questions. It is not simply putting a camera on a tripod for no reason. There is an art to the craft. Cinematography helps the audience understand why the camera is doing what it is doing for the sake of the story without being to obtrusive to the audience. Making a movie is collaboration and with a great talented crew it worth everything. Let go of the ego; surrounding yourself with great, and yes, fun talent which makes the process much easier. With the crew we laugh all day while working hard.

Two great documentaries to watch are Visions of Light: The Art of Cinematography and Cinematographer’s Style. These are the visual bibles of cinematography about movies and cinematographers. Also, I listed some of my personal favorite cinematography for horror movies: The Devil’s Rejects (Phil Parmet); The Universal classics of the 1930’s; John Carpenter’s Halloween and The Thing (both by Dean Cundy, ASC); The Exorcist (Owen Roizman, ASC); Seven (Darius Khondji, ASC); Friday the 13th VI-Jason Lives (Jon Kranhouse); and of course my personal favorite, the original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Daniel Pearl, ASC).

Some of my great cinematographers: Ellen Kuras, ASC; Vittorio Storarro, ASC; Daniel Pearl, ASC; Rodrigo Prietro, ASC; Dion Beebe, ASC; Greg Toland, ASC, Matthew Libatique, ASC. Janus Kaminski, ASC. My list is endless as they are great craftspeople in capturing light. ASC stands for American Society of Cinematographers.

3.) Dave: Many films claim to hearken a return to "old school horror," but the cinematography in Alan Rowe Kelly's The Blood Shed (especially the shots from and around the property) invoke memories of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Did you try for that effect or is that just the way it turned out?

Bart: The Blood Shed is a combination of “effect” and “the way it turned out.” I am very much inspired by Daniel Pearl’s work on TCM, but I of course as a DP I really wanted to add my own look and style into The Blood Shed. When I read the script it had that Chainsaw feel to it and Alan had stated this before hand, too. But as I read the script I felt The Blood Shed has much more of a twisted sense of humor, almost like a crazy carnival, but TCM is a much more serious movie with hidden dark humor to it. As I photographed The Blood Shed I purposely created three distinct looks for it: using color temperature, certain lenses and of course the great acting, costumes and sets to work within. It is over the top and that is how I saw best to film it. One look for the camera was for the Bullion family, the camera was always handheld or on a steddie-pod. It was never really static. I put Dutch angles to it and used a very wide lens to distort character expressions so I could create certain moods at times. This was important in conveying who these characters are, crazy backwoods folks. The Bullion family’s lighting was always very warm in color temperature with a colorful palette and a soft look to it with lots of Christmas lights for the disturbing horror of what the family does.

The second look was the model agency, which to me was a grid-like structure always on tripod and very straight on like models on a photo shoot. I also put a touch of blue for coldness. The last section was the suburban neighbors which combined the other two looks when necessary. On The Blood Shed I needed to tell the story in the most visual distinctive way possible while using the budget we had for it, so the audience can feel what it is like to live within the world of The Blood Shed. When you watch Stolis’ Crossed it is filmed as an independent gritty action thriller, deeper colors, more of an objective point of view, which looks nothing like The Blood Shed. Crossed has a unique visceral style that accompanies the action of the story, and then there is my own work on Vindication, which has separate look from all the movies I have shot. Vindication is the point of view of its main character, which means the audience experiences only what Nicolas Bertram (the protagonist) experiences at the moment; it is very subjective in storytelling. Nicolas is in every scene because it is his story and his experience, just like the way we each live life. The cinematographer’s role basically is to ensure the movie’s visuals have a particular look and feel, which reflects the elements of the story.

4.) Dave: Your current project is the psychological horror film, Vindication. As the film's writer, director, producer, cinematographer and co-star, what was the most difficult process in the film's creation and how did you overcome it?

Bart: Vindication is a huge labor of love. The primary knowing is that the cast and crew make Vindication what it is because without them this horror movie is nothing more than all crazy ideas inside my head. It’s my first born child and the cast and crew is the surrogate family. Raising an actual child is much more difficult, but making a movie is never easy especially one on such a low budget. Yes, things do get tedious, but I am usually a person who never sees a problem, I’d rather look at things and say, “OK. Just deal with it and go for it.” I have a team of people who don’t bullshit me either. They tell me what I need to hear for the movie, not what I want to hear to stroke my ego. I trust them as they do me. Perhaps the most difficult process in the film’s creation has actually been just coordinating everyone’s schedules together. Scheduling is more cumbersome than anything else, or even worse having a location cancel at the last minute. The way to handle it is to go take a deep breathe and go to plan B, C, D, or E in case plan A falls. Money has also been a matter, but I would schedule the film shoot around my paycheck days, so I can spend more for Henry Borriello who does an amazing job with the makeup or get more breakaway glass. SAG was interesting because it is the actor’s union but that was just a lot of paper work for actor Patrick Cronen and Patrick delivers a fine performance. What always concerned me was feeding the cast and crew. They must be feed. I’m Italian so food is necessary (laughs).

Living upstate for a week with a cast and crew of six can be expensive, but so many people have given so much to Vindication that it has made the process of making this movie much easier. Rich Wenzel and his family gave me the cabin upstate for nothing, Alan Rowe Kelly and so many cast members opened up there homes to us. Stolis’ dad owns a deli, Hilltop Deli, in Long Island so he catered for us when I had huge cast and crew days. But my God I am blessed with Henry Borriello and his involvement with C W Post College for the use of their theaters and their lights. Now, Billy Archiello is doing an amazing score for the movie late May/early June, Javier Rodriguez is mixing my sound, Stolis is editing, Chris Otis plays a mean Time Keeper; and Dominic Sivilli is the best assistant I can have. Keith Fraser, the lead actor, god bless him, he is very dedicated and willing to go beyond the means of the movie. He has always been there since the short movie. Alan Rowe has introduced me to his company of talent: SAG actor Patrick Cronen, Jerry Murdock and Zoë Daelman-Chlanda. Henry Borriello and C W Post introduced me the talented Jessie May Laumann and Talia Morrero; also Vindication’s talented costume designer Brittany R. Jones-Pugh. And Dom introduced me Miguel Lopez. I wish I could pay them all more than they get. I can name all of them, but the way I have overcome any problem is simple, if you haven’t already figured it out: I have surrounded myself with the most dedicated, generous and talented group of individual people who trust and believe in Vindication and my vision for it.

Kind of funny but Vindication is a horror movie, but it has been made with so much fun you never would guess it is horror movie when we are on set. You know 4,000 of our American troops were killed in Iraq, so for me there are much bigger problems in the world than making a movie like Vindication. During the filming of this movie I have seen parents and friends die, so if the key light isn’t working or someone is late just fix the issue and move on. Laughter is key to overcome many problems when making a movie!

5.) Dave: Can you give us a glimpse into what your writing process was like while you were writing Vindication?

Bart: Vindication writes itself, I am just the stenographer to the movie (laughs). Writing for me is a lot like method acting. From the setting, to the mood, to creating certain characters, Vindication tells me what to write. For example, Nicolas roommate, Michel, is an UN-stereo typical gay character, played genuinely by Miguel Lopez. I never set out to write a gay character, but Michel was there. I do research for the story by reading books, plays, essay, monologues; I also have tons of images from paintings, photography and commercial shoots, I dive into my own private life, and just looking at life in general. All of this helps me to understand the world I am writing about, thus creating Vindication.

With writing it is also the only time I have alone with these characters, so I have to be very intimate with them. Afterwards the actors get them, then production, and then Stolis (the editor) has his fair share, too. While I write I act out the scenes to listen to the characters playing off one another. Nicolas was difficult to write because Nicolas represents many people who feel alone or lost in the world, so there is this responsibility to ensure Nicolas is believable. Also, Nicolas never spoke much. His actions and visuals speak for him. The characters around him help guide him with their spoken words. I do get attached to my characters too. I remember writing Nicolas’ suicide attempt and it was very painful to write. I really felt bad for this kid. Here is a twenty-year old kid, lonely, guilty of so much who then strips down to bare himself; he has all these cuts on his naked body, he is a cutter, and then he grabs a razor while he gets into the tub. The hardest part was where it was leading up to. Why is that so hard to write? Because Nicolas is in such emotional pain and he truly believes if he escape the pain of life through death all will be better. However, personally, asking the actor, Keith, to go nude for the scene was a bit odd (laughs), but Keith is a total professional of an actor and he believed in who Nicolas represents; Keith trusted my direction, so Keith did the scene nude. I am in debt to him.

Now, I knew Nicolas was going to attempt suicide but I just can’t sit down and write that scene from beginning to end. It doesn’t work that way for me. It is a process. Scenes come to me and I write them down: napkins, pizza box, paper, in a coffee shop, at home, the shower is the best place oddly, and NYC subways, wherever. When I sit to write it in script form I have a dictionary, a thesaurus, and all the material that are inspiring to the story. I just write Vindication as it is told to me. Then I put the scenes together the way Vindication tells me to. It sounds crazy but writing Vindication, as hard as it is to write at times, was as truthful I have ever been as a filmmaker. If writing, visually or verbally, is the communication of ideas and expressing those ideas was very scary then all filmmakers must expose themselves in their work somehow; otherwise, the audience does not believe it. Vindication is a simple story: a young man dealing with who he really is in life, just within the horror genre.

6.)Dave: Along with Alan Rowe Kelly, Joshua Nelson and Stolis Hadjicharalambous, you were recently featured in Fangoria Magazine about independent filmmakers. How has your life changed since that fantastic article hit the newsstands?

Bart: I am still on cloud nine still after Fangoria issue 267 hit newsstands. I have been reading Fangoria since I was six years old and have every issue since 1987. To be a part of the Fangoria history is a dream come true. I remember the night I got the issue, it was at The Blood Shed premiere and all four of us were like kids in a candy shop. Joshua Nelson and I more so as we are the same age growing up with the magazine. My knees were shaking as I looked through the magazine. My friends and family were all there to share in that magazine, so I am very grateful and blessed for Alan Rowe Kelly and Michael Gingold for believing in my work. I can say the issue has solidified me as a filmmaker so it has helped me to talk to people who are like me trying to get a break in the film business. I get some recognition and work has stemmed out of it, so I am not complaining. But since I have been in Fangoria I now know I am responsible for working hard to deliver a great horror piece; not just simple blood and guts storytelling.

Vindication has been given a chance within the horror community, so the responsibility to deliver a movie that does more than just slice and dice characters for celluloid is important to me. It’s like the new Friday the 13th movie coming out in ’09. I know some people are moaning, but I will be first in line for this one. Jason is my favorite villain. Yes, Marcus Niespal and his team have a responsibility to make not just another Jason movie, but a great movie in general. Marcus is a great director so I am hoping this Jason will blow me out of the water. If not give me the money I know exactly what to do for a Jason story. Fangoria magazine has high expectations for filmmakers in the horror genre and just like audiences there are expectations when watching Vindication. If not Fangoria suffers and so does the genre. Look at the westerns, dead. Since Fangoria gave me a nod I now have to acknowledge back by ensuring Vindication is done right. So pressure is how Fangoria changed my life. Thanks Fangoria (laughs)!

7.) Dave: What sparks your creativity?

Bart: Oh, man, so many things spark my creativity. There is a great mystic from India his name is Pantajali, he lived around the third century B.C. and he talks about inspiration. Pantajali says when a person is inspired by some great purpose the mind begins to break boundaries and the consciousness expands and that person can then begin to discover he or she is a greater person than they ever dreamed themselves to be. So for me it may be a single image I see or a piece of music I hear that could start off my creative juices. I am very much inspired by life itself, even when tragedy is happening. When I am on a set I can start to see what the actors are bringing to the movie and it’s like the creative flow is racing through my system. The cast and crew laugh because I get all excited about what they are bringing to the project. Also, anything from a sunset, to museums, to sensuality, to even go whale watching off the coat of Long Island is all inspiring to me for creativity.

I love going to the theater, Off-Broadway has such talent, even photo galleries, just to see what the photographer is saying through visuals images. Dancers spark energy in me. They way they move and use dance to express themselves. It’s about the visual image; filmmakers have to be aware of it in the world around them; it is life that we are telling stories about. Now what I also feel helps me to continue to be creative is I love to physically work out and be try to maintain a healthy lifestyle, but a great cheeseburger from Paul’s Burger Joint on 2nd Ave. and St. Mark’s Place is inspiring, too (laughs). Staying physically fit just keeps me fresh and wanting to do more. It’s sad when I see people so tired and sleepy and negative all the time. Like many people, I too have seen and experienced a lot of unfortunate happenings in my life; I buried my dad after a two year battle with brain cancer. After his death I understood I have no time to wait around for things to come my way. Life really is too short. I put myself out there to experience life, take risks, which helps me to be creative in my work. Plus, I am a lucky S.O.B. I live in NYC the greatest city for all creative energy!

8.) Dave: What projects are you currently working on and what can we expect from you in the upcoming months?

Bart: I am finishing up cinematography work on Stolis’ Crossed, which I have seen a rough cut of the movie and I am blown away by how it is coming out as an action thriller. Then Stolis, the crew and I are then filming his thesis film for SVA this fall. Alan Rowe Kelly and I are working on a new short titled Down the Drain for a trilogy series he has worked on with Anthony Sumner (By Her Hands.). This would be the final piece to an anthology movie: By Her Hands and Far Cry from Home are the other two pieces. We all get started this June on Down the Drain so it will nice be working with Alan and Anthony again.

Besides all of that I am currently with Vindication in post production as Stolis is editing, Billy Archiello begins scoring for the movie in late May/early June and I have already heard some of it. Billy is creating a dramatic piece of music which uses horror, drama, and all these other emotions to add to the mood of the movie. Javier Rodriguez is going to soon be working on sound and then it is off to final sound mix with Tom Burns, who does Alan Rowe Kelly’s movies. Needless to say I am a very happy filmmaker right now. After post I then promote Vindication into film festivals and other venues plus distribution. Besides teaching high school seniors, I’m also teaching at the New York Film Academy in NYC where I teach camera and lighting to film students, which I am very excited about. I get to spread the good word of filmmaking even more (laughs), but I enjoy just helping and teaching people about helping them to study their craft. I seriously have to put myself out in the film world because I enjoy the work. Your work and your work ethics will define you, so just keep setting up goals and making sure you accomplish them. As for my own next big project, I just want to ensure that Vindication gets out there to find its audience.

9.) Dave: With online streaming video becoming such a hot commodity, do you think that the future of independent cinema is going to be online-based and if so, how do you feel about that?

Bart: I just came home from watching Jaws and Back to the Future at the Zeigfeld movie theater in Manhattan. I can’t begin to explain how big the screen is and how amazing it is to watch a movie up on the big screen. It is an event. I am in awe by the theater for motion pictures. How the lights dim the theater, to the projector emitting this huge source of light that flickers onto the screen and at 24 frames per second (normal speed) these images move an audience. That is church for me.

I am also of the generation between the movie theater and the on-line streaming, so both are a great way for filmmakers to get their work out there. Just watch Jaws, Star Wars, or Friday the 13th on the big screen and you will know why I love movies. I am not a fan of people capturing fifteen minutes of fame or watching movies on screens the size of my palm, that is ridiculous, but this new type of venue is the where the film community is also heading, so I have become a part of this new process. That doesn’t mean my work should suffer. If anything this knowledge now forces me to realize I can now promote my own work easier and still show it to mass audiences, right from the comfort of my own home. With online streaming there is much more competition so the market will flood making it even harder for not only independent filmmakers, but Hollywood, too. The world is changing radically through technology so are the audiences. If independent filmmakers want to thrive then they must become a part of this process. There will always be venues to get our work out there: Film festivals, conventions, midnight screenings, your own web site, even setting up your own makeshift theater to promote your movie. Plain and simple, we have to learn how to play the business game. Right now, Hollywood and even the music industry is learning like many of us are. They may have more money, but that doesn’t mean they have better stories to tell. I think Francis Ford Coppola said when he was making Apocalypse Now the future of filmmaking will be strapped onto a kid’s back. He was so right. If anything on-line streaming is just another outlet for independent filmmakers to showcase their work, BUT the artist must still maintain artistic integrity when creating work for all venues, including on-line streaming.

10.) Dave: What advice would you give to someone looking to enter the independent film industry?

Bart: Michelangelo said of his beautiful statue of David that David has always been in the marble, “I just had to chip away at it to get to him.” Be open-minded towards all art forms. Responsibility for making better movies is vital! Persistence! Determination! Believability within Self! Art and vision is what you will bring to the project, but remember this is an entertainment business that thrives on dollars and cents. You need to understand contracts and financial needs so don’t short change yourself in that regard. Outside of the business aspect, filmmakers have so much great equipment out there to tell stories. Making a movie can be an expensive at times and can be a tedious process, but the great independent filmmaker John Cassavetes proved that making an independent movie is very accessible. NO EXCUSES!

TALK IS CHEAP AND ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS!

There is no room in this business for lazy people, especially lazy filmmakers. Sorry, but the bottom line is get UP off your ass, get the equipment to go out and shoot something special. Be creative! Think outside the box. Know your resources to learn how to utilize them. The more you keep making movies and learning about the equipment – whether animation, documentaries, shorts, avant-garde, commercials, genre pictures or even feature films - the more you will see your work improve with the next project. If you need money to make a movie – get a job, save up, sell a screenplay, and then go out and make the movie. Trust me this business thrives on talk, so shut up and make your vision a reality. Filmmakers shouldn’t get caught up in the “should I shoot it on film or video?” nonsense! It’s like great painters arguing over water color or pastels. It is up to you. Just get started. If you do great work that is all they need to see. Build YOUR reel. Filmmaker’s go out to film! Start to capture life the way you see then let that light shine through the lens of your choice. Figure it out! All the answers are out there. There are over one-hundred ways to become involved creatively. Overall, you already know you are the catalysts for your own life; therefore you are responsible for how you live and how you film. Filmmaking isn’t an easy way of making a living, but when you are involved it is great feeling.

Who knows what the future holds, but as you have read this interview it is clearly obvious the people I have surrounded myself with have helped me to get to this point, it is impossible to do it alone, but without the persistence of believing in oneself then nothing would have happened. Being a filmmaker and my love for movies has changed my life and to a major extent it has also saved it. Aristotle in his book Poetics states, “Action defines character.” Well then dear reader, take action to define you as a filmmaker! Vindication was made with a simple thought in my mind, which now has transformed reality into action, “I too am a filmmaker.”

Bart’ Favorite Thirteen Horror Movies (or creepy ass movies)
(No order and it the list changes every week)
Jaws
Friday the 13th pts: 1- 4, 6, Freddy VS. Jason are the best of the series
Halloween – John Carpenter
Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein
Nightmare on Elm Street: 1, 3 and New nightmare are the best.
Psycho – Hitchcock’s of course
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1975 ( re-make was well done)
Seven
Requiem for a Dream
Grindhouse by Robert Rodriguez and Tarantino
The Last Winter – Larry Fessenden
The Mist – Frank Darabont
Taxi Driver

Thank you so much, Dave, for this opportunity to share some words with other fellow filmmakers, especially the horror crowd. I encourage all filmmakers to please let me know what they are doing. Contact me for any comments or questions. I welcome it.

I want to thank Bart Mastronardi for taking the time out of his busy schedule to answer my questions and for his extreme patience in waiting for them! A teacher, a filmmaker and a great guy on top of that, Bart's star is just beginning to fully shine and I appreciate getting to interview him before his talent turns into a supernova. Be on the lookout for this fantastic filmmaker and be sure to check out Vindication when it becomes available in the fall of ’08, but go the movie’s myspace for further details, too: http://www.myspace.com/vindicationmovie
For more information on Bart, visit his myspace page at http://www.myspace.com/mastropieceproduction.

DVD Review: Deadly End

2008-03-31T18:47:00.003-05:00

As Deadly End begins, I start wondering is it is too late to hit the eject button. But, I bravely sit through the poor sound and not-exactly-pristine video and eventually, I am rewarded with a movie that's not too bad. The story finds us following a young couple as they move into their new home in a suspiciously barren neighborhood. But not long after Bob and Wendy Peterson move in, their overbearing and off-kilter neighbor, Adrian Trumbull begins taking his "friendly" tendencies a little too far. What ensues is sometimes funny, sometimes gross and overall kind of nonsensicle. Deadly End features decent acting, with Nick Searcy giving a truly "gut-wrenching" performance. See the film and you'll know what I mean. Deadly End is a nice little film, but I don't think a lot of people will like it as it does push the limits. I, however, am not most people, and while I thought there were a few loose ends not tied up or never explained in the first place, I thought Deadly End was rather decent. Deadly End gets *** out of *****.

CD Review: Cheat the Devil by The Young Werewolves

2008-03-31T18:02:00.003-05:00

Philadelphia is probably best known in the music world as the birthplace of rhythym and blues, but don't let that fool you, it's also home to some of the best horror rock around, and no, I'm not talking about Richie Sambora's solo album. The Young Werewolves return with "Cheat the Devil," an album full of clawing guitars, snarling vocals and as if that weren't enough, the 'wolves grabbed Sid Haig! The legendary horror actor lends his deep baritone for the intro to "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" and he also gets an executive producer credit.

The CD starts off with the rollicking "Hollywood," a guitar-driven tune guaranteed to have you howling along with the chorus. Next up is "Mischief Night," and Shewolf Dana Kain sings this one like she'll just as soon stab you in the gut as soon as give you a wink. "Devil Dancer Girl" has the 'wolves showcasing their rockabilly tendencies and "Cheatin' the Devil" kicks it up a frenetic notch. I think I actually had flames coming out of my speakers when I cranked the latter tune up! Next up is "Run Away," one of the best overall songs on the album as far as lyrics and music are concerned, simply excellent. "Fire" starts like a slow burn and steadily heats up to an inferno of hellacious goodness! Following an ominous lead in by Mr. Haig, "Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde" slowly grows into a steady rocker. The eighth track, "Gala Monster Rally," is sure to be an instant Halloween party staple as it is purely groovy. "Satan's Daughter" finds the 'wolves back in their rockabilly groove with a little Reverand Horton Heat-esque attitude thrown in for good measure. "Touched by a Demon" and "Guns,Guns,Guns" are solid rockers and "Shapeshifter" has an instantly infectious groove that's primed for gyrating with your favorite wolf on the dance floor as everybody sings --"Everybody's howling, Everybody's howling in the moonlight!." The CD's final listed track is "Tattooed Aliens," and it's an enjoyable little ditty with some out-of-this-world guitar antics. There is a bonus track on the CD, and since it's not listed on the back of the disc, I'm not going to reveal it here. All I can say is it's a fitting song for these hungry 'wolves yet not a song I would have ever imagined them covering, but it just goes to show that when it comes to the Young Werewolves, they have plenty of suprises up their sleeves. Perhaps that's how they were able to Cheat the Devil!

The Young Werewolves are back! And they've brought with them a fantastic album full of diversity. From punk to rockabilly to pure rock-n-roll, the Young Werewolves show once again why they lead the horror rock pack in Philadelphia. Cheat the Devil is a hands-down winner - ****1/2 out of ***** aces!!

DVD Review: Catacombs

2008-03-03T05:54:00.002-05:00

From the producers of Saw, we get the new DVD release, Catacombs. Featuring Alecia Moore (Pink) in a small role, the movie takes place in the underground catacombs of Paris, where all of the all-night parties are really happening. Except, it would seem as if the party-goers aren't the only ones having fun in the dark!

The plot follows Victoria (Shannyn Sossamon) as she heads to Paris to visit her fun-loving sister Carolyn (Pink). At the urging of her sister, Victoria finds herself at an underground all-night rave. The emotionally-unbalanced-to-begin-with Victoria is in for the time of her life, or death, whichever way you look at it. There is a twist thrown in at the end, a slightly overused one, but it does work well with this story.

The acting was actually pretty good as well as the direction. The film's look was rather grainy, but maybe that was their intention. The scenes in the catacombs were often very claustrophobic and well-shot. As pitch black as it was down there, the director did a good job of effectively using the light sources the characters had.

I thought Catacombs was a decent little movie overall. There were some loose ends that were never tied unfortunately, but that didn't stop the movie from being unwatchable. Catacombs gets *** out of *****.

See The Kimballs LIVE!! For FREE!!

2008-02-25T15:14:00.004-05:00

Yeah, that's right! The Kimballs...for FREE!! As you can see in this killer poster above, the place is Otto's Shrunken Head Tiki Bar and Lounge on Sunday, March 2nd. If you're in the area around 6:45 pm, stop in and tell Tom Burns, "Dave sent me, man!" In case you didn't know, The Kimballs is the independent rock band headed by my main man and master horror composer, Tom Burns. Don't worry though, nobody usually dies at his shows...usually.

Before you leave, check out my interview with Tom by clicking HERE!!

10 Questions for...Jerry Murdock

2008-02-20T18:59:00.003-05:00

When most people think about B-movies or low-budget movies in general, the last thing they typically think about is stellar acting. But one glimpse of my next guest will have you thinking differently if you catch one of his groundbreaking performances. Equally adept at playing a bit part or an incredible dual role, Jerry Murdock is nothing if not consistently great! His latest role, as Sheriff Brogan in The Blood Shed is just another fantastic portrayal for the epitome of versatility that is Jerry Murdock! Now, without further ado, here are 10 Questions for…Jerry Murdock.

1.) Dave: How long have you been acting and how did you break into it?

Jerry: I “broke into it” when I was 26, by accident. I was bartending at a restaurant in upstate New York as a summer job where the owners put on dinner theater productions. The woman who ran the production company asked me if I was interested in trying out for an upcoming play, SHIP’S AHOY. The character was an all-American college football player, and I seemed to physically fit the bill. Actually, I found out later I was a desperation choice. She couldn’t find anyone else to do it! She didn’t even know if I could act my way out of a wet paper bag. Fortunately, I guess I had a knack for performing and after that show I continued on, doing comedy, drama, improv, in the regional theater circuit, really testing my chops. After a few years, I thought I would head down to New York to see if I could do film, television, or anything else. You can only kick around the upstate theater circuit for so long before you become a bitter community theater has-been with a drinking problem, complaining about your missed opportunities.

2.) Dave: How do you prepare for a role?

Jerry: I read the script a few times, picking up on little clues, and then sit down with the director and toss ideas at them. My goal is to make it interesting, whether it is speech, mannerisms, physical appearance or whatnot, when I end up on set, I try to be under the character’s skin. I’m not an obsessive planner, but I do give it ample thought. The one thing I try to be very cognizant of is to never repeat myself. I try to throw some dynamic into the performance that is different each time. I really don’t want to end up being a one-trick pony, doing the same bit over and over again.

3.) Dave: Your dual portrayal of twin brothers Jake and Mitch Geraldi in I'll Bury You Tomorrow was incredible. I actually had to wait until the end credits to make sure that both characters were played by you. How did you manage that memorable performance?

Jerry: I’m flattered that people enjoyed that performance, because Alan Rowe Kelly will tell you that I never thought we could pull it off. You know, the wig, make-up, contact lenses and all that can only take you so far. The performances could have very easily fell into some bad characterization, and the whole thing would have made the film and myself look foolish, which is what I was convinced was happening while we were shooting it. Alan deserves a lot of the credit because he not only guided me on what was working and not working with the two characters; he was constantly re-assuring me that the whole concept would be effective. I didn’t believe it until it was finally screened and I realized we did fool people. I think all that doubt I had when shooting helped tremendously.

4.) Dave: What inspires you creatively?

Jerry: People, all kinds of different people. I could sit in a park all day and just check out the way people act, talk, and carry themselves. You sit back and try to figure out their story. The couple arguing, the guy talking to himself, the girl crying, the old man laughing, they all have a story. I find it interesting to wonder why, which leads to all kinds of creative impulses when it comes time to “create”. Also, great films, great music, great art, it can all be inspiring.

5.) Dave: You've acted in soap operas, independent horror movies, commercials and a wide range of other projects. What is your favorite genre of work and why?

Jerry: Horror movies, by far. You really get a chance to let loose, and the more outrageous the character, the better. I have to say, though, that I really haven’t had too many opportunities to do a drama, or other serious pieces. I would like to tackle something like that, eventually. I do love comedy. I did a short film last year called DING DONG DATE, and it reminded me how much I loved comedy when I was doing the theater work. I would love to do more. The soap opera and commercial work were less gratifying because it was usually just minor scenes; say your few bit lines, hit your marks and take your check. No input, no creative freedom. The benefit, however, was the money!

6.) Dave: Are you more comfortable in front of the screen, or do you have a desire to work behind the camera at some point?

Jerry: I’m comfortable in front of the camera, but I’m one of those guys that would like to direct one day. Right now, I’m not sure I’m ready to take that leap. What I do when I’m on set is to watch and listen to the creative processes of the filmmakers that I work with. That’s the best film school there is, in my opinion. Whether it is Alan Rowe Kelly, Bart Mastronardi, Stolis Hadjicharalambous, or Anthony Sumner, I have learned something from each of them. So one day, I’ll try to tackle a project of my own, and try not to beat the actors with sharp sticks, like those clowns do.

7.) Dave: What are your favorite and least favorite parts of the acting process?

Jerry: Shooting with other amazing actors. When working opposite a strong actor, it really ups the ante and pushes me to be better. When they are right there with you, it makes me, the scene and the film better. Fearless actors; that’s the best part, and I’ve been quite fortunate to have had the pleasure of working with my share. The least favorite part of the acting process is actually finishing a project. If it’s a part I really enjoyed, I go through withdrawal when it’s all over.

8.) Dave: What will we be seeing you in next?

Jerry: Well, this is going to be an interesting year. It’s as if the floodgates have opened. I have two films I’ve appeared in and I’m quite proud of; Bart Mastronardi’s VINDICATION and Stolis Hadjicharalambous’s CROSSED which are going to be phenomenal. Be sure to keep your eye open for those.
I also finished Anthony Sumner’s BY HER HAND, which is going to be teamed with Alan Rowe Kelly’s long-simmering A FAR CRY FROM HOME for a yet-untitled anthology piece. Alan will be shooting the third chapter of the anthology, DOWN THE DRAIN, this spring, where I’ll appear as a nebbish down-on his luck teacher. Also, we have the web series THE HOLLOWS set to roll sometime this year, where I’ll play an alcoholic minister. There are a few other potential projects that aren’t confirmed yet, but it would be great if they panned out. As you can see, it will be a busy year, and will certainly keep me off the streets.

9.) Dave: If your life had taken another road, what do you think you would be doing if you were not an actor?

Jerry: Well, my life has taken another road. I’m a teacher, and consider myself an actor part-time. I essentially perform five times a day. Just imagine trying to make history entertaining for kids! I’ve got my bag of tricks, and the kids seem to enjoy my class, so it’s gratifying. Right now I’m finishing up my master’s degree and am considering going on to get my doctorate. Perhaps I’ll teach at the university level one day. So, first and foremost, I’m a teacher, but the acting aspect will always be with me. I look forward to doing it as I age rather gracefully, I hope.

10.) Dave: If someone was interested in entering the acting profession, what would be the best advice you could give that person?

Jerry: Get involved and just do it. That’s the only way to get ahead. I’m not a big supporter of acting schools and teachers to help you “act”. Granted, there are a few who are worth their salt, but most of them are scams, with bitter failed actors who are forced to teach to pay the bills. The problem is, there are so many of them, you’re more than likely to fall into a meaningless class with a failed “professional” actor as a teacher. They won’t give you an honest assessment of your talent or potential, because you pay their bills for all the priceless wisdom they bestow upon you.
The harsh reality of this business is: you’ve either ‘got it’ or you don’t. The only way to find out if you’ve got the chops to make a go at this profession is to get out there and audition for any kind of role you can get your hands on (except porn, the career killer!). You’ll find out rather quickly where you stand in the acting food chain. Be patient, thick-skinned and persistent. If you’ve got the talent, let the chips fall where they may.

I want to thank Jerry Murdock for taking the time out of his busy schedule to answer my questions. If you haven't had the pleasure to witness one of Jerry Murdock's performances, then you are missing out on the work one of the better actors in the industry. Memorable roles, remarkable performances and quite frankly, a hell of a guy, discover more about Jerry Murdock by visiting his Myspace page at http://www.myspace.com/jermrdk.

DVD Review: Primal

2008-02-20T18:26:00.004-05:00

When my email inbox notified me that I was getting the new release Primal, I was excited to say the least. As you probably already know, I'm a Bigfoot freak. I try to see every film, every documentary or television program about the beast and I try to read every book I can find on him as well. And while I love researching the big guy, I cannot say that I'm an expert on him. But of this I am certain, the monster in Primal is about as far away from Bigfoot as the Loch Ness Monster is! I actually had to reverse the DVD to make sure I saw what I thought I saw!

That being said, the monster is not just the film's weak spot, but it's also what makes the film so endearing. No, I'm not smoking Bigfoot dung! You have to watch the movie to see what I mean. Upon first glance of the beast, I was ready to take a hammer to my DVD player for displaying such a contrived juvenile monstrosity such as this before my eyes. But alas, my garage is in such a shambles, I had no choice but to let the disc play (what, get up and turn the disc off manually? Never!).

Once I settled into the movie, I was surprised to discover that I was actually liking this thing. I wasn't loving it, but I was sitting there with a stupid look on my face like the look I make when I actually get a warm Big Mac from my local McDonalds. A rare, nice surprise.

Oh, as for the plot, a bunch of kids venture into an unchartered part of the forest as they are doing a survelliance mission for big oil, and they get knocked off one by one by you know who (in a series of repetitive attacks). A small film that's big on ambition, Primal won't be winning any awards, but it was fun nonetheless. I give Primal *** out of *****.

10 Questions for...Tom Burns

2008-02-18T16:02:00.004-05:00

Have you ever noticed how a film's score can add to the experience of watching a memorable movie? With subtle undertones, skin-crawling crescendos and light melodies composed to get the hair on the back of your neck to stand, Tom Burns has been stamping his fingerprint notes on many award-winning independent films like The Blood Shed and I'll Bury You Tomorrow as well as with his indie rock group, The Kimballs. A musician since the tender age of five, Tom Burns is also the founder of his own music production company, Really Horrible Music. It's truly my pleasure to give to you, 10 Questions for…Tom Burns!

1.) Dave: How did your career in music begin?

Tom: My Dad worked as a double bass player, and my Mom had done some singing, so music and musicians were regarded very highly in our house. When my aunt bought me a tiny drum kit for my fifth birthday, I realized that making music was what I wanted to do.

I played music in school every chance I got, and in my teens I played in bands with my friends, including drummer Michael Mark, my partner in THE KIMBALLS.

I also studied privately with the late Jack Winters, a brilliant percussionist and composer from the Manhattan avant-garde music scene. He introduced me to great 20th Century composers like György Ligeti, Krzysztof Penderecki and Iannis Xenakis, whose works inspired me to write and record my own compositions.

2.) Dave: Can you explain your process of scoring a film?

Tom: I start by watching a final cut of the film, and I talk with the director about what stylistic direction he or she wants to take the project in. We make notes regarding specific cues. Then I decide on the instrumentation and sound design, write some parts and record the music.

When I work on film projects with Alan Rowe Kelly, the process starts a lot earlier. I often go location scouting with him, so I start to get ideas for the score by walking through the “movie” in real-life!

3.) Dave: What inspires you creatively?

Tom: Listening to great, recorded music and watching great musicians perform always helps.

4.) Dave: What musical composition (either in film or outside of it) are you most proud of?

Tom: I’LL BURY YOU TOMORROW, “Main Theme. ” Orlando Wells is a world-class violinist and violist, and is also a good friend. He performed all of the live string playing on the recording. His virtuoso technique and his knowledge of extended techniques gave my score the balance of pretty/scary that I was shooting for.

5.) Dave: What is your all-time favorite film score (not your own) and why?

Tom: Max Steiner, KING KONG, 1933. The vivid musical themes make all of the characters bigger than life; the instrumentation is so rich, from Manhattan to Skull Island and back. It’s the template for the modern Hollywood blockbuster score.

6.) Dave: In most B-movies, the audio typically suffers, but not in the films where your music appears. How does your music remain so crisp in these films?

Tom: I was fortunate to learn from some of the best recording engineers in the industry, when I worked as an assistant engineer at Axis Studios in New York City. Pioneer, dance music producer Francois Kevorkian owned the studio, and his attention to detail is legendary!

After Axis closed and I started working as a freelance editor/engineer, I was able to put together a good project studio of my own, which is how I started Really Horrible Music. My dear friend Alan Rowe Kelly was my first client, and the first project we did was his film I’LL BURY YOU TOMORROW.

7.) Dave: Do you ever find yourself creatively blocked and if so, how do you get over it?

Tom: Get out of the studio! This weekend I went to a punk rock show with my wife, scream queen Katherine O’Sullivan and my good friend actor Jerry Murdock – we had a blast! After I’ve had some fun, I’m usually ready to get back to work.

8.) Dave: When you score a film, how much musical direction do you get from the director?

Tom: I think a good director knows he or she is working with a good composer when they can give you a final cut, tell you what they’re aiming for and then leave you to it.

Working with Alan Rowe Kelly is a special situation for me, because we’ve been friends for so long, and we have a lot of the same ideas about what’s cool in a horror film!

9.) Dave: What upcoming projects do you have in the works?

Tom: I just finished the score for Alan Rowe Kelly’s upcoming horror short, A FAR CRY FROM HOME. I used all vintage, analog equipment to convey the 1970’s grind-house feel that Alan had in mind. Now we have to sync everything to picture and mix the sound, so there’s plenty of work ahead.

I’m also expanding my Really Horrible Music studio to include post-production services, which is exciting but requires a lot of planning.

In March, I’m recording a free improvisation session with my old friend Richard Kimball; that should be fun. His band, Panic Attack Pills, has a terrific song in A FAR CRY FROM HOME.

10.) Dave: If you were able to pick a project, any project, what would your dream project be?

Tom: My dream project is always my current project. I hope they keep coming!

Between composing films, writing or performing with The Kimballs and managing Really Horrible Music, Tom is incredibly busy, so I am truly honored that he has taken the time to spend with us here today. To learn more about this magical composer, check out his Myspace page at http://www.myspace.com/reallyhorriblemusic. For more on The Kimballs, visit http://www.myspace.com/thekimballs or the band's official website at http://www.thekimballsrock.com/.

*Photo by George Schaller

DVD Review: Boogeyman 2

2008-02-11T23:03:00.000-05:00

Ghosthouse rolls out the second installment in its Boogyman franchise and while it's definitely better than the first, it still has a way to go. Boogeyman 2 features the talent of one Tobin Bell, who is better known as Jigsaw in the Saw films and while his acting is good, it's not really that far of a stretch for the actor. Here's what I liked about this film: the "boogeyman" was a little more effective in this film, expecially since it wasn't a CGI character, there were a few "jump" instances and the sound was quite good. Plus, the plot was a little better this time around, although it's not what you would call robust.

The plot follows a brother and sister, who watched as their parents were brutally murdered when they were young. After the brother finally gets out of the psychiatric hospital, his sister decides to go in to fight her fear of the boogeyman. Unfortunately, it looks like the boogeyman followed her in and one by one, people start to die.

The characters in this film are all rather annoying and you really don't feel too bad when they bite the dust. Boogeyman 2 plays like a cross between Boogeyman and the Freddy Krueger films, and while it doesn't really work, it was at least watchable. There is a third Boogeyman in the works, so it will be interesting to see if it can advance on the series the way this one did on the first. As for Boogeyman 2, I give it **1/2 out of *****.

Short Film Review: The Pod

2008-02-07T23:10:00.000-05:00

Jeremiah Kipp's well-received short film The Pod came across my desk the other day and I have to say, once I watched it, I immediately had to watch it again. The film has been making its way on the indie movie circuit and has been granted many good reviews and has even been selected as One of the 10 Best Unseen Films of 2006 by Film Threat, so needless to say, my interest was piqued.

My first reaction was, "This isn't a horror film." But once you let the film set in, you begin to realize the layers and the complexities that the film encompasses. It is only then that you realize, while it's not horror in the traditional sense, it is horror on an emotional level. The Pod stays with you long after the 19 minutes are up and it's one of those films that can instigate some good movie conversations.

As for the plot, the film follows the crumbling relationship of Caroline and Jonas. In an act of desperation to regain their connection, Jonas purchases a dose of the new relationship drug, the pod. The only thing is, you can't take the drug separately from your lover. If you do, look out. Needless to say, Jonas does.

The film is masterfully directed by Kipp, and he increases the tension with each passing minute. In addition, his actors do their jobs perfectly. Especially noteworthy was the performance of Mary Remington, who played the character Caroline with ruthless abandon. Another thing about the film that struck me as significant was that the film's soundtrack was absolutely perfect. At times hectic and crazy, it totally set the mood for the film without you even knowing it.

This is a short film that I can definitely see being expanded into a feature-length film at some time. I think that the premise is excellent to support it, and I would definitely welcome another dose of The Pod. I give it ****1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Hack!

2008-02-05T19:15:00.000-05:00

Pop question, hotshot. What do you get when you combine the former good girl next door from the Wonder Years, a former soap-opera heartthrob, Duke and Paulie from the Rocky movies, the former vampire queen from Buffy, Kane Hodder and William Forsythe? Well, you get one hell of a fun movie, that's what! The horror/comedy Hack! takes you back to the good old days of slasher films.

All throughout the movie, you are treated to honorable nods to horror's past. For instance, if you look closely, you'll notice the name of the boat that takes to the co-eds to the island is Orca. Plus, with character names like Bates, Argento and Q, you know that writer/director Mike Flynn appreciates that which he pokes fun.

The film starts out brilliantly with Kane Hodder cast in the unenviable position that his victims are normally in. From there, we tag along with a group of co-eds as they travel to a remote island, the guests of the filmmakers who live there, for a weekend of studying nature. One-by-one, the co-eds begin to fall in traditional and enjoyable fashion. In terms of plot, Hack! is anything but surprising, but what is truly surprising is that you won't even care, because yes, it is well made and quite funny. I give Hack! **** out of *****. C'mon, if you don't laugh when the girl in the cage yells to William Forsythe, "Free us, Willy!" then you don't know what's funny.

10 Questions for...Mike Lane

2008-01-20T10:58:00.000-05:00

Today, I get the immense pleasure of interviewing one of today’s most versatile actors on the independent film scene, Mike Lane. Currently, Mike is receiving critical acclaim for his portrayal of Hubcap Bullion in the unabashedly brilliant film, The Blood Shed. An actor whose subtleties speak volumes, he has the uncanny ability to steal any scene that he’s a part of, even if he’s slightly off center (screen, that is). I’m thrilled to give you 10 Questions for…Mike Lane!

1.) Dave: What was your first role and how did you land the part?

Mike: I played an up and coming mobster in an independent movie shot on Long Island. I think the original actor had bailed and I was called and given the part really close to the shooting day. It might have been the night before.

I was really sick that day and my face looked was really pale. More pale than usual. I had no lines but I got to beat up the lead character. Alas, I was then killed by a baseball bat.

I never received a copy of the movie and don’t even know if it was finished.

That was eight years ago.

Another one of my early gigs was an extra in a Verizon commercial. Times Square in New York City was closed off overnight and I along with hundreds of actors stood in the middle of the street making “V” signs with our hands. I don’t do extra work anymore.

2.) Dave: When did you know that you wanted to be an actor?

Mike: I had always enjoyed acting as kid and I used to make movies at home and school with friends.

What triggered my desire to pursue acting as a career was when I saw Star Wars Episode I :The Phantom Menace. I looked at Anakin at the end and thought “Wow he looked like me when I was his age. Wouldn’t it be cool if I had a part in a Star Wars movie?” After that thought, I had an epiphany that I wanted to be an actor. How’s that for a thought process?

I’m sure something else would have triggered this urge to act but it just happened to be Star Wars. I wrote about this experience in detail at: http://www.lightanddark.net/MikeLaneCommentary.htm#Star_Wars_and_Me

3.) Dave: What does your family think about your career choice and the films you’ve been in?

Mike: They are extremely supportive regarding my career. They were naturally worried at first due to the competitive nature of the business but they knew that I knew the risks involved.

My dad has watched everything I’ve done. My mom can’t watch me in any of my horror movies though since they’re not her thing.

I do feel very awkward when they watch a scene I’m in that has any kind of sexual content. It’s weird that I can watch movies I’m in with my Dad where I’m hacking people to pieces or getting killed, but if a naked woman is next to me in a scene I feel strange. What a society we live in.

4.) Dave: How do you prepare for a role?

Mike: It all starts with the text. I take the lines off the page and respond instinctually to each line at the moment. I follow a lot of the guidelines in How to Stop Acting by Harold Guskin which is the best acting book I’ve read. Starting with the text is one of them.

I’ve recently read the book so I look forward to putting Guskin’s approach into action. I had a much different approach in the past.

I also do some research on the characters I play but I don’t go too crazy with it. For example in my next movie, Scott Perry’s Insatiable, I play a wannabe vampire who is a serial killer. I have read a bunch articles about why real wannabe vampire serial killers do what they do just to get into their head. My research does sometimes creep in the scene at the moment. It’s all about the moment and I don’t want to force anything while acting. I sound, like, so Zen, man.

Guskin’s technique stresses that the actor still explore the possibilities of the character even during the performance. This makes the acting spontaneous, unpredictable and exciting. I strive for those qualities in any performance I give.

5.) Dave: Who or what inspires you creatively?

Mike: I am inspired by failure. When I hear of a person who had success and then lost it or never had success but tried, I feel better. This inspires me since there is someone worse off or in the same boat as me. This makes me feel better about myself, more comfortable and inspires me to work in a creative capacity. Misery certainly loves company.

I hate hearing success stories because they present a false sense of reality. Not everyone who tries to succeed will succeed. It’s a fact of life. A lot of shows and products try to convince you that anything is possible and this is not always the case. Plus I get jealous and envious of really successful people flaunting their wares around.

I certainly hope for the best but expect the worst.

On a more positive note, almost anything and everything is inspiring to me. Music, books, movies, talk radio, great debates, looking outside my window, people watching etc. Sometimes the simplest things get my creative juices flowing.

Some of my favorite movies deal with an underdogs fight against the establishment. Movies like Dead Poets Society, Glory and the original Star Wars trilogy come to mind and that is very inspiring.

6.) Dave: Did you have any input into your character in The Blood Shed, Hubcap Bullion, and whose idea was it for you to wear the hair clips (genius, by the way)?

Mike: Yes I had input on Hubcap. What’s great about Alan Rowe Kelly is that he is so receptive when it comes to creative input from anyone involved in his movie.

The character description for Hubcap was that he is “a lazy eyed sloth.” I immediately thought of the trick I can do with my eye which is usually the face I make when I’m just waking up.

When I read “sloth” I thought of slow and lazy so I started speaking Hubcap’s lines really slow. During the first table read, my lines were spoken even slower than they are in the movie. After discussing Hubcap with Alan we tweaked the character and decided to speed up my delivery.

The character of Hubcap also evolved during the shoot and I threw in some improvised rambling and other actions during some scenes.

The Blood Shed was a truly collaborative effort with Alan having the final say. Most of the time, however, he just let the actors do what we wanted but was always there if we had a question. This is one of the reasons why the movie was incredibly fun to shoot, why it turned out as great as it did and why Alan is one of my favorite directors to work with.

The hair clips as well as Hubcap’s wardrobe and look were all from the beautifully demented mind of Alan Rowe Kelly. Let’s not forget my tattered fishing vest and arm full of watches.

7.) Dave: What do you like to do when you’re not acting?

Mike: I’ve been getting into eating a raw vegan diet. I’ve been a vegan for over seven years but I’m slowly trying to transition to eating more of a raw diet since it’s one of the healthiest ways to eat. It’s a pain in the ass since to prepare some of the food because it’s a complete lifestyle change but I am enjoying the health benefits.

I also like going to raw vegan restaurants, hanging with friends at bars that play great music, reading, going to movies, spending time with family and friends, playing guitar and listening to Howard Stern, music and other kinds of talk radio while I work. Sirius satellite radio rules!

There must be a balance between my professional and personal life. If there is not, I will go insane. I recently figured this out. It took me long enough.

8.) Dave: What are the best and worst things about being an actor in independent films?

Mike: Let’s save the worst for last.

One of the best parts is that a lot of the work is edgier since there is rarely any compromise. I’m attracted to that kind of work regardless of the genre. Taking that kind of risk is exciting.

The camaraderie is great in indie film. The actors and crew are all together since there is usually no budget for separating everybody into trailers so a family atmosphere is created. The Blood Shed was one of the best sets ever because of this camaraderie.

The Worst:

The money is not good for anybody. Everybody is roughing it from the actors to the crew.

Since the money is not good there are sometimes not the most professional people involved. I’ve seen and experienced loads of incompetence. Some examples are::

-Actors and/or crew being late or not showing up
-Not receiving a finished movie after working incredibly hard on it
-Movies not being completed and not receiving a copy after working incredibly hard on them.
-Not being paid when promised I would.

I can go on and on. If I did this only for the money I would have quit a long time ago.

9.) Dave: Your talent has been widely recognized in films like The Tenement and The Blood Shed. Have you ever considered making the leap to Hollywood?

Mike: No. I’m a New Yorker. I have friends and family here. I would go to Hollywood if the work was available though. I would go anywhere to work but I would not like looking for a job in an unfamiliar place.

I would like to have Hollywood come to me instead of the other way around. With the advent of digital filmmaking and the internet making the world smaller, it’s not a necessity to go there. I know most film and TV work is found in Hollywood but if I’m going to “make it” it will be on my terms.

10.) Dave: What will we be seeing you in next?

Mike: Bill Zebub’s The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made will be premiering February 21st at The Clash Bar in Clifton NJ at 9pm. I play the Muslim Bartender and Gay Witness which are both principal roles. The movie will most likely be distributed since all of Bill’s movies land some kind of distribution. It’s a wildly offensive comedy that, believe it or not, does contain a positive message.

I recently had my whole face and body cast for an exhibit at the Civil War Museum in Kenosha Wisconsin. My likeness will be used to portray a hungry soldier.

I can also be seen as the focal point of a print ad for Dentek.

I’m currently the lead role Scott Perry’s Insatiable and a supporting player in the audio drama The Age of the Swords from Lion’s Mouth Entertainment. I also have a role in Alan’s The Hollows shooting in March.

I have other projects lined up but I won’t announce them until they are definite. Fortunately I’ve been keeping busy.

Without a doubt, Mike Lane is one of the most talented and versatile character actors of our time and with his incredible ability, he’s sure to get the notoriety he deserves. I want to thank Mike for taking a few moments out of his busy schedule to answer my questions. For more information about Mike, visit his website at http://www.lightanddark.net/MikeLane.htm, and then check out the website for his most recent film, The Blood Shed at http://www.thebloodshed.net/.

DVD Review: I'll Bury You Tomorrow

2008-01-14T19:30:00.000-05:00

This much I now know. Alan Rowe Kelly is a genius. Hey, I'm not just saying that because I loved The Blood Shed (read the review HERE) and I was also granted a great interview him (click HERE to read it). I'm saying it because I just watched his first movie, I'll Bury You Tomorrow, and for a first-time director, it was very, very good. Why? How about the fact that even though it took three years to complete, the film is seamless. How about the fact that he has actors in his films who quite simply are amazing. Or, how about the fact that his films have a professional look, sound and feel to them that you simply don't get from many other independent films. I'll Bury You Tomorrow features a brilliant cast - Katherine O'Sullivan, Zoe Daelman Chlanda and perhaps most noteworthy, Jerry Murdock, as he takes on the challenge of dual characters effortlessly.

The plot follows a young, mysterious woman who takes on a job at a small town funeral home. To say that she has some skeletons in the closet is an understatement! Anyway, here's what ensues - corpse stealing, black market organ selling, murder, high drama and oh yeah, necrophilia. No, Alan Rowe Kelly doesn't play by the rules. In fact, this little independent thriller even breaks the rules by clocking in at a minute shy of two hours! I have to admit, while watching this film, I was transported back to the glory days of campy horror. The tone of the film, the angles, the acting, the design, the Hitchcock-esque score - they're all indicative of an Alan Rowe Kelly film. Watch this film very closely and you will quietly see a great filmmaker being born right before your eyes. I give I'll Bury You Tomorrow **** out of *****.

10 Questions for...Alan Rowe Kelly

2008-01-10T19:49:00.000-05:00

Boy, are we in for a treat today! I was recently able to grab a few minutes with one of independent film’s busiest and most talented people. One of horror’s most glamorous scribes, Alan Rowe Kelly not only writes his films, but he acts, produces and directs them as well. His latest film, The Blood Shed, recently won the Best Feature award at the Dark Carnival Film Festival. A true talent in the industry, and one who Next Tuesday Magazine voted Best Director and Best Writer for his debut film I’ll Bury You Tomorrow in 2003, I am extremely pleased and incredibly honored to give you 10 Questions for…Alan Rowe Kelly!

1.) Dave: How did you get your first start in film?

Alan: A total accident! 1999 is when I began my 4-year journey of getting I’ll Bury You Tomorrow written, filmed, edited and distributed. Previous to that, my experience began as a make-up artist in the film and television industry – which I still work at it steadily today. Becoming a filmmaker happened quite by accident. My partners on IBYT had their own film & video production company and I worked many jobs for them as a make up stylist. We discussed our love for the genre and how fun it would be to make an old fashioned B-horror film and 'Bingo' - a fire alarm went off in my head. “Free equipment!” Once we realized how much money we would save on equipment, rentals, etc., we decided to go for it! They had the technical know-how and I had the writing talent and organizational skills for producing. We figured once we got started, we would quickly know if filming a horror movie would be 'a go' for us or not.

I’ll Bury You Tomorrow was not an easy shoot. It took three years to make, primarily shooting on weekends. My biggest challenge was to simply complete it! It took its toll on the cast and crew and, for some time, it looked as if it was never going to happen. Leads dropped out and had to be replaced. Scenes had to be shot over, money ran out, and the interest from partners dwindled. But like most low-budget movies, we made it through and the completion itself is a testament to the tenacity and support of my cast and crew. I never skimped on time or rushed through something to get it done. Since it was my first time as a director – and that was only because the “original director” never showed up for the first days of shooting - I aimed for an amount of professionalism on screen and behind-the-scenes, and, quite fortunately, everyone involved believed in it too. The film did very well on the indie circuit, won awards and was my initiation into this crazy world of independent horror.

2.) Dave: What is your writing routine like?

Alan: It’s a daily thing. At least 2 to 3 hours a day/night – whenever it comes to me. There is no rhyme or reason to the way I write but I love to tell a good story. I still type like a newspaper reporter in an old movie! I don’t use the script programs, or format my pages, or utilize any of the easier methods available for a writer on a computer. I am very old fashioned that way.

But at least when I’m done, every actor, cameraman, editor and producer who reads my script always comes back knowing exactly where the story, the characters, the setting, and look of the film is going. My scripts are part novella, part production notes all in one. It just works for me and my crew that way, so why fix it if it ain’t broke?

It excites me even to know that my point of view on paper can look exactly as written on film – if not better. So when its time for cast readings, rehearsals, and the actual filming, everyone knows and understands exactly where they have to be – yet still have plenty of room for improvisation.

I am totally glued to my scripts until that very moment when I call “Action”. Then everything tends to change, and usually for the better. I use my scripts only as a template the work day – so if changes have to be made, we make them right there at that very moment. I’m not overly attached to my words, just the point they get across on camera. And if an actor has an easier and more beneficial way of conveying that point – I’m all for it! As long as it looks good and the story moves smoothly.

The Blood Shed was a very different script than what I normally write. It was mostly a series of vignettes like many foreign films follow. A sort of “a day in the life of…” storyline. The Blood Shed was originally written as a short for the horror anthology Hung By A Thread. But it became so much bigger when filming it that we had to make it a feature. I found it very interesting that a lot of American critics really liked the film – but felt it totally lacked a plot of any kind. I always thought it had a strong beginning, middle and end. But then, a lot of folks expect a film to be only one way in structure without deviation of any kind. In the end, I’m the one who is happy with the results. If I can’t look at that film and like it – no one else is going to either.

3.) Dave: What are your favorite and least favorite parts of the filmmaking process?

Alan: All the aspects of filmmaking are my favorite part! From conception, to pre- production, to filming, to post and it’s release. Each step is a different job where I get to wear many different hats and thrive in each department. I just want to know ALL there is to making and completing a film. I want be knowledgeable of what everyone does. That’s a director’s job. That’s my favorite part, creating with other talented minds and making movies. I have learned SO much and continue to learn more and more. It’s been a remarkable education. My least favorite part about filmmaking is Financing! It is the hardest part and the dirtiest. Always an uphill battle!

4.) Dave: What inspires you creatively?

Alan: A good scare. A great horror movie. Anything that is offbeat or bent.

5.) Dave: Where did the idea for The Blood Shed come from?

Alan: It was originally slated as a short for the Hung By A Thread horror anthology that I’m producing with filmmakers’ Michael Todd Schneider and Tyler Tharpe. I knew the “cannibal family” theme had been used to the umpteenth power and I didn’t want to copy all of the Mother’s Day-American Gothic-Hills Have Eyes-TCM films, so instead we parodied them. We knew the film would be vulgar, loud, tasteless and nutty – but I never thought it would be so hilarious until we started editing. Then we began laughing our asses off! We could have taken the film it to a total serious level if we wanted, but I thought we had sort of a unique hybrid here and wanted to go for something entirely different. Everyone compares it to a John Waters’ film, simply because there is really nothing else to compare it too and you have a large man in a dress! We knew from the beginning that viewers would either love it or totally hate it. It’s just that kind of movie and I wasn’t afraid to take that chance because I loved the finished product so much. And the reviews have been very good indeed, considering!

6.) Dave: As a writer, director, producer and actor, your talents are evident and quite impressive. Do you have any artistic or non-artistic endeavors outside of filmmaking?

Alan: No! LOL! I’m such a nerd! My fun is driving, scouting and photographing film locations, writing, and watching bad B-horror! And I’ll never say no to drinks at a bar with friends! But I have to admit that my favorite thing to do is hike and climb in the woods.

7.) Dave: Jerry Murdock, Joshua Nelson, Katherine O’Sullivan and Zoë Daelman Chlanda have been in a number of your films. Where did you all meet and what’s it like working with them?

Alan: I’m more than happy to talk about how special these people are! Jerry, Katherine and Zoë I met while auditioning roles for I’ll Bury You Tomorrow.

They have been my great friends ever since and just recently Katherine married my dear friend and music composer Tom Burns. They met on the set of IBYT! I will always work with these talents and try to put them in every film I do. And now following The Blood Shed with my next (and best!) completed piece A Far Cry From Home for Hung By A Thread, I have added the great talents of Joshua Nelson, Terry M. West, Mike Lane, Susie Adriensen, Don Money, Robert Norman, Sandra Schaller and Benzy to my acting roster! I have to admit I have been extremely fortunate in the acting department as far as the talent I have been able to assemble. They give their all, believe in my projects and are pretty fearless in the chances they take once the camera rolls. I think they trust me enough to know that I would never let anything less than their best takes appear on screen. We’ve really become quite a close-knit family. That’s the best reward.

8.) Dave: With the positive reviews for The Blood Shed pouring in, will we be seeing you and the gang at any upcoming horror conventions in 2008?

Alan: I will be attending Chiller this May as a vendor and hitting a lot of film festivals to promote Hung by A Thread. But I’ll be quite honest Dave, for the years I’ve been in this business and for all the press I get, I have yet to be invited as a guest to ANY of these big convention events with all the other indie directors and stars. If I don’t pay for a vendor table, I have to stand on line for hours to get a ticket to see people I know and work with – so go figure! It’s a bit tired.

9.) Dave: With Pink Eye and Hung by a Thread hopefully being released soon, what can we expect next from the twisted mind of Alan Rowe Kelly?

Alan: I just finished producing a fantastic short thriller called By Her Hand for award-winning director Anthony G. Sumner (W.O.R.M.). I loved working on this project and especially being asked to produce it, cast it, art direct it and use my aesthetic throughout the film. Presently I am completing a script for a web series called The Hollows that will begin shooting this March. Zoë, Katherine, Jerry and myself will be in it, as well as Raine Brown, Keith Fraser, Jessie May Laumann, Miguel Lopez, and Blood Shed’s Susan Adriensen, Josh Nelson and Mike Lane. There’s a few more ‘special guests’ whom I still need to confirm, and once that’s in place we’re ready to go! It will be five 24-minute episodes in the vein of Twin Peaks and Dark Shadows. It’s a new medium and I want to try it out!

I also have a ton of screenplays ready to film! Unhallowed Ground, SPORE! A Murder of Crows, Sudden Fear and a Xmas horror tale called You Better Watch Out! There is also a Blood Shed sequel floating around, just in case we decide to go really crazy! So as you can see I have a lot of stories to tell and each one takes on a different category or theme in the horror genre. I never wish to write or make the same film twice.

As for acting, I’ll appear in the The Hollows this March/April and a bunch of films I co-starred will be debuting throughout 2008 such as Bart Mastronardi’s Vindication, Stolis Hadjicharalambous’ Crossed, Michael Todd Schneider’s Opening The Mind and Tate Steinsiek’s The Devoured.

10.) Dave: Where do you see both yourself and your film career in five years?

Alan: I hope I’m still right here David! LOL! Only in five years I’d like to have all the screenplays mentioned above as completed films and expand my production company to support and produce not only films I want to make, but also the works of other talented filmmakers as well. I want to be the Roger Corman of my day and always remain independent. I love this genre and all the changes it goes through. I’ll always work extremely hard to maintain a strong sense of production value and tell a good story. I just want to continue to make movies as best as I can, and my way.

I want to thank my guest, Alan Rowe Kelly, for giving us a brief glimpse into his life as one of today’s most important independent filmmakers. For more information about this incredible talent, visit his website at http://www.alanrowekelly.net/ or check out the website for his recently released film The Blood Shed at http://www.thebloodshed.net/.

CD Review: The Traveling Vampire Show by Calabrese

2008-01-09T15:43:00.001-05:00

They're baaaack! One of the best, hell, THE best horror rock band has returned with their second serving of hot, steaming intestinal tracks! Yes, I give you Calabrese! The boys, after winning the award for best horror rock band last year, could have settled for a mediocre sophomore effort, but what they did was completely the opposite. As awesome as 13 Hallowe'ens was, in many respects The Traveling Vampire Show is superior! The recording is better, the playing is crisper and the lyrics are bloodier! The CD features 12 hard rocking tunes and it sounds unbelievable when cranked! The band wastes no time in getting back in your face as the CD kicks off with the gruesome "Death Eternal." Over the course of the disc, you're treated to some of the best rock you've ever heard! My favorite track is "Vampires Don't Exist," or it could be "Night in the Lonesome October," hell, I'm not sure! Like I've said before, I don't care if you love or hate horror rock, Calabrese cannot be denied! Before this band is through, all will bow before their shadow. Just like 13 Hallowe'ens before it, The Traveling Vampire Show gets ****** out of *****. That's not a typo. It gets 6 out of 5 stars! Grab a copy today! Click the banner at the bottom of the page to visit the band's website and while you're at it, check out their video for "Voices of the Dead" immediately below.

DVD Review: Werewolf: The Devil's Hound

2008-01-08T06:51:00.000-05:00

Hmmm, nice title, nice box design, could this be a diamond in the rough? No doubt about it, I love werewolf movies, when they're done right that is. Films like Dog Soldiers and the Ginger Snaps series have been some of the better movies on the subject, but boy have there been some crappers too. Wolf and Cursed anyone? Anyway, when I came across this flick, I just had to check it out, and in truth, it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it wasn't as good as it should have been. Werewolf: The Devil's Hound is like watching three films in one. It starts off as an action movie, then tranforms into a serious melodrama and ultimately ends up as a slapstick comedy. The amazing thing - when taken individually, they each work, but as a whole, it leaves you feeling bewildered. The plot follows a female werewolf who is boxed up and shipped on a tanker to parts unknown when the shipment accidentally ends up on American soil. She escapes and bites a young pyrotechnic named Kevin. What ensues is pretty good as the drama unfolds and the Kevin's girlfriend gets pissed that this other woman is around all the while the guy is undergoing the "change." But it's the end of the film that really surprised me. When VonBunsen enters the picture (where he came from, I don't know) things get silly. Suddenly, it turns into a martial arts/werewolf farce and yes, I was laughing through it all. As far as the werewolf makeup is concerned, Kevin's make-up was great, as he never fully "changed," but the female werewolf? Where did they come up with that design? I've never seen so much puffy hair on a werewolf! Overall, it was entertaining, if not certainly off-balance. I believe most people wouldn't care for it, but I appreciate the filmmaker's attempt. That's why I give Werewolf: The Devil's Hound **1/2 out of *****. It's no Ginger Snaps, but it's not Cursed either. Check out the trailer for Werewolf: The Devil's Hound below.

The Blood Shed Trailer

2008-01-06T13:27:00.000-05:00

Here's the trailer for one of my favorite films of 2007! Check it out, then read my review of the film directly below and then, go rent this film and see for yourself why it gets 5 Stars!!

DVD Review: The Blood Shed

2008-01-03T14:33:00.001-05:00

Inbred backwoods cannibals, living in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey? What is this, a documentary? I think I noticed a few of my neighbors in this film! Yep, The Blood Shed brings the murderous inbred hillbilly genre to the Garden State, and man, is it an enjoyable ride! This film has it all - blood, laughs, snarling, roadkill, psychotic grandmothers, ball busting, Little LuLu - I mean everthing! The mastermind behind this film is Alan Rowe Kelly, who also happens to play "12-year old" Beeftina. The film is directed perfectly and you can really tell the actors relish their roles, playing it up as effectively as ever. Plenty of violence, B-movie gore and black humor make The Blood Shed easily one of my favorite movies of 2007. The film, as low budget as it is, features remarkably good quality in both video and audio. From this point on, when I'm asked for a movie recommendation, The Blood Shed will definitely be at the top of the list. The Blood Shed drips ***** out of *****. It's a perfect movie!

Here are some Hot-Off-The-Press Trailers for You!

2007-12-23T08:38:00.000-05:00

Teeth - You won't believe what this one is about! Oh snap! Literally!

The Eye - Jessica Alba sees dead people.

Cloverfield - The most anticipated film of the new year? It is for me so far.

Wall*E - Disney and Pixar's latest masterpiece.

Hancock - Will Smith's next summer blockbuster.

The Signal - The evil that men do.

The Orphanage - A ghost story produced by Guillermo del Toro? It has to be good!

Speed Racer - Oh boy, what's the product blitz going to be like for this one? Definitely one of the most colorful films of the new year!

DVD Review: Captivity

2007-12-23T08:18:00.001-05:00

If you can remember, Captivity made headlines with its unique billboards in California. The billboards depicting a woman's abduction, confinement, torture and termination were simply too much for the public to bear and they were judicially made to remove them. So, you can imagine when the film came out on DVD, I just had to see what all the fuss was about! Here's my review of Captivity in classic Captivi-tay style!

Abduction - The opening of Captivity is pretty good. It sucked me in and garnered my interest. The violence was gruesome and the opening sequence was pretty effective.

Confinement - Okay, the film is moving at a pretty brisk pace, I feel as if I will stick with it to the end. Again, the level of gore is pretty good for a Hollywood movie, although at this point, the film doesn't feel like a big Hollywood horror movie.

Torture - Sonofabitch I knew it! It couldn't keep this level up. Suddenly, on a dime, the damn movie turns from being a pretty effective psychological thriller into a meaningless piece of Big Hollywood crap! Goodness gracious!

Termination - The ending of the film is so ridiculous, so contrived, so stupid that I have to wonder if the makers of the film got tired of working on it and just wanted to finish it off. I am livid at this point and I want to grab something to break - hey, this DVD of Captivity is just the thing!

I hate it when a film starts out good only to fall into an abyss of crap. Now, we can add Captivity to that ever-growing list. Maybe next time, the studio will focus on making a good film rather than using an advertising ploy to get people to recognize it! Damn! Captivity gets ** out of *****.

Bikini Bloodbath Trailer

2007-11-28T11:02:00.000-05:00

Here's the trailer for Bikini Bloodbath, the latest release from Bloodbath Pictures! Check this out and then read my review of the DVD below!

DVD Review: Bikini Bloodbath

2007-11-28T10:32:00.000-05:00

A film full of bouncing boobies, buckets of blood and a barrage of bad words is what the gang at Bloodbath Pictures set out to make, and make it they did! Bikini Bloodbath is a hilarious horror-spoof from the masterminds who brought us Land of College Prophets, and like that movie, Bikini Bloodbath is impressively made for such a small independent group. You can tell with each film these guys produce, they get better at their craft. The editing is better, the video and sound quality is better and the actors prove themselves quite versatile. While the film's plot is pretty much summed up as a crazy French chef killing everyone he comes into contact with (still not sure why, but it doesn't really matter), this is not a film you're going to watch and discuss the reasonings behind making it. This is a film to just chill out with and laugh. Genre-vet Debbie Rochon was absolutely great in the film, although I wish she could have stuck around longer! Her lesbo-tactics had me laughing hysterically. While not a mind-blowing film, you may blow a gut laughing, and that's exactly what the filmmakers were going for, so they definitely succeeded there. Yeah, I really liked Bikini Bloodbath, because it is what it is - a man's movie! And if you don't like boobies, blood and bad words, then you're not a man, man. I give Bikini Bloodbath ****1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Wrong Turn 2: Dead End

2007-11-17T07:27:00.000-05:00

Throughout history, there have only been a few sequels that were better than the original - The Empire Strikes Back was better than Star Wars, many people think that Godfather 2 was better than the first, and now, Wrong Turn 2 can be added to that tiny list of exceptions. Now, I happened to like the original, but Wrong Turn 2 kicks it up a notch! This is one direct-to-DVD release which should have seen the theaters. The effects are really good and it is very well made. I was nervous about the characters at first, but surprisingly, they turned out to be really good. Henry Rollins is the man (although I can't say I approve for how he goes out, kinda wimpy). The story follows a group of reality television contestants filming a new show out in the West Virginia woods (never a good idea). Suddenly, they start getting picked off by those nasty, inbred hillbillies (in West Virginia?). The killing starts early and it doesn't relent! This is by far the best inbred mutant cannibalistic murdering hillbilly movie made! These bulbous-headed bastards make the gang in Hills Have Eyes 1 & 2 look lame! They make Leatherface look like a pansy-ass! For a rip-roaring good time, where people are split in two, exploded, tortured and maimed, take a right turn down Wrong Turn 2: Dead End! It breeds ****1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Wind Chill

2007-11-10T09:46:00.000-05:00

I love it when you pick up a DVD, without having any prior information about it, and it turns out to be a pretty good movie. In the past, such notable films like Dead Birds and Satan's Little Helper were discovered exactly the same way. Now, it happens again with Wind Chill. This movie is not only shot very well, but the actors turn in fine performances as well. The story follows a college girl looking for a ride home for the holidays. She finds one from another classmate, who may or may not be a stalker. Anyway, during the drive to her home, she discovers that her driver is not who he claims to be and that winds up being the best part of the trip! The two actors, Emily Blunt and Ashton Holmes do a great job of creating personal tension between the two of them. When Holmes makes a bad decision on their driving route, their car ends up on the side of the road, stranding them in a no man's land of ice and snow. While the area is secluded, they are not alone. What happens next is tense, fun and well done! Wind Chill is one of this year's nice surprises. I give it ****1/2 out of *****.

Book Review: Dead Man's Song by Jonathan Maberry

2007-11-04T08:20:00.000-05:00

Ah yes, it feels good to be back in Pine Deep! Dead Man's Song is the second in a horror trilogy by Bram Stoker award winning author Jonathan Maberry and it is just as riveting as the first chapter, Ghost Road Blues. This book picks up right where the first one ends, with Crow and Val recovering from their battle with Karl Ruger. However, everything is still not right in Pine Deep. Tow-Truck Eddie is still on the search for the Anti-Christ, the dead walk, Mayor Wolfe is losing his grip, Dr. Weinstock makes a horrifying discovery and that's just the start of it. This book is exactly what the middle part of a trilogy should be - a furthering of a complex story, while building up for a major finale. I simply cannot wait for the final chapter of this good versus evil epic. Don't keep us waiting too long Jonathan! My only beef with the book? The person who edited it. Jonathan, please, tell the publisher to find a better editor next time. Other than the poor editing, it's another stellar book from one of horror's best! ****1/2 out of *****!

DVD Review: The Tripper

2007-10-31T06:23:00.000-05:00

Coming from the sometimes-warped mind of David Arquette, I figured The Tripper was going to be a spasmic, fun, spaced-out killer ride. But instead what I got was spasmic, slow and ultimately disappointing one. The set-up was good, about a bunch of stoners heading into the woods for a mini-Woodstock-type festival only to slaughtered by a madman wearing a Ronald Reagan outfit. There are certainly environmental and governmental overtures throughout the movie, but at times, they seemed to overshadow the fun of it all. Plus, I gotta ask you, is there any work out there for Jason Mewes where he isn't playing a stoner? He was so annoying in this movie that I uttered "finally" when he got whacked. The killing wasn't thrilling, there was never a sense of tension, and not even Pee-Wee Herman himself could shed light on this one. However, Thomas Jane did make me chuckle with his performance as the Sherriff. With so many drug references and psychadelic effects, I think Arquette hopes people are stoned while they're watching the movie. Alas, it may be the only way to enjoy it. The Tripper trips up and gets ** out of *****.

DVD Review: Flight of the Living Dead

2007-10-25T06:07:00.001-05:00

I have to say, I was quite worried about this one. I mean, come on, how can they make a movie based on zombies on an airplane? Well, it worked for snakes, so why not zombies, I guess. Strangely enough, I found that I kinda liked it. I'm not going to go out and tell everyone I know that they just have to see this masterpiece, mind you. But for an hour and a half, I was into the movie. Call it pure zombie escapism.

Flight of the Living Dead is about a massive airliner filled to capacity, carrying a top-secret government test subject. Damn government, is there anything they aren't to blame for! Anyway, one thing leads to another and the "test subject" is released from her containment. What ensues is mass zombie fun! For a direct-to-DVD feature, New Line did a great job. Excellent special effects, a decent cast and some really good camera work combine to make Flight of the Living Dead a thoroughly watchable flick. If you can get past the fact that nearly seven thousand rounds of gunfire are shot from two handguns, and not one pierces the body of the airplane, then you'll have no problem losing yourself to the gruesome effects of Flight of the Living Dead! Oh, and don't look now, but if this film does well, there will no doubt be a sequel. Flight of the Living Dead resurrects ***1/2 out of *****.

10 Questions for...Brian Keene

2007-10-08T12:32:00.000-05:00

Finally! I bagged an interview with one of my favorite writers, my main man, Brian Keene. Between this dude being so busy and thanks to a Myspace issue, this interview is a little late in coming, but well worth the wait. Here's a look into one of horror's most original minds - the Bram Stoker Award winning author, Brian Keene.

1.) Dave: Hi Brian, thanks for spending some time with us. My first question is – What is your writing routine like?

Brian: Monday through Friday, I get up at around 5am. I answer email and respond to posts on my message board until about 7am. I never fully seem to get caught up with these, but I try. Then around 8am, I start writing. I work till 1pm, eat lunch, and then start writing again at 2pm. Then I work until 5pm or 6pm, at which point I'm done for the day. Sometimes I'll work later than that, or work on weekends, too---especially if I'm under deadline.

2.) Dave: At what point did you decide that writing was going to be your career?

Brian: When I started making enough money from it to quit my day job. (laughs). Seriously, I've always been a writer. Even when my writing was barely earning me enough to buy a newspaper, I still thought of myself as a writer. I always made sure I had a day job, but I never thought of those jobs as my vocation. They were what I did to earn money. Writing was my vocation. These days, I'm lucky enough to do it for a living.

3.) Dave: How did you get your first novel published?

Brian: Trial and error and lots of patience. I wrote it, finished it, polished it and then submitted it. Eventually, Delirium Books accepted it for hardcover and then Leisure Books accepted it for paperback. Before that, there were lot's of "No thanks. It's not for us. Zombies will never be popular again."

4.) Dave: You’re a pretty prolific writer. How do you keep track of all of your ideas?

Brian: For each idea I turn into a finished story, there are probably ten that I forget about. That makes me sad, in a way. Do dead story ideas turn into ghosts? Hey, there's another idea! Quick, write that down.

Usually, I remember the good ones. Occasionally, if it's something really, really good, I might jot down some rough notes so I don't forget it.

5.) Dave: What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

Brian: Despite what you may have heard, I'm pretty boring. I like target shooting (I'm a pretty good shot), reading, watching movies, fishing, and taking walks in the woods with my wife and dog.

6.) Dave: The covers of a few of your books (The Rising, Ghoul and the upcoming Dead Sea) are very similar. Do you have a thing for hands or is it just a coincidence?

Brian: That's all up to the publisher's marketing department. Authors generally don't have much say in what goes on their covers. The hands are supposed to create a brand in the mind of the average consumer, or so I'm told.

7.) Dave: The three boys in Ghoul each have terrible things happening at home. Was this an attempt to make a statement about the family unit or was it simply for character depth?

Brian: Some of it was based on real life events---things that happened to me or friends of mine when we were that age. But yeah, the important thing to me was that when the reader finished the book, they were left wondering just who the real monsters really were---the ghoul, or the parents?

8.) Dave: Dead Sea is your next novel. Can you give us a hint as to what we can expect?

Brian: It's in stores now. It's a book totally written for the fans. They asked for another zombie novel, and I obliged. It was an absolute blast to write. I had fun with it. Zombie pusists will dig it because, unlike The Rising and City of the Dead, these zombies can't talk or think or use weapons or drive cars.

9.) Dave: There are a lot of musical references in Ghoul. What type of music do you listen to and do you listen to it while you write?

Brian: I have background noise all day long. From 6am until 11, it's Howard Stern. If he ever went off the air, I think I'd have to quit writing. Once Howard's show is over, I listen to various music all day long. I'm pretty ecclectic in my musical tastes. Today, for example, it was Bruce Springsteen, Iron Maiden, Prince, Waylon Jennings, Mastadon, Ice-T, Anthrax, Love and Rockets, Queensryche, Pixies, Circle of Fear, Robert Johnson, Nighttime Dealers, Vertigo Sun, Faith No More, and Dr. Dre. Tomorrow, it might be those bands again, or it might be something different.

10.) Dave: What advice do you have for aspiring writers?

Brian: Better authors than me have said it, but read every day and write every day. Every single day, man. To be successful as a writer, you need three things: the ability to write, patience, and determination.

My sincere thanks to Brian for providing a quick glimpse into his writing life and creative process. For those who haven't experienced his go-for-the-throat style of writing, head out and pick up one of his books, or better yet, pick up his library, it will save you a return trip! Or, just click on one of the book titles listed above to purchase it directly from Amazon. Find out more about this talented wordsmith by visiting his website, www.briankeene.com.

DVD Review: Hostel 2

2007-09-23T07:48:00.001-05:00

Hostel 2 finds us following a group of sexy, young Americans making their way across Europe, meeting strange and exciting people along the way, when their trip goes terribly wrong. Wait a minute, this sounds exactly like Hostel Part 1. Indeed it does my friend, indeed it does. Unfortunately, I was left with a "been there, seen that" feeling after watching Hostel 2. While I really like Eli Roth's ambition for the genre and I still feel he has something really great up his sleeve, I can't help but feel like this is a cash-in. Replace the guys from the first movie with girls and hello, an all-new movie! While this film picks up almost immediately where the first left off, and while it does show us more into the minds of the people who actually run and participate in the festivities of the Elite Hunting Club, it's far from original. The difference between the Hostel and Saw series is that the creators of the Saw series strive to make each movie different and they're nicely complex, whereas Hostel is you get what you pay for. I didn't even think this film was bloodier than the first, which was really a surprise. The appeal of the original was the stark reality and brutality of the film, that this stuff does exist and how horrifying it is. With the second installment, that shock is lost and the film suffers for it. Hostel Part 2 chops up ** out of *****.

Movie Review: Black Sheep

2007-09-14T10:33:00.000-05:00

From New Zealand comes this horror/comedy from director Jonathan King. It tells the story of a young man returning home to his family's sheep farm, only to find out that his brother authorized genetic experiments on the helpless woolmakers. A tale of nature gone bad, where there's genetic experiments, there's zombie action waiting to happen, and this time it's zombie sheep! The film was impressively shot, hard not to be with the gorgeous New Zealand countryside serving as the backdrop. But, overall, the film wasn't nearly as funny, or scary as I had hoped. While it tried to keep up with previous horror/comedy masterpieces like Dead Alive, Black Sheep felt a tad uninspired. For me, it just wound up being an alright movie. The creature effects were nice, and there was some tasty gore but in the end, I wasn't blown away. Black Sheep is worth a look if you're hard up for a Saturday night flick, but don't expect a laugh out loud scarefest. Black Sheep grazes **1/2 out of *****.

DVD Review: Skinwalkers

2007-09-12T13:37:00.001-05:00

How can a movie with such a cool poster be bad? Well, while it's not exactly bad, it could have been sooo much better. SkinWalkers tells the tale of two types of werewolves, the ones who like killing and maiming and the ones who want their curse to be lifted. There's a small boy, a half-breed, who holds the key to lifting the curse, or at least that's what the "prophecy" states. When the boy turns 13 during the time of the red full moon, he will begin the process of cleaning up all of werewolfdom. Needless to say, the bad werewolves want the kid dead. We're left with an action-packed movie filled with gun-toting werewolves, one group trying to save and hide the boy and the other tracking and trying to kill him. Overall, the movie was just a standard action film with some bad werewolf makeup thrown in for good measure. Never scary or gory, it lost its horror element from the beginning. Don't pick this film based on its werewolf theme, because you'll be sadly disappointed. But, if you like guns blazing and only a few people getting hit, then you'll enjoy SkinWalkers. For me, I give it ** out of *****.

DVD Review: Vacancy

2007-09-12T13:04:00.000-05:00

The title of this one says it all. Vacant is exactly the look you'll have on your face during the 85 minute crapfest that is Vacancy. The plot of this film is the only thing it has going for it, and it's pretty lame. As a quarrelsome couple begins to have car trouble, along a long, dark stretch of god-knows-where blacktop, they're forced to stop into a nicely lit gas station. The kindly gentleman there fixes (wink, wink) their car and it only goes about two miles before it dies for good (the same can't be said about the movie, aaarggh). As the insults fly, the couple heads back to the hotel right next to the gas station. While there, the shady innkeeper provides them with a gloomy room. The damn room looks like someone died in there. Ooops, someone did! Not only that, but our moronic leading duo, played by Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale discover that their room is actually used to make snuff films. They find out because video tapes are left in their room. Oh, the psychological terror! What happens next is neither exciting, thrilling or scary, but it did cause me to a bad case of gas (probably out of boredom). The stunning climax of this movie is one you'll never wish you saw coming and if Wilson's acting in the final ten minutes isn't some of the most over-the-top crappiness ever caught on celluloid then I'm a monkey's uncle. This film was appropriately directed by a guy with the first name, Nimrod. No joke. Vancancy fails to check in with only * out of *****. Run, don't walk away from this crappy big Hollywood piece of poop.

CD Review: Fears in the Water by The Vincent Black Shadow

2007-08-05T07:17:00.000-05:00

The Vincent Black Shadow is the new band formed by horror crooner Nim Vind and man, are they great! I'm telling you, this band is going to hit it big. With a sound similar to early No Doubt, but infinitely cooler, TVBS's debut album Fears in the Water is one that's constantly playing on my MP3 player. Female lead singer Cassandra Ford easily transcends the musical diversity the band pumps out, from guitar-driven rockers to mellow, lounge-esque crooners and she proves that she has the pipes to make it work. I can't think of another debut that so instantaneously grabbed my eardrums and provided them with such auditory pleasure! Fears in the Water gets ***** out of *****. Pick up your copy today, and you'll know what's hot before it even comes to temperature.